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Subterfuge Judo

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Subterfuge is when a true intention is hidden by another reason or action; though, two parties may each have an intention they want to see through to completion. The opposing party to those serving the imposition, of course, want to prevent that or somehow get them off their back. They can't just say no or yes, though, depending on what the other wants, because things could get messy.
Much like Politeness Judo, where one of the two parties will politely trick the other into doing something they don't want to, this is Subterfuge Judo, where this can go one of two ways:
Scenario 1: Simply put, Party 1 (Imposer) and Party 2 (Imposee) are both aware of each others' plans. Each one will try to use politeness in some strategic fashion, similar to striking blows and defenses in a martial arts match, in an attempt to gain control of the situation or back out. Party 1 will usually use some insistence to keep themselves in the argument or force their will on the other.
Scenario 2: Same as Scenario 1, but this time, Party 1 is not aware, partially or fully, of Party 2's plan to divert/back out, and is instead working on instinct or from customs they have learned.
The two parties' intentions may not necessarily be polite, but neither side wants to be so blunt about rejecting, such that the situation gets out of hand, because they may lose control, their (the imposer's) only chance to get what they want, or (for those who are being imposed-on) someone could get hurt or killed.
In short, it's a "Through gritted teeth, one of us will have our way, and neither of us are backing down" situation.
If one side is especially sensitive, and they realize that the other is performing Subterfuge Judo to get out of their control (or attempt to defuse the situation), it may serve to anger the imposer, drop the polite act altogether, and make a mountain out of a molehill.
Other times, one person will be too stubborn to even inflict Subterfuge Judo on, set on a one-track mind, just because they can, or just because they have leverage that they wouldn't have otherwise.
Rarely, the knowledge involved will be one sided, because the first party is trying to prevent the second party from finding or discovering something that puts the first in a bad light, and the second brushes the first's reasoning off as no big deal. (for example, the first party is trying to hide the fact that they broke something valuable to the second, and yet the second party continues, or insists, on getting closer and closer to a possible action or place, where they will discover it.)
Compare Politeness Judo, where it's this trope, but is more-or-less one-sided. Also Compare That Wasn't a Request or Euphemism Buster, where, again, one side will just dispense altogether with the pleasantries. (Sometimes either or even both tropes will even be entangled with the Judo) See Comically Missing the Point when one of them doesn't follow the thread of conflict between the two parties, and Dramatically Missing the Point, where the person may similarly (and vocally) ignore any attempts at subterfuge. If one party's Subterfuge Judo is good enough, it may back the other party into a corner such that there is no escape. If such, or if the situation is that desperate, the party who is on the worse receiving end of the imposition may be Ain't Too Proud to Beg.
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Happy Days, "Kiss Me, Teach": Joanie gets in a bit too over her head when a burly student gets clingy with her at a run-down public school. She tries to use her authority as a teacher to get the student to back off, escalating further and further into anger, but the student doesn't get the hint as he closes and locks the classroom door, and also closes the window blinds. Tension mounts as he approaches her, then finally forces himself upon her. It's only with the timely arrival of Fonzie that the student finally gets the idea, and throws himself out of the (non-ground-floor) window in fear.
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RoboCop (1987): A case of Scenario 1: Emil Antonowsky, one of crime-lord Clarence Boddicker's cronies, robs a gas station one night, as well as forces the the innocent station clerk at gunpoint, who was doing his math homework, to give him free gasoline for his motorcycle. Emil starts to get a bit trigger-happy, looking for an excuse to shoot, as he's talking to the clerk, but the clerk doesn't say anything, to try to prevent agitating him. It doesn't work. Fortunately, RoboCop arrives just in time before Emil can get off a shot.
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The Simpsons: A small, short example in the episode "Bart of Darkness" note ("CanWeHaveAPoolDad? CanWeHaveAPoolDad? CanWeHaveAPoolDad? CanWeHaveAPoolDad?"): a heat wave strikes Springfield, and the Simpsons get a new pool, attracting kids and people from all over the neighborhood, simply because they have one, and not because anyone knows them. Bart breaks his leg after falling from the treehouse, while preparing to jump into the pool. While he's healing, he tries to get the other kids to sign his cast; all of which completely ignore him for the pool. Milhouse is the last one to pass by, trying to sneak past, but Bart notices him.
