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Seven Dirty Words
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In the United States, there are seven words that you can't say on TV. It's not an official list, and no such list exists. Instead, they were codified by the late great George Carlin in 1972 on his seminal comedy album Class Clown, as a way of encapsulating the bizarre censorship standards of US network television. He pointed out the incongruity between showing violence, sexual situations, and other unpleasantness that wouldn't make it to the air in most countries, but at the same time censoring mundanities like toilets, pregnancy, and two-person beds, practices that lasted until even after the 1960s. Carlin was, of course, totally unencumbered by broadcasting standards and said the words out loud. As might be expected, Carlin's little list caused a furor from Moral Guardians, and when Pacifica Radio took a flier and broadcast the routine over the air, it caused a legal spat that went all the way up to the U.S. Supreme Court, which more or less punted and said that while the Seven Dirty Words aren't always unacceptable for broadcast, the FCC had the right to restrict broadcast content to prevent children from being exposed to it. The FCC doesn't have direct censorship power, but they do have the unilateral right to grant and revoke broadcast licenses for nebulous reasons, and they thus wield considerable power over the broadcasters. However, the FCC doesn't monitor the broadcasts on their own, but rather relies on the viewers and listeners to call in and complain if anything objectionable happens. This means that an American broadcaster can get away with anything as long as the audience doesn't object to it, leading to the long-standing American game of "try it and see if you get away with it." This is also how live events might let an accidental F-bomb slip through (although there's often a seven-second delay to catch those). There's also a dichotomy between the mainstream commercial networks (which are bound by the FCC), the "basic cable" networks (which can do what they like but are so universal that they follow FCC guidelines voluntarily), and the "premium cable" channels like HBO, who famously don't care about this sort of thing. So this means that although the Seven Dirty Words are uncommon on "mainstream" American TV, you might see them every now and then, especially as viewer standards change over time: Shit: Nowadays, you can say it on certain basic cable channels after 9pm. Over the air, NYPD Blue, a show long known for pushing boundaries, caused only a small furor when it announced that it would air the first uncensored instance of the word "shit" on network television (not that it stopped South Park from viciously mocking the idea). Piss: Carlin, later in life, pointed out that the acceptability of "piss" has turned into a question of whether or not it is an actual reference to urine — "I got pissed off" is far less likely to get bleeped than "I got pissed on". The first network broadcast to allow "piss" to mean "urinate" was Shogun. Fuck: Still a bad word and unlikely to be heard on the networks, but you might catch one in documentary-style broadcasts. The first such broadcast was the documentary Scared Straight, which aired in the mid-1970s and included several F-bombs. Cunt: This may be the only one of the seven which is more offensive now than when Carlin did the original routine. Not only is it forbidden on American network television, but the majority of Americans — and Canadians for that matter — avoid using it in conversation at all (even most vulgar comedians who have no problem using the other words on this list will usually refrain from using it in their routines unless they really want to push the envelope). If you do, and a woman is around, she will slap you and no one will blame her. Use of the word alone is considered evidence of sexual harassment in North America. It's that offensive. But across the pond, it's considered more acceptable. Cocksucker: Largely still banned, even though its constituent parts are okay; "suck" can be heard even in G-rated media (even in the pejorative sense), and "cock" is acceptable in a non-phallic sense (e.g. chickens, or preparing to fire a gun). Part of the problem is the extreme homophobic undertone of the word. The best place to see this in action is a non-HBO rebroadcast of Bull Durham, which has a scene that depends on the word. Motherfucker: See "fuck". A fan pointed out to Carlin that the word was redundant, and Carlin replied that he knew that, but removing it disrupted the rhythm of the piece. It's still generally considered more offensive than just "fuck"note This applies even outside of television. Feature films can get away with a few uses of "fuck" and remain PG-13 as long as it's not referring to sexual acts ("What the fuck are you doing?" vs. "I fucked my girlfriend"), but even a single use of "motherfucker" usually results an automatic R-rating regardless of context, with a notable exception being Big Game which received a PG-13 rating despite Samuel L. Jackson using the word which is considered his catchphrase; it is the only time Jackson has ever used the word in a film rated PG-13.; in Deadwood, for example, characters take great offense at the word, as they interpret it as a literal reference to incest. Tits/Titties: Like "piss", it's more acceptable now, but it still causes issues. Carlin described it as the least offensive of the words on his list. It's still controversial; its use in an episode of the 1980s sitcom The Trials Of Rosie O Neil caused an uproar, and it's rarely been heard on network TV since. Its acceptability may well be declining, as it's often considered a sexist term. "Titties" is considered to be somewhat less offensive than "tits", but is still rarely uttered outside of mature-rated shows and use of it in film will garner a PG-13 rating at minimum. Carlin's follow-up album Occupation: Foole features a redux of the Seven Dirty Words and augments it with three additional words: Fart: Like "tits", it's more of a "cute" word, and has become more widely used even in G-rated programming. Turd: You can't say it — but then again, who wants to? In any event, its use has also become more acceptable since Carlin cited it. Twat: Carlin pointed out that it's the only part of the sexual anatomy that doesn't have a double meaning. "Snatch", "box", "pussy", "balls", and "dong" (when used after "ding") can be used in a Disney movie if used properly, but there's no situation when you can get away with "twat". Ironically, later, twat did develop a second non-sexual meaning in British slang, essentially as a term for hitting something really hard: "Lets get out there and twat it." One word you might be looking for which Carlin never cited is "ass", and its derivative "asshole" — both were banned from U.S. network TV at the time of Carlin's recording, except when using "ass" to refer to the animal. That one's also improved since then; "ass" is now used regularly, and while "asshole" is still rare, it made its network debut on NYPD Blue and was heard quite frequently on that show. Not related to the Eight Deadly Words or the Seven Deadly Sins. |
