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Ridiculously High Relationship Standards
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When it comes to romance and sex, people generally tend to Have A Type; some people prefer people with decent morals, others want someone who makes a lot of money, still others want someone with large breasts. However, regardless of what their type is, most people are realistic enough to realize that they might have to settle or be more open-minded when it comes to finding love. Keyword here is most people. For some people, settling is absolutely not an option; they have standards, and they'll only date or sleep with someone who meets those exact standards. A character with this mindset might have an extremely Long List of standards that on their own are reasonable, but are unrealistic when taken all together. Alternatively they might have a few standards that are absurdly specific and difficult to meet; if they desire someone with decent morals, they won't be satisfied with someone who's simply nice, they'll want a literal saint. A Gold Digger with this mentality will only be willing to date the one percent and nothing less. Someone with a Buxom Beauty Standard might only go for women whose boobs are at least a triple D-cup, and be practically asexual when it comes to anyone smaller than that. The reasons for holding this mentality might vary; some characters might have a lot of options for potential partners and figure that they have a right to be picky. They might have very unrealistic views on love and have to learn the hard way that love is more complicated than what romance stories portray. Alternatively, the one seeking love might have reasonable standards; it's their parents with the unrealistic standards. The love lives of these characters might vary; they might end up alone because of their refusal to settle, find someone who fits their criteria, or decide that settling is better than being alone. Sister Trope to Minor Flaw, Major Breakup, the difference between the two being that this trope is about people who won't give people who don't meet their standards a chance, while the other trope is about people who are already in a relationship breaking it off because of some minor flaw. If a character doesn't bother to give someone a chance because of some minor flaw, it's this trope. If a character breaks off multiple relationships because of various, tiny flaws, its both. Compare The Perfectionist, Picky Eater, All Amazons Want Hercules, and Single-Target Sexuality. Contrast True Love is Exceptional. Examples |
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Much Ado About Nothing: There's this line from Benedict: That last line is the punchline. Benedick will only compromise on one of the least important factors. |
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The Simpsons: Parodied. In "Secrets of a Successful Marriage", Otto claims that his standards for love are too high and that nobody is good enough for him. However, Otto himself is gross and unattractive, so it plays out like he is no good for anyone else. | |
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In The 13 ½ Lives of Captain Bluebear, Chemluth Havanna is a Kavorka Man who sweeps girls off their feet left and right, but his interest rarely lasts longer than for one date, since he longs for a girl with really thick hair and even in the multi-species metropolis that is Atlantis he can't find anyone good enough for him. He finally finds love with Bluebear's former classmate Fredda who is entirely covered in long hair. | |
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Dragon Ball: Videl's Boyfriend-Blocking Dad, Mr. Satan, insists that only someone who can beat him in a fight can date her, which she finds ridiculous. The reason why is that while Mr. Satan is a weakling by the standards of this series, compared to the average person he's pretty strong, being a multi-time martial arts champion. Fortunately for Videl, her boyfriend Gohan is more than up to the task. | |
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The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love You: Chiyo's father Hiro's standards for who gets to date his daughter are impossibly high, and to that end, he will only allow his nephew, Rentarou, to do so. For context, Hiro is so grateful for Rentarou saving him from being hit by a tanker truck as a young boy that he resolved to set him and his daughter up as lovers when she was old enough. However, he set his master plan into action early when he noticed a steadily increasing number of girls accompanying Rentarou to school. | |
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Total Drama: Courtney plays with this trope in that she wants to change Duncan to fit her standards rather than break up with him for not meeting them. Being a perfectionist, she places many high standards on Duncan, including forcing him to sign a 32-page contract agreeing to various terms of their relationship and making a Long List of things he needs to change about himself to make their relationship perfect. | |
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The Big Bang Theory: Howard has a ridiculously high beauty standard that initially has him contemplate turning down a long-term relationship with Bernadette (though he's fine with one-night stands with pretty much anyone). Sheldon defends Howard's standards, saying that it is a genetic imperative to find the most desirable mates, then quickly turns it around, saying that whether Howard mating was in humanity's best interests was a whole other debate. | |
