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Bard Quest (Webcomic)

 Bard Quest (Webcomic)
type
TVTItem
 Bard Quest (Webcomic)
label
Bard Quest (Webcomic)
 Bard Quest (Webcomic)
page
BardQuest
 Bard Quest (Webcomic)
comment
> Choose your path to cod-given glory.Bard Quest is the second MS Paint Adventures comic, written by Andrew Hussie. Unlike its predecessor Jailbreak, it was the first attempt to use Gamebook-style branching story paths that didn't lead into one another. It was also the first to have a definite plot — you are a bard tasked to perform for a bored king, but after proving your mettle to him, are appointed the kingdom's head Dragon Slayer and set off to do just that.The story was cancelled before Hussie started up work on Problem Sleuth, starting and finishing in 2007 with only 47 pages to its name. It also holds the distinction of being the only adventure without a definitive end, since Jailbreak received one in 2011.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic)
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2024-02-16T20:46:33Z
 Bard Quest (Webcomic)
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2024-02-16T20:46:33Z
 Bard Quest (Webcomic)
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Dropped link to DoubleEntendre: Not a Feature - ITEM
 Bard Quest (Webcomic)
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DBTropes
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_108c268e
type
Hotter and Sexier
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_108c268e
comment
Hotter and Sexier: Not that there's any fanservice going on, but a lot of the narration makes reference to groins. There's also a running subplot about the kingdom's sexual preferences, something that in Jailbreak got a sentence at best. Still doesn't reach the levels of relationship complication that Homestuck goes through, though.
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_1b65dfad
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The Cameo
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_1b65dfad
comment
The Cameo: The Bard and crew show up in Problem Sleuth when Ace Dick is trudging through a swamp during his Game of Life session. We see them in the same positions as they were left in the Swamp route, but we still don't know what happens to them afterwards.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_1b65dfad
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_21e5b9c7
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Failed a Spot Check
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_21e5b9c7
comment
Failed a Spot Check: The Bard tends to miss the mark quite a few times. He tries to sing a song to the king about his hypothetical queen, ignoring the two muscular, leather-bound bodyguards flanking him. He misses a dragon (you know, the thing he's supposed to be slaying) sleeping in plain sight. Daunchy suggests to him to try looking in the Caverns of Harold for a dragon. The Bard socks him in the face for tricking him with such an obviously fake location... right next to the cave's entrance.
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Mythology Gag
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_26ac510e
comment
Mythology Gag: Hunk Rump makes a reappearance here.
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_40680cf6
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Stupidity Is the Only Option
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_40680cf6
comment
Stupidity Is the Only Option: Unlike every other store that shows up in the adventure, the Bard has the option to steal a codpiece at Cod Palace. He can't trade his hat for the one he wants since it's lesser in value, and he can't outright buy it because he has no money, so his only option that advances the plot is taking it and becoming barred from shopping there ever again.
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Morton's Fork
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_407d3e6d
comment
Morton's Fork: After taking the Hull of the Flagship, the Bard can't shop around at Cod Palace the normal way anymore. If he barges in to buy another codpiece, he gets sent out on the Bard-a-pult. If he sneaks back in to get two more, however, then the group celebrates their stealing loud enough to alert the Codsmith.
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_460ffa29
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Transparent Closet
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_460ffa29
comment
Transparent Closet: Just about the entire town thanks to the king's laws. The butcher interprets bratwurst as an Unusual Euphemism for dildos without any prompting, the blacksmith keeps a secret stash of gay porn magazines, and the biggest store in town is dedicated to groin wear, but nobody will say anything out of fear that they'll be sent to the king's dungeon.
