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372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast)
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372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) | |
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ThreeHundredSeventyTwoPagesWellNeverGetBack | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) | comment |
372 Pages We'll Never Get Back is a podcast where Mike Nelson and Conor Lastowka, both writers on RiffTrax, read books they're probably not going to like.Thus far, the podcast has covered the following books: Ready Player One by Ernest Cline Armada by Ernest Cline The Eye of Argon by Jim Theis TekWar by William Shatner, ghostwritten by Ron Goulart The Forensic Certified Public Accountant and the Cremated 64-SQUARES Financial Statements by Dwight David Thrash Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff by Sean Penn The Mister by E. L. James Trucking Through Time by Charles E. Harris The Lair of the White Worm by Bram Stoker Shadow Moon by George Lucas and Chris Claremont Moon People by Dale M. Courtney Digital Fortress by Dan Brown My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie Midnight Sun (2020) by Stephenie Meyer Ready Player Two by Ernest Cline The Quilters Push Back by Mary Devlin Lynch, Debbie Devlin Zook and Beth Devlin-Keune Modelland by Tyra Banks Irene Iddesleigh by Amanda McKittrick Ros Antigua: The Land of Fairies, Wizards and Heroes (Part 1) by Denise Brown Ellis and Larry Ellis Gump and Co. by Winston Groom Super Constitution by Charles Kim Murder in Christmas River: A Christmas Cozy Mystery by Meg Muldoon Edison's Conquest of Mars by Garrett P. Serviss Artemis by Andy Weir The Starlight Barking by Dodie Smithnote A sequel to The Hundred and One Dalmatians | |
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2023-11-09T15:15:26Z | |
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2023-11-09T15:15:26Z | |
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Dropped link to Armada: Not a Feature - ITEM | |
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Dropped link to CallBack: Not a Feature - ITEM | |
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Dropped link to Modelland: Not a Feature - ITEM | |
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Artifact Title | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_2b7d29e1 | comment |
Artifact Title: The title refers to the number of pages in their copy of Ready Player One, the first book they covered. Later books would have more or fewer pages. The segment Real or Fanfic originally had passages from actual Ready Player One fanfiction to illustrate how the prose was indistinguishable. As later books covered became increasingly obscure, they instead solicited submissions from readers intentionally attempting to mimic the given book's style. | |
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Zeerust | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_393ec3f9 | comment |
Zeerust: They get a lot of mileage out of TekWar's cover blurb about being "gleaming with insight" into the future. Most of it amounts to this, either in lazy form (just slapping "plas-" or "Sector" onto random words) or insufficiently-advanced seeming technology (such as robots having chest-mounted inkjet printers). | |
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Poe's Law | |
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Poe's Law: The premise behind the Real or Fanfic segments. | |
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Blatant Lies | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_40bb59d0 | comment |
Blatant Lies: Every episode the hosts pretend they have unearthed some artifact from the "dark web" that includes deleted scenes, recorded conversations between the author and their editor or agent, and dramatisations of the book, but are really comedy skits with Mike and Conor playing the parts. | |
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Stylistic Suck | |
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Stylistic Suck: Many of their parodies are designed around invoking what they mock in the books they do. | |
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We Didn't Start the Billy Joel Parodies | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_417a447e | comment |
We Didn't Start the Billy Joel Parodies: The end of the Ready Player One review has a song called "1980s Reference!" that summarizes the plot of the book. | |
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Wham Line | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_4e7c4536 | comment |
Wham Line: Some of the lines in books just knock them for a loop. Ready Player Two: Sorry I copied your wife. | |
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Fake-Out Opening | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_50f17484 | comment |
Fake-Out Opening: In episode 66, Mike has finally had enough of slogging through the grim prose of Shadow Moon and bunks off, revealing he has paid his niece Caitlin $150 to read that week's chapters and fill in for him. She staggers through the opening, drowsy and spluttering as she's recovering from dental surgery, shows absolutely no interest in the book or the podcast, and can't even stay on topic. By this point, we're 10 minutes into the episode and it's turning into a complete train-wreck, until finally Caitlin walks out, leaving a sheepish Mike to come back and resume the podcast. He takes a break to read that week's section of the book, the theme music plays again and the episode starts afresh. | |
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Purple Prose | |
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Conor issues a firm "settle down" to something which is overwrought, too cute by half, or just a bit extra. | |