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The Music Man: Marian's mother accuses her of being like this after Marian rebuffs Professor Hill's advances. | |
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In PreTeena, fourteen-year-old Jeri Keene has such elevated ideas of her own worth that when the perfect potential boyfriend shows up (he's smart, good-looking, and adores her), she still doesn't think he's good enough and scorns him. | |
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In Family Law (2021), Daniel Svensson's standards for dating are that the woman has to be successful enough that he can bring her to meet his family and they'll be impressed with her, but not so successful that they'll overshadow him or be the dominant one in the relationship. He ends up rethinking this strategy after finding out that the reason his latest girlfriend gets on so well with his dad is because they're Amicable Exes; after that, he finally ends up with Martina, a chef who pushes him out of his comfort zone. | |
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Kaguya-sama: Love Is War: Shirogane holds himself to impossible standards in his quest to romance Kaguya due to the vast difference in their social status and natural talents. He is constantly exhausted due to the unhealthy work/study schedule needed to maintain his high grades and worries that showing his flaws, even for a moment, will ruin any relationship. Kaguya convinces him that she loves him entirely, flaws included, so he doesn't need to always be perfect for her. | |
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Leftover Soup: Gina's ideal relationship involves pushing "virginity until marriage" up to eleven with "our first kiss at the altar". Her friends are appalled when they learn of it and suddenly understand why a dating website had just banned her for unrealistic standards. | |
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Akame ga Kill!: Esdeath has several criteria for her one true love. They must be younger than her (so she can dominate them), they must have hidden potential (so she can mold them into a general), they must be brave enough to fight by her side, they must have been born outside the capital, and they must have a beautiful smile. | |
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Futurama: Early in the series, Leela tends to only pursue men with impressive jobs and a sense of authority and importance — at one point, she daydreams about being married to a senator, and her actual boyfriends include a doctor and the mayor's aide. This may be due to her own insecurity (she's frequently rejected and ostracized for being a cyclops), as she says in "The Cyber House Rules" that she wants to date someone she can be seen with without anybody judging him. While her reasons for turning down men make some sense (she turns down a man with an unsettlingly long lizard tongue, and she has pretty good reasons to turn down Zapp and Fry), her coworkers chastise her for her tendency to turn down any man with an off-putting "quirk" (even if some of them are genuinely justified). | |
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Jim Cornette had one complaint about Chris Jericho when he hired Jericho and Lance Storm to his SMW group. He hired the two to be what he called a "Blow Job Tag Team" (a team that entices women to come to the local wrestling events in hopes that they will be able to date the wrestlers in question), but it didn't work as Jericho was too damn picky on whom he would date. (Storm didn't help either because not only was he married, but his wife would also frequently show up to events, dashing the ring rats dreams of being with him). | |
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The Emperor's New Groove: The Royal Matchmaker presents six lovely candidates to Emperor Kuzco. Kuzco is such a spoiled Royal Brat that he dismisses all six in six seconds as though they were hip-flask ugly. "Is this the best you can do?" he chastens the matchmaker. Most of the cute, shapely girls are stunned at being so blithely eliminated, but they're smart enough to say nothing, though one did have to be physically restrained by the others. | |
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Werewolf: The Forsaken: The Ivory Claws, being a tribe of Nazi-analogues, are a Played for Horror example; out of all of the Pure Tribes, the Ivory Claws are the smallest due to their high standards for who can join their tribe or who their tribe's members can marry. They often reject werewolves with any Forsaken blood, with some going so far as to only marry other Ivory Claws, with the more "moderate" tribesmen preferring humans of exceptional talent, such as gold-medal athletes, top scientists, or influential politicians. The horror comes from the fact that the Ivory Claws have no issues with forced marriage or rape as a means of improving their bloodlines. | |
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The American President: Syndey goes out on a date with the widowed President of the United States but expresses doubts about the budding relationship to her sister. Her sister responds: "Sydney, the man is the leader of the free world. He's brilliant, funny, handsome. He's an above-average dancer. Isn't it possible our standards are just a tad high?" | |
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In the Danny Phantom fanfiction Growing Pains, one of the reasons why Helena was unable to find a husband in her human life and still can't find one as a ghost is because of her ridiculously Long List of high standards. Not helping matters is the fact that, despite her good looks, the men she meets are not attracted to her due to her aggressive personality. | |