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_50b05d30
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Disproportionate Retribution
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_50b05d30
comment
Disproportionate Retribution: The Bard tries to impress the king by giving his shoes a spit-shine. He gets his head on a pike for his troubles.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_50b05d30
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_561dab6b
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Mistaken for Gay
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_561dab6b
comment
Mistaken for Gay: The butcher mistakes the Bard's request for bratwursts as an invitation to sex, and kicks him out almost immediately. Though to be fair, he has the option to ask a blacksmith for gay porn magazines and doesn't object to receiving one.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_561dab6b
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_66cdb21b
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Gag Penis
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_66cdb21b
comment
Gag Penis: The "Hull of the Flagship", a codpiece so majestic it makes back-alley hooligans prostrate themselves in awe.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_66cdb21b
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_68913e61
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Hello, [Insert Name Here]
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_68913e61
comment
Hello, [Insert Name Here]: Implied to be the case with the Bard's servants. The narration claims he doesn't care what their names actually are and that he'll probably make a couple up when he addresses them; after one of the commands dubs them "Flothers" and "Daunchy", they're called that for the rest of the comic.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_68913e61
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_703b2f20
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Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_703b2f20
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Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: The owner of Cod Palace has quite the Gag Nose.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_703b2f20
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_7831c048
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So Much for Stealth
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_7831c048
comment
So Much for Stealth: If he decides to "use a little discretion" when stealing a couple of of codpieces for Flothers and Daunchy, the Bard's able to successfully complete his mission... at least until the trio starts whooping in celebration right where the Codsmith can hear them.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_7831c048
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_7aeb5c6f
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HardGay
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_7aeb5c6f
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Hard Gay: The king, who even hires handsome musclemen to be his bodyguards.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_7aeb5c6f
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_7cf2f728
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Boomerang Bigot
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_7cf2f728
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Boomerang Bigot: Despite the kingdom's strict laws on homosexuality, the king himself is gay.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_7cf2f728
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_91cab736
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Major Injury Underreaction
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_91cab736
comment
Major Injury Underreaction: Upon the Bard being beheaded and impaled:
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_91cab736
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_9203bf6
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Arc Number
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_9203bf6
comment
Arc Number: 5, mainly due to one command telling the Bard to get "Bard Armor +5" but never saying what traits that +5 is supposed to go to.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_9203bf6
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_abe0f934
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Dissimile
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_abe0f934
comment
Dissimile: "So many choices! You're like a kid in a candy store, and instead of candy, the kid finds a lot of cod pieces instead!"
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_abe0f934
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_b58b4e3c
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Too Dumb to Live
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_b58b4e3c
comment
Too Dumb to Live: Some of the sillier options the Bard can take can lead to either his endangerment or death. Of particular note is what happens after the Bard acquires party members:
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_b58b4e3c
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ce6555f0
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Lighter and Softer
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ce6555f0
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Lighter and Softer: There's way less death and gore here than there is in Jailbreak, with the only graphic scenes (namely, the head of the Bard and potentially his servants on a pike) happening twice.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ce6555f0
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_dbed9cf7
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I Was Never Here
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_dbed9cf7
comment
I Was Never Here: When the Bard gets kicked out of a smith shop for asking for gay porn:
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_dbed9cf7
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_dbed9cf7
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ea2e9f2d
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No Ending
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ea2e9f2d
comment
No Ending: The bard and his servants enter a swamp where they find the Swamp Wizard, and the story abruptly stops there.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ea2e9f2d
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Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ea2e9f2d
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_eb7d0d71
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Quirky Bard
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_eb7d0d71
comment
Quirky Bard: Subverted with the title character. The reader thinks this initially, but he proves them wrong.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_eb7d0d71
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_f6f6adeb
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Railroading
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_f6f6adeb
comment
Railroading: Despite having 3 branch paths in some areas, some would lead nowhere,two ended in death, and others just had the Bard get kicked out of places. The third choice was usually the one that had a progressing plot.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_f6f6adeb
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_f9f2c33
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Running Gag
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_f9f2c33
comment
Running Gag: The Bard-a-pult showing up whenever the Bard makes an extremely stupid decision.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_f9f2c33
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 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ffa0483f
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Cut Short
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ffa0483f
comment
Cut Short: The story ends after the gang leaves town, only allowing for a couple of branch paths that don't go anywhere.
 Bard Quest (Webcomic) / int_ffa0483f
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Bard Quest (Webcomic)

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