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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)

891 statements
174 feature instances
9 referencing feature instances

In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	type	TVTItem
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	label	In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	page	InTheGrimDarknessOfThe41stMillenniumNobodyBeatsGIJoe
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	comment	They'll fight for freedom wherever there's Chaos, G.I. Joe is there! G.I. Joe! Fake Imperial Heroes- wait, what?In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! is a Crossover quest between G.I. Joe (with elements of other Hasbro properties like Transformers) and Warhammer 40,000 written by Sun Tzu, author of A Champion in Earth-Bet and Saga of Soul. It uses the mechanics from the G.I. Joe Tabletop RPG published by Renegade Game Studios, its progression, rolls and votes are collated on fiction.live, and completed segments are posted to Sufficient Velocity.note Updated February 2024.The war is over - Cobra has been defeated. The Autobots have driven the Decepticons off Earth, and departed to finish their war on Cybertron. But just when it looks like peace has been achieved, an attack by Unicron and the activation of a Transmuter device to escape throws the entire Solar System into a different dimension. More specifically, the hellish galaxy of perpetual war of the Warhammer 40,000 franchise - and the fascistic Imperium of Man has detected their arrival.Trapped smack-dab in the middle of the Imperium, the people of Earth realize their only way to survive long enough to find a way back home is to convince the Imperium that they are loyal Imperial subjects. As part of the long con thus involved, G.I. Joe (expanded with elite members from all over the world) becomes a regiment of the Imperial Guard, the 1st Organitron Expeditionary Regiment. The Joes must thus fight the Imperium's enemies on planets all across the Xanadu Sector while dealing with the general dystopian nature of the Imperium itself.The quest follows the POV of the relative newcomer Joe, technician and "Tech-Priest" Solomon Orville Savella, Code Name "Ironhide"note in honor of the fallen Autobot. Can he help G.I. Joe keep Organitron alive and in good standing with the Imperium until a way back to their home dimension can be found? Good luck, and Yo Joe.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_11db78ec	type	Opponent Instruction
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_11db78ec	comment	Opponent Instruction: Bifrost, while giving orders to the rest of her squad, also weaves in one to the enemy Meganob to confuse him.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_13992073	type	Rasputinian Death
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_13992073	comment	Rasputinian Death: Warboss Karkaz, as befitting a giant Ork with heavy powered armor and riding an Ork-ified Baneblade Tank, takes a lot of punishment, including having his own tank blown up from under him, Spirit ramming him with a Chimera tank, point-blank shots from Roadblock's Heavy Bolter, slashes from Snake Eyes wielding a Power Sword, punches from Quick Kick wearing Power Fists, and a lot of supporting fire, and he still doesn't go down until Snake Eyes stabs a Power Knife into his eye up to his elbow. And then slashes out his throat for good measure.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_14848fa3	type	Multinational Team
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_14848fa3	comment	Multinational Team: G.I. Joe has effectively been upgraded into this to deal with the magnitude of the crisis, with members from all over the world.
