| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
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HowToWriteBadlyWell |
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How To Write Badly Well is a blog of writing snippets written by Joel Stickley. Each snippet is an attempt to exemplify some particular form of writing pitfall.The blog started in 2009 and was last updated in 2014. Stickly also wrote a spin-off book, 100 Ways to Write Badly Well, which contained "both the best bits of [the] blog and all-new material." It was published in 2012. |
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2023-11-21T15:00:54Z |
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2023-11-21T15:00:54Z |
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Dropped link to HistoricalDomainCharacter: Not a Feature - IGNORE |
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Dropped link to Mockumentary: Not a Feature - ITEM |
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Dropped link to thebible: Not a Feature - ITEM |
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DBTropes |
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Creator Breakdown |
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Creator Breakdown: Invoked in "Write as therapy." |
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Cure for Cancer |
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Cure for Cancer: Shows up, as a part of another trope (where the Designated Villain is working on one just to put a charity out of business), but not discussed itself. |
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Ripped from the Headlines |
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Ripped from the Headlines: "Be topical." |
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The Chris Carter Effect |
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The Chris Carter Effect: Invoked in "Refuse to resolve mysteries." |
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Black Comedy |
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Black Comedy: "Make light of tragedy." |
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Ass Pull |
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Ass Pull: invoked "Write yourself out of a corner." "Introduce Plot Elements In An Off-Hand Manner." "End with a twist no reader could have reasonably foreseen." |
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Beauty Equals Goodness |
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Beauty Equals Goodness: "Equate physical beauty with virtue", which exaggerates the trope to the point of discomfort. The accused double-agent has a bad moustache, pimples, a cleft lip, a "malformed hand", and a "withered leg". And then the contrastingly-handsome hero explicitly says that he "should have known never to trust someone so ugly". Yeesh. |
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Sophisticated as Hell |
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Sophisticated as Hell: "Don't be put off by wildly conflicting registers of language." |
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Mad Scientist |
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Mad Scientist: The "Designated Villain" example is one trying to cure cancer, specifically in order to render cancer charities and certain doctors out of a job, and stop cancer patient survival biographies/memoirs/whathaveyou from being written. |
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"Burly Detective" Syndrome |
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"Burly Detective" Syndrome: Parodied in 'Refuse to Give Names to Characters'. |
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Foregone Conclusion |
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Foregone Conclusion: "Risk the narrator's life." The Framing Device makes the Conclusion even more Foregone than usual: the narrator is explicitly recounting the tale of his "absolutely certain death" to a friend in the comfort of his own home, long after the fact. |
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First-Person Peripheral Narrator |
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First-Person Peripheral Narrator: "Choose a narrator who is peripheral to the story." Parodied in that the narrator doesn't actually know the story: he's only acquainted with one of the two key characters, he has no idea what their relationship with each other is like, and he's not entirely sure what they argued about. |
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Take That, Audience! |
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Take That, Audience!: "Alienate your existing readership." Dash Gallant's adorable Robot Buddy from the previous installments/blog posts has apparently been retconned into a sexy human Love Interest. In their dialogue, the two of them mock the whole idea of becoming emotionally attached to a robot as childish and idiotic. |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_3f70415 |
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Because Destiny Says So |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_3f70415 |
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Because Destiny Says So: "Use 'fate' as a plot device." Two normal office workers agree that David was objectively the worst candidate to interview for the marketing job. But they decide to hire him anyway, because "it's his destiny" and they don't want to derail his "personal plot arc". |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_3f70415 |
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Deus ex Machina |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_3fca462c |
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Deus ex Machina: "Write yourself out of a corner." |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_45a60d75 |
type |
Character Derailment |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_45a60d75 |
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Character Derailment: Invoked in "Suddenly change characters' motivations." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_45a60d75 |
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Butt-Monkey |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_47fea76b |
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Butt-Monkey: Exaggerated in "Choose one character to bully." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_47fea76b |
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Funetik Aksent |
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Funetik Aksent: "Give your characters distinctive idioms." |
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Beige Prose |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_49b1fe0 |
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Beige Prose: "Narrate every scene in a matter-of-fact tone, no matter how exciting." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_49b1fe0 |
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Most Writers Are Writers |
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Most Writers Are Writers: Invoked in "Write to prove a point", where the protagonist has just slaughtered all the employees of the literary agency that kept rejecting his manuscripts. |