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In Everybody Hates Chris, Chris hears his parents listen to the Carlin routine. He passes on the list at school to get laughs, but ends up in trouble for it. To get the story onto network TV, each word is replaced with its number in Carlin's list. The last line of the episode: "Number Threeeeee!" | |
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Metallica featured the following parody of a warning sticker on Master of Puppets: | |
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The title of Much Ado About Nothing has several intended meanings, including one which only makes sense when you know that in Shakespeare's time, "nothing" was a euphemism for women's parts. | |
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Bottom had several theatre shows in front of live audiences, and as crude and rude as the TV show was it did not compare to what they would get away with in the privacy of the auditorium. | |
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An episode of That '70s Show featured the gang listening to the routine. Eric went through the rest of the episode using the words' numbers to insult people. Donna (on Eric's suggestion) later tricks a rival radio DJ into playing the record on the air to get the other woman fired. Eric is also inconsistent on using the numbers correctly; sometimes he gets it right (e.g. "You think your one don't stink — well, three off, you threeing three!"), others don't make sense (e.g. You are one sixing, sevening monkey-fiver"), and still others only make sense if he's looking for a little tongue action (to Donna: "Now, let's go home and five all night."). | |
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The Simpsons: After Kent Brockman is fired for saying "a word so vile it should only be uttered by Satan himself while sitting on the toilet", Grandpa remarks that in his day, TV celebrities weren't allowed to say "booby", "tushy", "burp", "fanny-burp", "underpants", "dingle-dangle", "Boston marriage", "LBJ", "Titicaca", or "frontlumps". In "Bart the General", Grampa is seen writing a letter about "words that shouldn't be used on TV", one of which ("family jewels") turns out to be an example of Strange Minds Think Alike, as it was used a scene earlier. From the episode "Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington": In another episode, Krusty is banned from television for ten years for saying the word "pants" on the air during The '50s. "Pants" was once a dirty word, but in the 19th century, although Springfield is so behind the times that it may well have been naughty in the 1950s as well. Another episode addresses the original sketch: Kent Brockman in a (supposedly) live newscast: |
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Invoked on MythBusters, where they test the adage "You can't polish a turd" but can't use the words "turd" or "shit" more than twice (and Jamie immediately uses up the privilege). Adam rattles of a list of synonyms for "shit" that the producers will let them use. They made it a point to show how ridiculous the censorship was. | |
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Aqua Teen Hunger Force does this with "Gee Whiz". | |
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Hamlet also has a conversation about "nothing": | |
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Cracked: In 2008, Michael Swaim decided to make a list of "7 Words You Can't Say on the Internet without Starting a Flame War" as a tribute to George Carlin. The words were also referenced in the After Hours episode "Why Indiana Jones Secretly Sucks At His Job", in which, after referencing Carlin's role in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Swaim's character recites all seven of the words, much to the horror of everyone else at the table. The only one that wasn't bleeped was "tits." | |
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The Animaniacs song about Lake Titicaca ends with the Warners stating their love of saying that word... think about it for a minute, por favor. | |
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$#!+ My Dad Says put one of the words in the title itself, but censored it with Symbol Swearing. It's probably the only show on television whose proper title cannot be said on any of the stations on which it airs. It was usually referred to in advertising in "Bleep My Dad Says". Many viewers' DVR players refused to recognize the non-alphanumeric characters in the title, making it impossible to find (which may have been a factor in the show becoming a flop). | |
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Discworld gives us the Verbal Tic "——ing", which looks a lot like a censored "fucking" and is treated as such In-Universe, but is also apparently pronounced with dashes. Terry Pratchett once mentioned that he occasionally would get mail worried that children will start saying "——ing" as if it were a swear word, which goes to prove first that profanity is what you make of it, and second that there's nothing that someone out there won't take offense to. The word's first appearance in Mort says it all, when a couple of muggers realise their putative victim is a wizard: | |
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The Daily Show paid homage to the "Seven Dirty Words" sketch in a November 2014 segment and bleeped out six of them — but not "tits". | |
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Red Dwarf plays a curve-ball. While on the BBC, so they had to be a bit careful, they got great mileage out of using the word "Smeg" (derived from Smegma (basically dick-cheese)) as a catch-all substitute for fuck (Oh Smeg, smegger, smeg-head, smegging hell, etc.) They then proceed to use the word "twat" as a verb, as was in UK slang at the time, meaning to hit very hard. "Lets get out there and twat it") | |