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_14848fa3	featureApplicability	1.0
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1501b4a2	type	Flamethrower Backfire
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1501b4a2	comment	Flamethrower Backfire: The Orks' glitch-ridden flamethrowers are prone to getting blown up by a particularly accurate Joe. Ironhide and his aim-assisted Equilibrium Armor are particularly good at it. He even helps do this on a Humongous Mecha scale; where he pinpoints the fuel-tank on an Ork Gargant's flamethrower for their allied Imperial Knight to slash open.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_159ce749	type	Ensign Newbie
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_159ce749	comment	Ensign Newbie: Commissar Parvasky Popov and his cadet Teela Kaltberg are the Commissars assigned to monitor G.I. Joe, and while they technically have license to kill any member not sufficiently loyal to the Imperium, they are constantly left off-balance by G.I. Joe's eccentricity, unorthodoxy, and sheer effectiveness, to say nothing of General Hawk and the upper brass constantly giving them the runaround.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_176a6683	type	The Social Expert
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_176a6683	comment	Ali Razuli Jabal, monarch of Alwaha from the episode "Hearts and Cannons" that had his country liberated by Dusty and Footloose, becomes The Social Expert and diplomat Assault (with his country democratized, he can afford to be Active Royalty). Also, he married Dr. Winters, the expert on plasma weaponry.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_17c7c925	type	Frothy Mugs of Water
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_17c7c925	comment	Frothy Mugs of Water: The Joes aren't allowed intoxicants during their deployment due to the risk of breaking The Masquerade, but Ironhide just pretends his grape juice is hard while he rants about all the Orks being psychic and holding their glitchy tech together.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1842dcdc	type	Staging the Eavesdrop
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1842dcdc	comment	Staging the Eavesdrop: As master conman Snow Job can attest to, the best way to make money on betting is not just to bet on the winning side, but to also make sure a lot of rich idiots will bet that your side will lose in order to skew the odds, and the best way to do that is to find the sports nerds that everyone listens to and make it seem like they'll bet against your side. So, if a visible Tech-Priest has a conversation near some of these nobles about how the competing battle servitors are the personal creations of Magos Gamma, outfitted with invincible technology, and that Magos Gamma wouldn't show off his work in the Gladiator Games unless he was absolutely certain they were unbeatable... well, let's just say the betting odds are very lopsided, with a big payout in the rare (and completely inevitable) event that the Joes win.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_18dd6739	type	Dressing as the Enemy
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_18dd6739	comment	Dressing as the Enemy: Between several Masters of Disguise like Scarlet and Zarana and synthoid technology, the Joes are able to pull this not only on some members of the Imperium, but even Orks.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_19fc58a2	type	A Lighter Shade of Black
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_19fc58a2	comment	A Lighter Shade of Black: The Imperium is a nightmarishly evil regime, but given that its enemies in the sector are Orks, Tyranids and Chaos, G.I. Joe can fight for it with a reasonably clear conscience. When meeting Magos Castillo of the Adeptus Mechanicus, Ironhide reflects that one doesn't get to such a position without doing a lot of horrific things... but that having some redeeming qualities still puts Castillo ahead of his competition.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1a8dc238	type	Underestimating Badassery
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1a8dc238	comment	Underestimating Badassery: With a dash of Evil Cannot Comprehend Good; almost every high-ranking Imperial Guard official that comes into contact with G.I. Joe - from Colonel Rastapopoulos to General Leonidas - views General Hawk as both an exemplary tactician for pulling off near-impossible military achievements and an absolutely abysmal politician due to not using said achievements to make Thrones, gain military accolades, connect with nobles or find powerful patrons. While they all plan on using Hawk as a blunt instrument for their own ends, Hawk meanwhile is fully capable of playing them like a band of fiddles, stop the worst of their plans, hold them to account, and eventually replace them with someone who will actually care about the innocent populace of their worlds. It turns out that President Reagan and Henry Kissinger hold a similar opinion of him.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1b3b48f3	type	David Versus Goliath
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1b3b48f3	comment	David Versus Goliath: Despite the size of Orks like Nobs and Meganobs, close-combat Joes like Moonboot, Quick Kick and Sergeant Slaughter can still kill them with their bare hands. Ironhide goes up against an oath-blade named "The Titan" in a Trial by Combat - a gigantic landed knight wielding a plasteel shield, a chain sword and bulletproof armor - without his armor or guns. What he does get, however, is prep time, and he manages to topple the Titan with some round seeds, a hidden Bifrost with a mirror, a sling and a gold-weighted bullet, and a pair of daggers right to the eye.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1ba8eb64	type	Visual Pun
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1ba8eb64	comment	Visual Pun: After his assassination is successfully faked, Captain Almadero comes out of the closet. There are also rumors that he's in a romantic relationship with his Stormtrooper friend Sean Kaltberg.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1e8b0711	type	Grenade Tag