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type |
Author Tract |
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Author Tract: "Subtly weave your own opinions into the narrative." The protagonist of the story comes home one evening to find a bloody corpse in her front hall. Meanwhile, the hypothetical bad author is busy pointing out insignificant details that obviously map onto minor inconveniences in their own life (the streetlights come on too late these days, you can't find an effective carpet shampoo anymore, etc.), which they blame on "environmental pressure groups". |
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type |
Not Using the "Z" Word |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_525df529 |
comment |
Not Using the "Z" Word: "Beat around the bush." The doctor and patient discuss most of the usual symptoms and characteristics (hair growth, aggression, and aversion to silver, all linked to the full moon) without ever using the word "werewolf". |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_525df529 |
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type |
Plot Detour |
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Plot Detour: "Delay the ending." |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_593d7cbe |
type |
Designated Villain |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_593d7cbe |
comment |
Designated Villain: Invoked in "Emphasise your villian's bad qualities." Admittedly, Doctor Slithingly has many of the mannerisms of a Mad Scientist; he alternately giggles and "bwahaha"s while rubbing his hands together and gloating over his imminent victory. But mannerisms are not actions, and the narrator's attempt to frame a cure for leukaemia as evil (because it puts charities out of business, hurts doctors' incomes, etc.) falls rather flat. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_593d7cbe |
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Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp" |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_5ac34441 |
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Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": "Replace real-life items with fictional alternatives." |
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type |
Author Vocabulary Calendar |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_5bc1ce14 |
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Author Vocabulary Calendar: "If you find a phrase you like, keep repeating it." |
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type |
Said Bookism |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_626f55cc |
comment |
Said Bookism: "Use rich, evocative dialogue tags." In place of "said", the passage uses all of the following: "exploded", "gushed", "impinged", "shrank", "recapitulated", "temporised", "tergiversated", "burgeoned", and "subsumed". "Banish "said" from your vocabulary." The substitutes for "said" this time: "unveiled", "proclaimed", "conversed", "vocalised", "epitaphed", "stated", "recapitulated" (again), "philosophised", "gushed" (again), "questioned", "dialogued", "began", "continued", "concluded", and "ejaculated". |
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Author Avatar |
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comment |
Author Avatar: "Write thinly-veiled, self-aggrandising autobiographical fiction." Our protagonist, "Joe Stockley", is a wealthy, brilliant, and widely-admired writer with an adoring wife. |
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type |
Mills and Boon Prose |
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Mills and Boon Prose: "Replace concrete nouns with abstract ones." |
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type |
Planet of Hats |
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comment |
Planet of Hats: Ripped a new one in "Assume all Aliens are the Same." |
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type |
Meaningful Name |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_6bda9a30 |
comment |
Meaningful Name: "Give your characters evocative names." |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_71a34999 |
type |
Painful Rhyme |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_71a34999 |
comment |
Painful Rhyme: Invoked in "Change sentence structure for the benefit of your rhyme scheme." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_71a34999 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_7286e96d |
type |
Idiot Ball |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_7286e96d |
comment |
Idiot Ball: "Sacrifice motivation for the sake of plotting." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_7286e96d |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_779fd318 |
type |
Only the Author Can Save Them Now |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_779fd318 |
comment |
Only the Author Can Save Them Now: Invoked in "Write yourself into a corner." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_779fd318 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_7bb844ec |
type |
Villain Decay |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_7bb844ec |
comment |
Villain Decay: In-Universe. Due to Hitler's Time Travel Exemption Act and Timey-Wimey Ball, Hitler Prime is a Big Red Devil; History-books Hitler is him after 300 assassinations. Hitler-301 is a harmless old man painting watercolors on a riverbank in Austria, and there's no Hitler-302 because the timeline's so warped by then his parents decide to get a home office instead of children. |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_7c0bfb83 |
type |
Obviously Evil |
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comment |
Obviously Evil: A video on Mad Scientists purports that, perhaps Hitler's been killed so many times that the "psychotic failed artist" Hitler was only a "pale shadow" of a Big Red Devil with a toothbrush moustache, and he'll eventually degenerate to a harmless old man painting shitty watercolors. |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_7e74d66f |
type |
Politically Correct History |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_7e74d66f |
comment |
Politically Correct History: "Allow your characters to be centuries ahead of their time." Edward is firmly convinced that women should be allowed to vote and to work as firefighters...despite the fact that neither professional firefighters nor "the vote" even exist in his time period. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_7e74d66f |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_820ac3c5 |
type |
Dysfunction Junction |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_820ac3c5 |
comment |
Dysfunction Junction: Parodied, and perhaps subverted, in "Give every character a tragic backstory". The four characters have quite an assortment of Dark And Troubled Pasts (rape, crippling injuries, suicidal depression, dead family, cult abuse...), but they don't seem particularly angsty about it in the moment, aside from their word choices in Scrabble. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_820ac3c5 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_820ac3c5 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_83ea0763 |