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Used in The X-Files when most of one episode is presented as Scully's account of a case she and Mulder worked on. In her version of events, a foul-mouthed detective actually says "bleep". A lot. | |
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In Gulliver's Travels, a paragraph in Part III, Chapter VI describes the "decoding" of letters and papers to "prove" their authors guilty of plotting against the state. This process consists of replacing one noun with a related one ("...they can decypher a Close-stool to signify a Privy-Council; a Flock of Geese, a Senate..."). One of the substitutions is to replace "a Sink" with "a C—-t" — censored thus, or replaced with "court", in most printings, but the intended word is fairly obvious. | |
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On The Colbert Report Stephen did a segment on Carlin's death where he mistakes the list for a list of words Carlin himself had banned from the airwaves. After he thanks Carlin, an off-screen man tells Stephen that he was a stand-up who used that list to mock censorship. Stephen then turns to a photo of Carlin and calls him a motherf*beep*er. | |
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The Simpsons comic book in one issue showed a weary George Carlin talking about "The Seven Words You Used to Not Be Able to Say on TV But Are Perfectly All Right Now." | |
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From Twelfth Night: | |
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On 30 Rock, Tracy Jordan, ever a beneficiary of the maxim that rules don't apply to rich people, decides to exploit the fact that he could easily pay the $50,000 fine for every time he swears on TV: | |
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In Dan Simmons' Hyperion Cantos, Martin Silenus suffers brain damage that reduces his vocabulary to the Seven Dirty Words. He manages to communicate with them quite effectively. He eventually gets better. | |
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The Recess episode "The Story of 'Whomps'" deals with a made-up word ("Whomps") which is deemed offensive by the adults. | |
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In the episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 involving the film The Magic Sword, before reading the fan letter, there's a brief conversation about naughty words inspired by the film's seven curses. The crew suggests dirty words which you can say on television, among them "hinder", "booger", "poopie", "kaka", and "dingaling". Recurring catchphrase "dickweed" was probably the most offensive. | |
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In one episode of The Two Ronnies, a pub puts up a Swear Jar to raise money for the church, and all of the words on the list are censored by bleeps, klaxons, and other sound effects. One of them, worth a whole pound rather than 20p, is given a much louder whooping noise. | |
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Have I Got News for You made the episode "Have I Got Unbroadcastable News for You" exclusively for home video, and the producer decides to point out some words not to mention in the recording: | |
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Amazingly, Regular Show managed to get away with saying "pissed" multiple times, despite being on Cartoon Network.note Though in all fairness, it is rated TV-PG and was aired at primetime. They eventually caught on and censored it. | |
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In Moral Orel, Frances Clara Censordoll's name and character are a Take That! at the FCC. She is a selfish Manipulative Bastard Moral Guardian with a god complex. | |
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The Angry Video Game Nerd, during his review of Action 52, exclaims that "Whoever came up with this game is an asshole!" and then follows up immediately with the "TV Version": | |
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In Bruce Almighty, Bruce is trying to convince his ex to come back to him, and has the following conversation: | |
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The SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Sailor Mouth" plays with the trope a lot, with a set of dirty words that are all censored by different sound effects, which means that the real sound effects (e.g. a dolphin cackling, an old car horn) are mistaken for dirty words. | |
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Seven Dirty Words | |
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Epic Rap Battles of History: A Season 6 battle features George Carlin, who acknowledges that he's in an Internet video, meaning he can use all of them. And he does. | |
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Seven Dirty Words | |
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In Monty Python's Flying Circus, Michael Palin shows up with a set of slides showing words that can no longer be used on the program, all of them censored: B*m, B*tty, P*x, Kn*ckersnote Knickers, Kn*ckersnote Knockers, W**-W**, and Semprini. | |
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The chorus of Aerosmith's "Just Push Play" has the phrase "fuckin' A" deliberately muted, the next line rationalizing that "they're gonna bleep it anyway". Subverted in the last verse, where "fuckin' A" is untouched, but "bleep" is censored. Double Subverted when it was released as a single with a completely rewritten chorus, with no "fuckin' A", censored or not. | |
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South Park has never been afraid to push the envelope, and it's not on a network where naughty words are censored, but rival show Family Guy found where the absolute line is: portraying Muhammad. This led to the episode "Cartoon Wars", lampooning the whole controversy and ending up being censored — even though Muhammad wasn't mentioned, An Aesop about intimidation and fear is apparently not cool, but a mentally handicapped kid getting raped by a shark is okay. Then came "200", which portrayed Muhammad in a bear costume, which also got complaints. | |
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The Family Guy episode "PTV" blasts the FCC with both barrels, portraying them as going so far as to censor real life. | |
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