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Three Bean Salad (Podcast)
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) | |
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Three Bean Salad is a British comedy chat podcast that started in 2021. Each week, the three beans tackle a different theme suggested by the listening audience.The beans are Mike Wozniak (of Taskmaster fame), semi-decent cartoonist Henry Paker, and Benjamin Partridge (host of the Beef And Dairy Network Podcast).The chat is interspersed with jingles by Ben, which mark recurring segments (like listener emails) or topics (like America and flightless birds).Each episode ends with a different listener-submitted cover of the theme tune. Sometimes the jingles are replaced by listener covers as well. | |
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2023-08-11T16:30:51Z | |
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2023-08-11T16:30:51Z | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_112890b3 | type |
Secret Identity | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_112890b3 | comment |
Secret Identity: Ben's evil persona (or possibly Evil Doppelgänger) is named Bonjamin. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_1608297f | type |
Secret Word | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_1608297f | comment |
Secret Word: Listeners have successfully (and unsuccessfully) used the word 'Pompidou' to identify each other in the wild. It's also been used to unlock various real-world discounts, most notably at the Soup Dragon Cafe in Scotland. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_2969dda7 | type |
Nightmare Fetishist | |
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Nightmare Fetishist: In the Submarines episode: | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_2c1871ee | type |
Shining City | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_2c1871ee | comment |
Shining City: Henry's depiction of his hometown, London, as marked by the Glamorous London Life of Henry Paker jingle. See also Britain Is Only London and Suburbia. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_2f435126 | type |
America Is Still a Colony | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_2f435126 | comment |
Bluebell is extremely politically conservative and believes that America Is Still a Colony. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_40c57041 | type |
Manipulative Bastard | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_40c57041 | comment |
Manipulative Bastard: Sperbs, an enigmatic listener who only emerges from the shadows to subject the beans to backhanded compliments and mind games. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_42839f8b | type |
Sound-Effect Bleep | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_42839f8b | comment |
Sound-Effect Bleep: Notably used to bleep out the names of famous people that the beans happen to encounter in questionable circumstances, such as the celebrity that ruined a Paul Simon gig for Ben by talking all the way through it, and a different celebrity that Henry saw pissing in a car park. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_453a1f74 | type |
Witty Banter | |
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Witty Banter: Consistently served lukewarm, as per the page quote. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_504a1991 | type |
Body Horror | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_504a1991 | comment |
Body Horror: As discussed in horrifying detail in several episodes, being one with the bean machine (see Man in the Machine) is extremely gruesome, painful and debilitating for Ben. It's all Played for Laughs, of course. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_58e43f17 | type |
Cats Are Mean | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_58e43f17 | comment |
Cats Are Mean: Zigzagged. Henry's cat Bluebell has her own jingle, which describes her as 'soft and gentle and wise and kind,' but also warns she will 'swipe off the faces of our enemies' and 'toy with the corpses of anyone who defies our galactic rule.' The backing vocals ('she's a cat') have also been interpreted by some as 'she's a cunt.' In the extended version, she brings down an evil galactic dictator and gains the ability to speak English. Then she argues with Henry over the food he gives her. Then she tries to find out what love is. It's a long jingle. Bluebell is extremely politically conservative and believes that America Is Still a Colony. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_5973fab5 | type |
Does Not Like Spam | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_5973fab5 | comment |
Does Not Like Spam: Contrary to the prevailing national stereotype, Ben has an almost pathological dislike of tea. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_60df53e2 | type |
Suburbia | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_60df53e2 | comment |
Suburbia: Contrasted with the Shining City in the Board Games episode. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_672f15c6 | type |
Mad Lib Thriller Title | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_672f15c6 | comment |
Mad Lib Thriller Title: Discussed in the Spies episode: Short Title: Long, Elaborate Subtitle: After some discussion, the title Henry ultimately pitches is Smolensk Rising: Unearthing the Original, Previously Unseen Nazi Attaché Briefs. | |
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Standard '50s Father | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_6e429ce0 | comment |
Standard '50s Father: Mike plays up to this character. It even has its own jingle, Provincial Dad Chat. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_74c7bf4e | type |
Forced Meme | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_74c7bf4e | comment |
Forced Meme: Attempting to get 'you can't sit on your own arse' to take off as an expression, despite a lack of consensus on what it means. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_75979171 | type |
The Cuckoolander Was Right | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_75979171 | comment |
The Cuckoolander Was Right: When Henry uses the word 'peregrinate' (in the Exercise episode), Ben and Mike laugh, assuming he’s just made it up. To everyone's surprise (including Henry's), they later discover that not only is it a real word, but Henry even used it correctly. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_77cdb390 | type |
Man in the Machine | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_77cdb390 | comment |
Man in the Machine: Ben's body is fully integrated into the bean machine, the device that selects the topics for discussion each episode. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_7a265daa | type |