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The Orville, "From Unknown Graves'': A case of Scenario 2: The Orville crew is hosting a negotiation with a strictly-matriarchal society, the Janisi, where males are treated as second-class citizens. This goes against the Planetary Union's cultural views, but with the Kaylon threat and the failure to ally with the Krill, they need all the help they can get. The Orville crew upholds an act to make it seem as though their male crew members are not authoritative, later planning to ease them into the idea of gender equality. Unfortunately, the talks break down when one of the Janisi delegates gets clingy with Ed. To prevent a non-consensual situation, Kelly tries to use her authority to absolve all responsibility (i.e. She doesn't have the authority to let him go.), Claire tries to claim that men are not commodity objects, and Gordon tries to go in Ed's place, but each time the delegate is insistent and will not let up. When the delegation demands to know why the crewwomen are being seemingly hypocritical, the crew is forced to reveal the masquerade ahead of schedule, angering the delegation.
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King of the Hill:
"The Substitute Spanish Prisoner": A case of Scenario 1: When Peggy gets a bit too full of herself after taking an online IQ test to restore her confidence, she gets involved in a seminar, where she gains a PhD. Unfortunately, the seminar presenter, Dr. Robert Vayzosa, is a con artist, and has taken the Hill's retirement money, along with the other seminar attendees, and the PhD she got from the seminar is a phony. Peggy, along with the attendees, set up a false horse-racing ring scam to try to retrieve their stolen money (with some of the attendees in another room, acting as if they're at the local racetrack), and invite Vayzosa. Everything seems to be going well, and Vayzosa seems to be winning more and more money, until he suddenly decides to cordially cash out. Peggy tries her best to convince Vayzosa to stay (so his final bet makes him lose all of the money), but as he reveals later, he knew the whole setup was fake, and he leaves with the cash anyway. However, Vayzosa loses the money when he puts it into a closet safe that he thinks belongs to the hotel, that Peggy and Boomhauer abscond with, when he closes the closet door and is distracted by Hank confronting him.
"The Son Also Roses": Bobby gets into rose-growing, which Hank reluctantly helps him with, and eventually they get the idea to start entering into an official rose-presenting competition. Unfortunately, these competitions are very demanding and cutthroat in terms of precision, perfection and presentation, and on the day of the competition, as they are taking their rose out of its container for presentation, Bobby accidentally tips it over and bruises it slightly on the table. Worried about losing points for this mistake, they attempt to salvage the look, up until the (very up-tight and snooty) judge comes over to assess their rose. The judge notices that they had cut off a petal for a salvage attempt, when in actuality their rose was perfect, and deducts points. Hank and Bobby try to convince the judge that what is an imperfection actually adds to the look (mentioned earlier in the episode as "wabi-sabi"). The judge is steadfastly not convinced, bluntly demeans their effort, and awards the top prize to another individual.
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Star Trek (2009): Played-with, using "Insult Judo", mixed with Stealth Insult! Spock is admitted to the Vulcan Science Academy, but the Academy council backhandedly insults his mother, Amanda, claiming she is a disadvantage. Spock, in that moment, decides to join Starfleet instead, shocking the council, who in-turn claim that no Vulcan has ever turned-down admission. Spock then shoots back, stealthily, that since he's half-human, their record remains untarnished, and with a hint of contempt in his voice...:
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Stargate SG-1, "Secrets": A case of Scenario 1: When Carter and O'Neil are set to be awarded for their actions during "Into The Serpent's Lair" (stopping Apophis' attack on Earth), O'Neil discovers that a civilian, a news reporter, has classified knowledge about the Stargate Program and the truth about the aforementioned attack that was thwarted, and is set to release it to the world. O'Neil tries his hardest (and with his best poker face, without bluntly saying "no") to explain away anything that sounds like it's not of this planet (e.g. instead of the Stargate being a transport device to other planets in the Milky Way galaxy, anything having to do with "Galaxy" is the code name for a prototype aircraft). The news reporter, though, is too stubborn and too cocky to believe a word that Jack says, and still decides to publish the information anyways. He would have, except immediately after deciding to do so, he's run down and killed (seemingly and completely on accident) in front of O'Neil, making the point academic.