type |
Rouge Angles of Satin |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_83ea0763 |
comment |
Rouge Angles of Satin / Malaproper: "Find the bone mote." "Truss your spool-chucker." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_83ea0763 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_83ea0763 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_8e11040f |
type |
Designated Hero |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_8e11040f |
comment |
Designated Hero: Invoked in "Emphasise your hero's good qualities." Each of the king's flaws or evil deeds gets a positive spin. Overtaxing his subjects? He needs that money to make his kingdom the best! Drinking too much? He's returning some of that tax money to the winemakers! Executing innocent people on trumped-up charges? He's keeping the kingdom safe! Raping a maid? He's just a romantic at heart! |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_8e11040f |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_8e11040f |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_94680696 |
type |
Shaped Like Itself |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_94680696 |
comment |
Shaped Like Itself: "Make your similes very accurate." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_94680696 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_94680696 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_94680696 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_9b0f37de |
type |
Contemplate Our Navels |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_9b0f37de |
comment |
Contemplate Our Navels: "Take yourself far too seriously." and "Ask the difficult questions." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_9b0f37de |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_9b0f37de |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a1d753b6 |
type |
Featureless Plane of Disembodied Dialogue |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a1d753b6 |
comment |
Featureless Plane of Disembodied Dialogue: Parodied in "Do not contextualise dialogue." It's nearly impossible for the reader to figure out who said what, or even how many characters there are, but it rises to an absurd level when the characters themselves lose track (despite all being in the same room). |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a1d753b6 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a1d753b6 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a27c0c2c |
type |
Artistic License – Religion |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a27c0c2c |
comment |
Artistic License – Religion: Played for Laughs with Grobian Orthodox Heresy. They conclude not that god or the gods either don't exist or don't care after their prayers go unanswered, but that he/she/they are so impressed by humanity that they don't want to spoil the show by intervening. The enforcement of morals stems not from fear of eternal punishment, but from not wanting to disappoint their fan/s. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a27c0c2c |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a27c0c2c |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a284511d |
type |
Balance Between Good and Evil |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a284511d |
comment |
Balance Between Good and Evil: Mocked in "Base your plot on unsupported assertions". When the protagonist asks what's actually wrong with having all good and no evil, his mentor can't come up with an answer. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a284511d |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_a284511d |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_aaa1fa9 |
type |
Captain Space, Defender of Earth! |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_aaa1fa9 |
comment |
Captain Space, Defender of Earth!: Captain Dash Gallant, who appears in several posts. He's incredibly handsome, an ace starfighter pilot, a master of Space-Zen, and he knows his way around a bottle of Hoertellian Spurg. He and his adorable robot sidekick spend most of their time fighting a race of Always Chaotic Evil aliens called the Mhal-Evol’Unt. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_aaa1fa9 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_aaa1fa9 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_adda84d4 |
type |
Unintentional Period Piece |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_adda84d4 |
comment |
Unintentional Period Piece:invoked "Write in a way which will not age well" is written in a way that places it very firmly in the late 1990's. The protagonist worries about Y2K and if the future will be like The Matrix, while simultaneously playing with his Tamagotchi and rollerblading. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_adda84d4 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_adda84d4 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ae254ead |
type |
Narrating the Obvious |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ae254ead |
comment |
Narrating the Obvious: "When writing radio drama, use dialogue to set the scene." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ae254ead |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ae254ead |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ae254ead |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ae853f28 |
type |
Parody |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ae853f28 |
comment |
Parody: The Homage WeekNon-Contiguous Homage Fortnight, which includes stylistic parodies of: The Bible: here. Raymond Chandler: here. Charles Dickens: here. Ernest Hemingway: here. James Joyce: here. H. P. Lovecraft: here. Vladimir Nabokov: here. J. R. R. Tolkien: here. P. G. Wodehouse: here. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ae853f28 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ae853f28 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_aebae11c |
type |
Viewers Are Morons |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_aebae11c |
comment |
Viewers Are Morons: "Underestimate your audience." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_aebae11c |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_aebae11c |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b006c883 |
type |
FillerStrip |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b006c883 |
comment |
Filler Strip: "Rely on unsolicited submissions." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b006c883 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b006c883 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b15f2cdb |
type |
Expospeak |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b15f2cdb |
comment |
Expospeak: "Present your research in the form of dialogue." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b15f2cdb |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b15f2cdb |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b15f2cdb |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b41c411e |
type |
Toilet Humour |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b41c411e |
comment |