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Too Bleak, Stopped Caring | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_7775d0a5 | comment |
Too Bleak, Stopped Caringinvoked: Discussed in regards to Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff, in which every character is a despicable, grotesque and hateful weirdo; and the "plot" (insofar as it exists beyond word salad and Sean Penn ranting about his strange political views) is a parade of pointless violence, bizarre sex, and recent atrocities (Hurricane Katrina, Afghanistan War, 9/11, etc). They point out that the book is intended as a Black Comedy, but none of the jokes are actually funny and mostly just stupid if not themselves repulsive, which only adds to the malaise. | |
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What Happened to the Mouse? | |
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What Happened to the Mouse?: The Mister was mocked for bringing up Alessia's fellow Albanian sex trafficking victims, one of whom was named Bleriana, without explaining if they were rescued or not by the end. As a result, any time a plot thread gets dropped in a book it is said to have been "Bleriana'd" as a Call-Back. (Bleriana evidently does get mentioned in the sequel The Missus, however, so the name may become somewhat misleading.) | |
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This Is Reality | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_9d3b4703 | comment |
This Is Reality: A lot of their jokes are based around what would be the actual consequences of events. A Running Gag with Ready Player One and Ready Player Two that the world is a Crapsack World on the verge of collapse (as mentioned by the text) but the characters are distinctly unconcerned about it. | |
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This Is Gonna Suck | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_9dfb8296 | comment |
This Is Gonna Suck: This frequently occurs in the podcast, given the type of material they're reading. Whenever they do "Fanfiction Or Real", they'll usually groan whenever realizing a particularly bad passage came from a future chapter of the book they're reading. The opening episode of the Armada season is a notable example of this. Especially for Mike when he realizes that the book they're about to read is even more reference-heavy and poorly-written than Ready Player One. | |
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Accentuate the Negative | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_a70f9aba | comment |
Accentuate the Negative: Normally the point of the podcast, though the hosts do (very) occasionally find praise for aspects of the books they enjoyed. | |
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Caustic Critic | |
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Caustic Critic: Conor and Mike both give a no-holds-barred beatdown of the books they review. | |
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Squick | |
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"Grandpa, no!", in response to any uncharacteristically sexual or violent scenes, particularly in the outsider-authored books. Originated in their read-through of Trucking Through Time, which had been a relatively genteel Wild West time-travel fantasy up to the point where a character is graphically scalped, dismembered, and the severed organ thrown into a fire. | |
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Dull Surprise | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_c1b2c63f | comment |
Dull Surprise: A frequent comment on books that characters react with far less emotion than events would warrant. Ready Player Two has the Running Gag of them commenting that half a billion people are going to die horribly in less than 12 hours while the characters goof off throughout their quest. | |
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Portmanteau Couple Name | |
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Portmanteau Couple Name: invoked Done for celebrity authors and their ghost-writers in Tek War and Shadow Moon. William Shatner and Ron Goulart becomes "Shatlart", whereas George Lucas and Chris Claremont are "Clucas". | |
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Self-Deprecation | |
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Self-Deprecation: Sometimes they pause and point out many of these books are wildly successful and way more read than their podcast criticizing it will ever be. | |
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Once per Episode | |
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Once per Episode: Conor issues a firm "settle down" to something which is overwrought, too cute by half, or just a bit extra. Conor has to complete a "sonic challenge", imitating a sound or voice exactly as it's described in the book. | |
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Narm Charm | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_f646b904 | comment |
Narm Charm: invoked Discussed. The hosts admit that sometimes there are aspects of the books they read that are charming despite the poor writing, particularly the self-published titles written by amateur and hobbyist authors. | |
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Running Gag | |
| 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back (Podcast) / int_f9f2c33 | comment |
Running Gag: Conor's inability to pronounce "Ogden". Any reference to "goods" gets expanded to "goods and workers", or "goods and services" calling back to a noticeably vague description in Ready Player One. Any and every random sentence of Modelland sounds like a line from a Tom Waits spoken word piece. | |
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We Didn't Start the Billy Joel Parodies / int_a38f55fd |
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Copyright of data TVTropes.org contributors under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.