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The Ten Commandments (1956): A case of Scenario 1: The slimy-in-personality master builder Baka (played by the classical Vincent Price, no less!) takes Lilia, one of the Hebrew slave servants, from the brick-producing mud pits of the Hebrew slaves, to be his courtesan. She tries to push away his advances, but being of lower class than the Egyptians, she is unable to convince him to let her be, as Baka stealthily counters her every reason why she should not go with him. Joshua, the protagonist master stonecutter, is in love with her too, but Lilia, thankfully, only has the heart for Joshua.
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Steven Universe, "Message Received": A case of Scenario 2: Peridot, having been stranded on Earth since "Jail Break", reveals a plan that her homeworld had planned since the end of the Gem War: the Cluster; a gargantuan collection of shattered Gems, incubated to form into a giant gem-super-being, and set to destroy Earth upon generating. Meanwhile, as the Crystal Gems form a counter-plan to destroy it, Peridot acclimates to Earth's environment, culture, and customs, somewhat... When they go to a Gem moonbase on the Moon to gain a crucial piece of information for the counter-plan, Peridot secretly swipes a Diamond communicator. After a bit of rough-and-tumble to stop her from contacting her superiors, the Great Diamond Authority, she succeeds anyways. However, her plan is not to betray the Crystal Gems, but instead to convince her superior, Yellow Diamond, to halt formation of the Cluster. Peridot tries to use the excuse of resources that the Gem Empire could use, but in no uncertain terms, Yellow Diamond spells it out for her:
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Star Trek: The Original Series, "Patterns of Force": A case of Scenario 2: A planet, Ekos, is revealed to have taken on the mindset of Nazism, from the Federation historian who was sent to investigate it, who has taken the reins as the Führer of the planet. (although the original plan of cold order without murder and prejudice was hijacked by another.) When Kirk and Spock beam down, they steal some SS uniforms, and intend to waltz right into the Chancellery (Main Headquarters) undercover, except Spock and Kirk do not salute an SS Major properly, and...:
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The Sound of Music: A case of Scenario 1: By the last quarter of the film, Austria has just been annexed by Nazi Germany by the Anschlüss, and one of Max Detwieler's former friends, Hans Zeller, has been made Gauleiter (3rd in rank below the supreme title of Führer). When Georg von Trapp is forcibly recruited to be in the German Navy, he makes a plan to smuggle his family out of Austria under the cover of night. Unfortunately, Zeller and the rest of the occupation anticipated their plan, where they catch the von Trapp family pushing their car out of their driveway hoping to make a quiet escape. Georg makes a few excuses (such as their car seemingly having starting trouble, and not needing an escort), but Zeller won't have it (although he's just as polite as Georg), insisting on an escort. It's only when Georg covers for their story by mentioning that they were off to perform in the singing competition, and they are escorted there, that the von Trapp family are able to make a getaway after they have performed.
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Doctor Who:
"Carnival of Monsters": Vorg and Shirna, two carnival swindlers, attempt to escape from Inter Minor this way when their Miniscope (in essence, a micro zoo of shrunken living creatures and beings) starts to break down. Unfortunately, one of the creatures, a Drashig (a worm-like carnivore), starts to attempt to bust out of the system. The pair are caught, as they attempt to leave on their own accord to another station, by the Chairman of the Minorian Tribunal. Vorg tries to brush off one of the Minorians insistence on choosing a transport for them, until the Chairman finally and bluntly orders them to remain in the arrival station, by pointing an energy weapon at the two.
