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Old School Introductory Rap
- 183 statements
- 34 feature instances
- 15 referencing feature instances
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My name is TV Tropes and I'm here to say This is how you rap, the lame '80s way. If I rap real bad and my rhymes ain't fly It's probably cause I was written by a Hollywood guy The way I rhyme, it's like old skool But when they drop these beats I sound like a fool. While I could go on 'til the end of time I tend to get cut off before you hear the— Alright, enough of that. It's Common Knowledge in TV land that raps have to begin with "My name is so-and-so and I'm here to say...", often followed by describing doing something in a major way or claiming to be something-ish in the USA. These raps have a very specific meter typical of Old School rap, consisting of rhyming couplets with 8 (or more) syllable lines.scansion: x x x / x x x / While this was Truth in Television to a limited extent in the earliest days of rap (when rappers did introduce themselves and use this particular meter), Hip-Hop has changed a lot since then— but don't tell writers that. This sort of rap is a sign of characters (or writers) who are trying to stay hip with the kids, but whose knowledge of rap comes from Pop Culture Osmosis and still think rap is just a fad from the early '80s, resulting in Totally Radical. A Dead Horse Trope, this is usually used in comedy, often in conjunction with A Wild Rapper Appears!. As such, it's a common variant of the Piss-Take Rap and is typically performed by an unhip white guy trying to be Totally Radical, or some other entity that has no business rapping. These raps display a contrast between the rappers' attempted swag and coolness and the uncoolness of the lyrical subject matter, which is often educational or very mundane. Subtrope of "I Am" Song, and raps that don't fit the meter or corny nature of this template should go there instead. For corny raps that don't fit the meter, see Piss-Take Rap. |
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Origami Yoda: In "The Surprise Attack of Jabba the Puppett", a FunTime show suddenly shows up on the TV during a meeting. In that show, Gizmo starts rapping: | |
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The song "Neil's Turn" from Commentary! The Musical has Neil Patrick Harris attempting this, with predictable results. | |
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Inside Job (2021): In "How Reagan Got Her Groove Back," Brett tries to defend Gigi's honor from the Illuminati with a Piss-Take Rap. Not only does he use the corny "and I'm here to say" line, he doesn't even stay on meter. | |
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In the episode of Escape from Vault Disney! discussing Encanto, Madeline, while trying to explain her disdain for Hamilton, clarifies that she thinks the songs are better than this stereotype. She then raps: | |
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Space Ghost Coast to Coast has The Rapping Space Goblin, a character Space Ghost brought onto the show in one episode, who began his raps with "Weeeeeellllll, I'm the Space Goblin, and I'm here to say," before rapping about Stock Aesops like "look both ways before crossing the street" and "eat your vegetables". He gets about two and a half raps in before Zorak zaps him. | |
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Discussed in BoJack Horseman. On the set of Horsin' Around, a rather saccharine and formulaic sitcom from the early '90s, BoJack keeps asking Herb to insert a segment where he raps. Bojack mentions that one of the main obstacles is that they're having trouble finding something to rhyme with "and I'm here to say". | |
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An episode of Cheers has Sam become a sports anchor. However, as an ex-athlete with no media experience, he turns out to be very boring, so he turns to gimmicks like this to appeal to people. | |
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The Simpsons: In the episode "Mr. Plow", Homer's "fresh and original" ad idea is a rap that goes "I'm Mr. Plow and I'm here to say, I'm the plowinest guy in the USA", which elicits instant groans from the kids. In "Selma's Choice", at the Duff Gardens Beer Hall of Presidents they have Abe Lincoln do this: |
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Parodied in a "Scenes From a Hat" skit in Whose Line Is It Anyway?, when Brad responds to "People who shouldn't rap" by saying "Well I'm [X] and I'm here to say!" for two different people. The first time, it's Newt Gingrich; the second time, it's Stephen Hawking, complete with his iconic "synthesized" voice and posture. | |
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Subverted and parodied in the Martin episode "Blow, Baby, Blow" when Cole auditions to be a backup singer for Biggie Smalls (which by the time he was popular, the expression had long since fallen out of popularity): | |
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Community: In "Pascal's Triangle Revisited", the very British Prof. Duncan drunkenly bursts on stage to rap "My name is Ian Duncan and I'm here to say, I'm here to rhyme in a rapping way, I have a really big penis and I drink lots of tea...." before getting cut off. In another episode, the Dean (who by Season 5 had begun showing up in the study room dressed in weird costumes that are only barely related to the message he came to bring) arrives dressed as a candy bar (because he wants to talk about the professors' Pay Day). He attempts to play this trope straight "I'm a peanut bar and I'm here to say, your checks will arrive on another day", but he quickly adopts more modern meter and subject matter, which shocks him. He has no idea where that came from. |
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Uncle Grandpa has an example in Mr. Gus. The rap concerns Uncle Grandpa's love of Peanut Butter which the cast randomly begins singing about during the episode. You might not want to rack your brain about the reason too much. | |
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Homestuck: The song "GameGrl (original 1993 mix)" has essences of this, starting with GameGrl introducing herself before the song gets even weirder. | |
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Paint: In his "2016 Sucks" video and collaboration with Grace Helbig, Grace has rap bits, the first one starting with: | |