Toilet Humour: Not intended by the hypothetical bad author, but definitely intended by Joel Stickley, in "Fail to see the funny side". The protagonist is suffering from "chronic, uncontrollable flatulence" and "diarrheic hyperactivity" that threatens to derail his promising career. His ski-jumping career. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b41c411e |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b41c411e |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b5049d76 |
type |
Added Alliterative Appeal |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b5049d76 |
comment |
Added Alliterative Appeal: "Abuse alliteration" is an entire paragraph where every single word begins with the letters "CH". And they're not even all pronounced the same, which just makes it worse. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b5049d76 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b5049d76 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b58b4e3c |
type |
Too Dumb to Live |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b58b4e3c |
comment |
Too Dumb to Live: "Make your characters incapable of learning anything." Gretta doesn't understand that she can't simply "make friends" with a Killer Robot sent to assassinate her, even after the robot itself has explained this in unmistakable terms. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b58b4e3c |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b58b4e3c |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b72ae7 |
type |
Omnidisciplinary Scientist |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b72ae7 |
comment |
Omnidisciplinary Scientist: Dr. Billingsworth of "Write outside your comfort zone" is highly accomplished in physics, geology, biology, mathematics, and even literature. His feats in these fields have absolutely no relation to reality. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b72ae7 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b72ae7 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b7b1aa73 |
type |
And Then What? |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b7b1aa73 |
comment |
And Then What?: Lord Plunderfall hasn't really thought out what he'll do if he wins, it seems. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b7b1aa73 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b7b1aa73 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b90feedc |
type |
Schedule Slip |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b90feedc |
comment |
Schedule Slip: Invoked in "Miss deadlines." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b90feedc |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b90feedc |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b90feedc |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b913a5df |
type |
Accidental Innuendo |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b913a5df |
comment |
Accidental Innuendo: Invoked in "Blunder into double entendres.". It starts with a butcher named Richard (a.k.a. Dick) displaying his sausage, and goes on from there. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b913a5df |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_b913a5df |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_bb35f8b6 |
type |
Mixed Metaphor |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_bb35f8b6 |
comment |
Mixed Metaphor: "Mix metaphors." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_bb35f8b6 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_bb35f8b6 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_bb35f8b6 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_bfc2ec8a |
type |
That Makes Me Feel Angry |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_bfc2ec8a |
comment |
That Makes Me Feel Angry: "Let your characters explain themselves." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_bfc2ec8a |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_bfc2ec8a |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_c250346f |
type |
Generic Doomsday Villain |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_c250346f |
comment |
Generic Doomsday Villain: Lord Plunder in "Make your villain genuinely evil". He tells the heroes that he wants to destroy the world and all humanity simply because he is "pure evil" and "a force of pure malignancy". The heroes reply that this sounds "a bit improbable" and "not all that convincing as a motive", which troubles him greatly because he can't find a counterargument. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_c250346f |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_c250346f |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ca87e3ec |
type |
No Name Given |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ca87e3ec |
comment |
No Name Given: "Refuse to give names to characters." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ca87e3ec |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ca87e3ec |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_cadbe2b3 |
type |
She Is the King |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_cadbe2b3 |
comment |
She Is the King: "King Suzan I "The Woman" of Grob." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_cadbe2b3 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_cadbe2b3 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_cadbe2b3 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d0b60f23 |
type |
GoshDangItToHeck |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d0b60f23 |
comment |
Gosh Dang It to Heck!: "Censor your characters." The post would be a Cluster F-Bomb but for the substitutions. Some of the replacement words are more or less conventional ("flipping", "forget", and "fudge"), but they get stranger as the passage continues ("flaking"? "flouncing"?). |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d0b60f23 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d0b60f23 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d129f336 |
type |
Trapped by Mountain Lions |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d129f336 |
comment |
Trapped by Mountain Lions: Invoked in "Create subplots which bear no relation to the main story." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d129f336 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d129f336 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d129f336 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d1814802 |
type |
Big Red Devil |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d1814802 |
comment |
Big Red Devil: Hitler-1 in the "Take the mad scientist archetype to its logical conclusion" video, is described as being "20-foot tall, wreathed in flame with wings made of Midnight, with a funny little moustache because some things never change." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d1814802 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d1814802 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d64491d8 |
type |
Meaningless Meaningful Words |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d64491d8 |
comment |
Meaningless Meaningful Words: "Select words for their impressiveness rather than their relevance." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d64491d8 |