Eagleland | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_7a265daa | comment |
Eagleland: The America jingle is a bombastic avalanche of played-for-laughs American stereotypes. It ends with Ben simply saying the word 'burgers.' | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_82518cf7 | type |
Motor Mouth | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_82518cf7 | comment |
Motor Mouth: According to some listeners' observations, Henry talks more than the other two beans combined. | |
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Helpless with Laughter | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_8cf3fc5 | comment |
Helpless with Laughter: Ben attempting to relay the story of the £85 Grinch. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_943f7a7e | type |
Wiki Walk | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_943f7a7e | comment |
Wiki Walk: It's not unusual for an episode to be taken over by lengthy tangents that have nothing to do with the listener-submitted topic. In the Glass episode, Ben reasonably kicks off the topic by noting that Mike is the only bean who doesn't wear glasses. This sets off a chain of events leading to a long and involved discussion of autocratic dictators and their celebrity friends. | |
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Mood Whiplash | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_a4c37cbe | comment |
Mood Whiplash: The Patreon jingle is eerie, ominous and Stygian ("It's time... to pay the ferryman..."). The first time Ben played it for the other beans (in the Exercise episode), they were audibly taken aback. As Ben noted, the 2021 and 2022 live shows both had very high-energy openings, followed by their normal low-energy content. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_abe0f934 | type |
Dissimile | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_abe0f934 | comment |
Dissimile: In the Teeth episode, Henry describes his encounter with a sausage as tall as a man (that would come up to somewhere above his pelvis). | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_ae43d443 | type |
Soap Within a Show | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_ae43d443 | comment |
Soap Within a Show: After receiving an email from a listener in Diamond Harbour, New Zealand, the beans reminisce about the non-existent long-running soap opera of the same name. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_b035720c | type |
Toxic, Inc. | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_b035720c | comment |
Toxic, Inc.: Though the bean machine's only apparent purpose is to randomly select one of the listener-submitted topics, each use warms the planet by three degrees. | |
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Toilet Humour | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_b41c411e | comment |
Toilet Humour: As marked by the Digestive Tract Talk jingle. For example, Henry's story from the 2022 live show about taking a dump in a 'cat lat' on a school trip. Discussed in the Asteroids episode: | |
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Feathered Fiend | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_b42e16fb | comment |
Feathered Fiend: Mostly rheas and cassowaries, as marked by the Flightless Bird Zone jingle. | |
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Baldness Angst | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_b7ecc7c8 | comment |
Baldness Angst: Played for laughs by Henry, who tries and fails to explain his approach to baldness by comparing his head to a room made of ham. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_bc74ef27 | type |
Berserk Button | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_bc74ef27 | comment |
Berserk Button: Henry hates people talking boringly about guitars. Mike and Ben love talking boringly about guitars. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_c2145582 | type |
Short Title: Long, Elaborate Subtitle | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_c2145582 | comment |
Short Title: Long, Elaborate Subtitle: After some discussion, the title Henry ultimately pitches is Smolensk Rising: Unearthing the Original, Previously Unseen Nazi Attaché Briefs. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_c5f0119c | type |
Insane Troll Logic | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_c5f0119c | comment |
Insane Troll Logic: Constantly played for laughs. How to wash 'chicken leather'? Well, when they're alive, chickens take dirt baths. So simply put it in the washing machine with a handful of dirt. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_caa28b82 | type |
Cloudcuckoolander | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_caa28b82 | comment |
Cloudcuckoolander: Henry tells long, rambling stories which don't go anywhere, has surprising blind spots (like not being able to remember the difference between Celsius and Fahrenheit), and often has no idea what's going on. He has been accused by the other beans of either not paying attention or simply deleting information as he goes. The Cuckoolander Was Right: When Henry uses the word 'peregrinate' (in the Exercise episode), Ben and Mike laugh, assuming he’s just made it up. To everyone's surprise (including Henry's), they later discover that not only is it a real word, but Henry even used it correctly. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_cbe3d017 | type |
Damned by Faint Praise | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_cbe3d017 | comment |
Damned by Faint Praise: A favourite tactic of Sperbs (see Manipulative Bastard). In his first email he described the show as 'mildly funny.' | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_e567510d | type |
Determinator | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_e567510d | comment |
Determinator: Henry 'Die on Any Hill' Paker will not be corrected, even when he's objectively in the wrong. In S4 E1 Dinosaurs, after being informed for the second time that octopuses have beaks: | |
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Britain Is Only London | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_ea44cd34 | comment |
See also Britain Is Only London and Suburbia. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_f9f2c33 | type |
Running Gag | |
Three Bean Salad (Podcast) / int_f9f2c33 | comment |
Running Gag We will all become crabs. Ring the crab bell. Owlfuckerz, Henry's other (much more popular) podcast. | |
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Three Bean Salad (Podcast) |
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