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Monirobo: Yuki is a 45-year old woman with an extremely Long List of standards who goes to a marriage counseling service to find an ideal husband. When Nano insists that she lower her standards, Yuki responds that she did. When introduced to various men who did meet her standards, she rejects them for minor reasons like liking manga or being the eldest son in the family, with the latter having coffee poured on his head. While at a matchmaking party, she gets a dose of reality when she sees a fifty-year-old woman who manages to find a man simply by having more reasonable standards. When she sees the guy whom she poured coffee on, she tries to go for him, insisting that he should be grateful that she lowered her standards for him; he rejects her because she poured coffee on him. | |
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6teen: Caitlin the Serial Romeo has a habit of dumping guys for extremely trivial reasons. She broke up with Talon because he sucks at kissing (keep in mind this was after she was afraid he'd break up with her), and left Billy just because he had bad acne on his back. | |
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Tremors: Val has a very specific idea of his dream woman, wanting someone who is blonde, has green eyes, is very busty, etc. (Something his partner Earl derides him for). Ironically, the woman he ends up with has none of those traits. | |
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The Golden Girls: Played for Laughs in the episode "Sophia's Wedding." Blanche, who's famous for her long list of gentlemen callers, says that she might consider getting married again—but only if the man in question had "the body of Mel Gibson, the personality of Johnny Carson, and the financial resources of Donald Trump." Rue McClanahan herself, who played the character, remarked that she interpreted Blanche as someone who was entirely spoiled by her wonderful marriage to her late husband George, and while she had a lot of lovers, her standards for dating someone seriously were based on that marriage and thus nearly impossible to meet. | |
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Etra chan saw it!: Azami was a Dude Magnet who rejected guys left and right because she wanted a man who came from a good family AND had a six-figure salary. She got her wish when she got engaged to Kuroki, only to blow it when she impulsively sleeps with a guy at a host club. Despite the fact that she's lost her looks to age and weight gain, she still insists on marrying a guy with said standards, much to her parents' exasperation. | |
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Mr Malcolm's List: The rich and handsome Mr Malcolm actually keeps a list of ten qualities he seeks in a potential wife, including being good-looking, able to talk politics, having musical talent, having good conversational skills, and so on. To the dismay of the ton, he takes several young ladies on outings and drops them as soon as he finds out that they don't have even one of the characteristics. Julia decides to take revenge for being snubbed by him in public by having her friend Selina act as his ideal wife, then as soon as Mr Malcolm declares his love for her, have Selina reveal that she has her own high-standard list and dump him. | |
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Family Guy: In a parody of The Music Man scene, the episode "Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows" has Lois calling out Brian for having high standards for the women he dates, who are often young but dumb bimbos. | |
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How I Met Your Mother: The reason that a show with the titular premise can last for nine seasons is that protagonist Ted Mosby has very exacting taste in women and will not settle for anyone but the perfect woman. He's explicit in his philosophy that finding "the one" means someone who ticks every box and that you don't have to change or adapt for, you just happen to be perfect for one another from the get-go and thus it takes a long time for him to meet that perfect someone. He dates and even proposes to plenty of women, but it never works out for him. Ted actually managed to play this trope straight and invert it. He frequently dumped women who were perfect for him but for one insignificant flaw (doesn't reach for the check, doesn't like Woody Allen movies), but all his long-term relationships which he put the most effort into were with women who were obviously wrong for him because they didn't share his life goals (Robin), initially rejected him (Victoria, Stella), or were just horrible people (Karen, Zoe, Jeanette). Perhaps Ted's real impossible standard was how impossible obstacles to a relationship would be. |
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One short story in Smoke Weed, See the Future involves precognitive Taylor dealing with a client, Emily, who keeps dragging her dates to Taylor's house so that Taylor can determine if any of the relationships will last; invariably, Emily ends up dumping all of them because Taylor's visions show the entire progression of the relationship, including any dramas or infidelities, and Emily can't bear the thought of spending her time on an imperfect relationship. | |
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Mr. Plinkett Reviews: In his Attack of the Clones review, he claims that women's list of what they look out for from men is a bit longer than a list men look for from women. Cue a woman listing all the things she looks for from men until Plinkett interrupts her. | |
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