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In ProZD's video "a villain is really excited to show the hero a rap he wrote," King Dragon's Boastful Rap begins with "I'm King Dragon, I'm the king of the lair, and now that you're in here, you aren't going anywhere." The hero finds the rap annoying more than anything. | |
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In the xkcd comic "Open Mic Night," two very nerdy rappers go up with raps in the following format: "I'm M.C. [scientific concept] and I'm here to say [line that self-demonstrates the concept]". E.g. "M.C. Aphasia" goes on to incoherently mumble words after introducing herself (aphasia is a language disorder). | |
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The Powerpuff Girls: In "Escape from Monster Island", Buttercup and Blossom attempt to have a rap battle to decide who gets the last ticket: | |
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Yakuza 2: One of the substories in the 'Kiwami' remake has Kiryu meet up with a wannabe rapper, who starts off his rap with "My name is DJ Michael and I'm here to say..." | |
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A rare (not-parody) modern take on this genre is the Wonder Girls song "Back" from their album Reboot. Since the whole concept behind the album is being retro and 80s-themed, mostly a Genre Throwback to 80s dance-pop, it makes more sense there than it would on most other K-pop albums. | |
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Paranatural: The page that introduces Flipflop has the Alt Text: | |
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The Office (US): In "Threat Level Midnight", a scene in Michael's movie has Billy the bartender playing "The Scarn" to cheer up Agent Scarn. While he refuses to dance along at first, he soon joins in and teaches everyone in the restaurant how to do the dance, in the form of a rap that begins with, "Well, my name is Michael Scarn and I'm here to say, I'm about to do the Scarn in a major way!" | |
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Arin and Danny of Game Grumps do one in the Dennis the Menace episode as if they're Mr. Wilson, the surly older neighbor: | |
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Rifftrax Live shows normally have humorous slides before the show poking fun at things like trivia, word-jumble games, and movie quotes. One of the latter is this priceless quote that's ten times funnier (and equally horrifying) for fans of the comic strip in question: | |
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In Splatoon 2, one of the stage dialogues for Humpback Pump Track has Pearl make fun of Marina with a rap. | |
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Questionable Content: Played for Black Comedy in Hannelore's recurring nightmares of a homicidal rapping penis. Beeps does a rap when inviting Roko to a girls' night out. |
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Saturday Night Live: One sketch had guest star Garth Brooks selling his soul to the Devil (Will Ferrell with horns and red face-paint) in exchange for music and lyrics to a hit song to kick-start his pop-music career. The Devil comes up with several songs, only for Brooks to tell him they all suck. Finally, in desperation, Lucifer half-heartedly launches into "I'm the Devil, / And I'm here to say, / I'm the most evil rapper in the U.S.A. / All my homies and my bitches, / They say "Hey HEY"... before finally giving up. In one of Eminem's guest appearances on the show in the early 2000s, he joined "Grandmaster Rap" and "Kid Shazaam" to rap in this style, instead of in his usual lyrically-technical and hyperoffensive style. |
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Hamilton: In the song "Aaron Burr, Sir", Hamilton's friends introduce themselves via rap with some variations of "My name is[...]and[...]". For example, John Laurens starts it off with "I'm John Laurens in the place to be!" This contrasts Hamilton's more complex and modern rap when he introduces himself in the next song, "My Shot". | |
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In a story from Harley Quinn: Black, White and Red, Gotham City is agog at rumours that a tape of the Joker rapping has been discovered. Harley enters a rap battle to win it because she wants to have it to make fun of it and nearly wins... until the Joker himself turns up at the site. The tape is then played, however, and it turns out that the Joker is a completely awful rapper whose freestyle actually begins "My name is Joker and I'm here to say, I love causing chaos in a major way". He then gets laughed out of the building. | |
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The Non-Adventures of Wonderella: In "Breaking BAUD," Dana stumbles across a Totally Radical PSA about the internet that her own mom, the previous bearer of the Wonderella mantle, recorded back in the '90s. Then the PSA turns into a parody of "Don't Copy That Floppy", and her mom's attempt at rapping causes Dana to spontaneously burst into flames from sheer embarrassment. | |
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Todd in the Shadows uses this in his One Hit Wonderland episode covering the 90s hit "Whoomp! There It Is" by Tag Team. Specifically, after playing some clips from their attempted followup, "U Go Girl", Todd offers his own impression to make fun of Tag Team's middling skills as rappers: | |
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In a deleted scene for the show of My Brother, My Brother and Me, one of Travis's attempts to add a "rap break" to the end of a song is done in this style, which Griffin points out is "from the Fruity Pebbles commercial". | |
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Comedy Bang! Bang! episode 245 features a segment with four comedians in a butter-themed rap battle. Scott Aukerman, the first up, begins his rap with: | |
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Anthrax, in their 1987 song "I'm the Man", one of the first instances of metal bands incorporating rap, fits this pattern. | |
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One of the Whammy animations in Whammy! The All-New Press Your Luck has the Whammy turn into a stereotypical rapper: "Well I'm the rappin' Whammy and it ain't no joke, I'm cleanin' you out and leavin' you broke!" | |
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