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1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d64491d8 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_d64491d8 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_db54633f |
type |
Can't Take Criticism |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_db54633f |
comment |
Can't Take Criticism: "Regard editorial input as a personal attack." Penny Scriber's reply to their editor starts with "Dear Dream-Crusher" and only goes downhill from there. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_db54633f |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_db54633f |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e3cee2e7 |
type |
Empathic Environment |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e3cee2e7 |
comment |
Empathic Environment: "Begin the novel with your protagonist getting out of bed and seeing that it is raining outside, which perfectly mirrors his life." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e3cee2e7 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e3cee2e7 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e545d293 |
type |
Narm |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e545d293 |
comment |
Narm:invoked "Fail to see the funny side" warns you against making your drama unintentionally funny. The sample passage tries to be a drama about the main character learning that he has a Dream-Crushing Handicap, but it's hard to take seriously when it's in the form of a disorder with symptoms like uncontrollable farting. It doesn't help that his name sounds like "bum gale" (an Unusual Euphemism for farts) or that he reacts to the news with "I could feel the bottom falling out of my world" and excuses himself (which just makes you wonder if he has to run to the toilet). |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e545d293 |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e545d293 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e63228a7 |
type |
InfoDump |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e63228a7 |
comment |
Info Dump: "Explain everything." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e63228a7 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e63228a7 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
hasFeature |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e63228a7 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e8760868 |
type |
Space Whale Aesop |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e8760868 |
comment |
Space Whale Aesop: "Punish your characters indirectly." Underage drinking causes laser wasps to attack! |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e8760868 |
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1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e8760868 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
hasFeature |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e8760868 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e96fe76d |
type |
Hobbes Was Right |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e96fe76d |
comment |
Hobbes Was Right: Averted. Hobbes is the cameo in "Cater for Cameos". The characters think he's a tool. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e96fe76d |
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How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_e96fe76d |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ee8807f9 |
type |
LawOfConservationOfDetail |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ee8807f9 |
comment |
Law of Conservation of Detail : Inverted in "Describe the Wrong Things." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ee8807f9 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
hasFeature |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ee8807f9 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f1d3f0c9 |
type |
Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f1d3f0c9 |
comment |
Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: "Explain how clever you are." Why say "walking down the street" when you can say "perambulating unassumingly along the boulevard"? And that's only 5% of the first sentence. |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f1d3f0c9 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f1d3f0c9 |
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| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
hasFeature |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f1d3f0c9 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f300ca44 |
type |
Cliché Storm |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f300ca44 |
comment |
Cliché Storm: Invoked in "Treat genre as a replacement for ideas." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f300ca44 |
featureApplicability |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f300ca44 |
featureConfidence |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
hasFeature |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f300ca44 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f37c192 |
type |
Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f37c192 |
comment |
Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: Invoked in "Use semicolons because you think they look good, not because you know how they work." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f37c192 |
featureApplicability |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f37c192 |
featureConfidence |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
hasFeature |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_f37c192 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_fc151e9d |
type |
Department of Redundancy Department |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_fc151e9d |
comment |
Department of Redundancy Department: "Include unnecessary linguistic redundancies of language." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_fc151e9d |
featureApplicability |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_fc151e9d |
featureConfidence |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
hasFeature |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_fc151e9d |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ffad4e9f |
type |
Shown Their Work |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ffad4e9f |
comment |
Shown Their Work: "Include passing references to major historical events." Expospeak: "Present your research in the form of dialogue." |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ffad4e9f |
featureApplicability |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ffad4e9f |
featureConfidence |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
hasFeature |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_ffad4e9f |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_name |
type |
ItemName |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_name |
comment |
|
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_name |
featureApplicability |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_name |
featureConfidence |
1.0 |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |
hasFeature |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_name |
| How to Write Badly Well (Blog) / int_name |
itemName |
How to Write Badly Well (Blog) |