"The Time Warrior": A case of Scenario 2: Linx, a Sontaran, has crash-landed on Earth in the Middle Ages, and has abducted several scientists from the 20th century to not only repair his spacecraft, but also provide weapons for Baron Irongron, one of which is a self-contained robotic suit of armor. Later, when the Doctor starts to put in-place a plan to rescue the scientists, he decides to use a second revision of the armor as a distraction. The Doctor, under the guise of an artificially-intelligent/voiced version, had planned to go into the main chambers of the castle and quickly leave, but as the Doctor tries to make up excuses on why he must leave, Irongron is insistent on the "robot" staying, to test how strong it is, and its fighting prowess. Unfortunately, this means Irongron is hot to up the ante in his own favor. The Doctor is only too happy to provide some snark about how Irongron is taking it too far, blowing his cover. However, this isn't as bad as it sounds:
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Star Trek: Voyager:
"Future's End": A case of Scenario 2: Rain Robinson (Sarah Silverman), employee of corrupt capitalist Henry Starlingnote who has already stolen and profited-off a 29th-century time shuttle's technology, downloaded a large portion of Voyager's main database, including the EMH, and is now planning to go forward in time to the 29th Century, which, because the time shuttle is not configured properly, will cause a cataclysmic explosion in our entire solar system. (Ed Begley, Jr.), tries, with Tuvok and Lt. Paris, to lure him to a business plaza somewhere in Los Angeles. Starling takes the bait, coming to "rescue" her, and bringing the now-mobile EMH. Rain tries to get Starling into her vannote (so Chakotay and B'Elanna can beam him up in one of Voyager's shuttlecraft), but Starling seemingly is suspicious, as he twice insists taking his limousine instead, forcing Paris and Tuvok, hiding somewhere in the plaza, to quickly change their plan:
"Dark Frontier": Seven of Nine willingly rejoins the Borg Collective (but still as an individual) to spare Voyager from being assimilated (under threat from the Borg Queen) after successfully obtaining a transwarp core (an engine core that allows Borg cubes to travel much faster than Starfleet ships). During an assimilation of an entire species in-progress, Seven is tasked with Borg duties, and she finds three frightened aliens watching one of their own being assimilated. She disables the drone performing the assimilation, and beams them to a damaged, but still-operable ship somewhere in the debris field from the fight against the Borg. The Queen later congratulates Seven for her help, but detects the aliens in their escape and asks for her advice. Seven tries to coolly sweep the issue under the rug by claiming that it would be a waste of the Collective's resources to capture just four individuals. However, the Borg Queen will not have it and turns up the heat. To her, if four individuals escape, then the species as it is is not completely assimilated and subjugated; she coldly orders the ship tractored. Seven tries to plead with the Queen, but she comes back with false sympathy that this is a harsh lesson that she needs to learn. However, she relents, surprisingly, a few seconds later.
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Housepets!: A case of Scenario 2: In the "Not All Dogs" story arc, King, an anthropomorphic corgi (actually a transformed human named Joel Robinson), happens to come across his own fate energy (mana) when a character in Heaven drops it, and it falls toward Earth, onto his head, transforming into a sports stopwatch. King doesn't think much of the fate stopwatch that falls from the sky onto his head and throws it into a dumpster, until Sabrina reveals that the watch is important to his very existence. Desperately going back, he can't find it; later, with Fox, King finds that Bino found the watch and is keeping it for himself. When King tries to demand it back here, saying that it doesn't have Bino's name on it, the latter says "Then let's see, who is this Joel person?" — at which point Fox perks up in fear, while King grits his teeth in frustration. Fox later changes his mind and stands his ground about Bino keeping the watch here, during which time King pleads to have it.
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Battlefield Earth: Extraterrestrials known as Psychlos have taken over Earth and enslaved what's left of its population. Terl is one of the main overseers, and seems to not like his job here on Earth:
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Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Yesterday's Enterprise": A small, but notable instance. When the Enterprise encounters a temporal rift in the space-time continuum, history suddenly shifts when the Enterprise-C, an earlier counterpart to TNG's Enterprise, emerges. The Enterprise-D is now a battleship, its climate is more military, certain characters are missing or resurrected, and the Federation is at war with the Klingons, and losing. When the D crew discovers what the C really is, they try their best to keep the truth that the C crew have travelled into the future vague or secret. note Captain Picard does not specify the Enterprise-D as such in their first communication, and the D crew deflects all questions about discrepancies. Unfortunately, upon arrival on the C Dr. Crusher accidentally lets slip that they need to get Captain Garrett of the C back to the Enterprise(-D). Garrett is taken to sickbay to be treated, and she notices how advanced it is, even for a starbase. Dr. Crusher tries to calm her down with her bedside manner, but Garrett insists on an explanation, forcing Picard to reveal that the C crew have traveled 22 years into the future.
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