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1e8b0711	comment	Grenade Tag: Subverted. When Ironhide finds out that the Gargant he's trying to hijack has a Mekboy in the cockpit, he just tosses a grenade in with a grin. The Mekboy is so terrified he leaps out of the cockpit and gets tripped to his death, allowing Ironhide to take his place, as well as retrieve the grenade that he didn't pull the pin out of.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1ee9819e	type	Scary Shiny Glasses
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1ee9819e	comment	Scary Shiny Glasses: While Doc is ranting about how Imperial rejuvenat treatments steal youth from others, Ironhide notes his glasses looking shinier and more reflective than usual.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1fc85456	type	Hopeless with Tech
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_1fc85456	comment	Hopeless with Tech: Relatively speaking. The Adeptus Mechanicus is supposed to be the premier source of technology knowledge in the Imperium, but all their expertise is filtered through belief in "machine-spirits" and prayers and rituals to appease them in order to get the Imperium's tech to do anything, with no actual knowledge of how it actually works. The technicians in G.I. Joe, on the other hand, actually know the underlying principles on how to use technology and have worked with super-advanced Cybertronian tech for years, so not only can they operate and repair technology much better than the Ad Mech, but they can bamboozle them with the Adeptus's own ritualistic flash.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_216dab44	type	Framing the Guilty Party
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_216dab44	comment	Framing the Guilty Party: The ambitious Colonel Rastapopoulos wants to gain King Cortoban's favor, which means supplanting General Leonidas. It isn't hard for the Joes to frame him for conspiring with King Cortoban to assassinate General Leonidas, giving their new royal ally King Cadencio just cause to arrest him and get him out of the way.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_21d41a5b	type	Praetorian Guard
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_21d41a5b	comment	If a Joe mentions "Crimson" and "Guard" in the same phrase (in a reference to Cobra's Praetorian Guard), this alerts other Joes that Imperial intelligence might be listening in and they need to be extra careful.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_21d70919	type	Crapsack World
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_21d70919	comment	Crapsack World: One of the biggest examples of this trope in fiction.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_21ef4ccd	type	Good Is Not Dumb
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_21ef4ccd	comment	Good Is Not Dumb: The Joes are uniquely idealistic, in contrast to the Evil Versus Evil factions of Warhammer 40,000. They spend the Cavitus arc running circles around every faction.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_21f60711	type	Good Is Not Soft
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_21f60711	comment	Good Is Not Soft: Being the good guys doesn't stop G.I. Joe from massacring Orks... or arranging a coup to replace Cavitus's scumbag King with one of their allies.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2200d9ec	type	Engineered Heroics
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2200d9ec	comment	Engineered Heroics: When Ironhide needs to get into a secret royal vault with a bunch of guards, he remotely accesses the vault door to act like it has a glitch, and then conveniently be the Tech-Priest in the area that the guards demand to/beg for help. All he then has to do is close the door once inside, claim that "the machine spirit still needs appeasing" and snoop to his heart's content.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_222dc873	type	Black Comedy
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_222dc873	comment	Black Comedy: The only description of the scene where Ironhide distracts an entire hangar full of Mekboy Orks and Gretchins by pretending to be a Mekboy on the loudspeaker, and claiming that a Gretchin swallowed his flash bitz, ran off before he could gut it to get it back, and is now offering a thousand teef reward to the Ork that guts the Gretchin and gets back his flash bitz. Cue a gory evisceration of every Gretchin in the hangar while G.I. Joe covertly goes about their business. And to cap everything off, to destroy all the Ork hardware in the hangar, Ironhide hijacks a Gargant and starts blasting everything in sight while yelling in Ork, "ZOG THIS, IF I CANNA GET THAT FLASH BITZ, I'LL JUST TAKE ALL YER TEEF!"
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_226cf294	type	Midair Repair
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_226cf294	comment	Midair Repair: The Joes need to get from one location to another in a hurry, but one of the vehicles needs emergency repairs and there's no time to stop. So, Ironhide, who is riding in another vehicle, has to climb onto the other vehicle, perform the repairs, and climb back, all without stopping. To Cadet Kaltberg's complete disbelief, the Joes pull it off without even a blink.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_295087bf	type	Non-Indicative Name
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_295087bf	comment	Non-Indicative Name: Zigzagged; Ironhide's codename may come from his armor specialization (and also in honor of the heroic Autobot), but not all of his armor suits are built for tanking raw damage. On Cavitus, he wore a set of Equilibrium Armor designed to help him dodge attacks, while on Devoir, he wears a suit of heavy Marauder Armor that is built for durability.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2a02e5c9	type	Guile Hero
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2a02e5c9	comment	Guile Hero: The Joes' ability to pull fast ones on everyone they come across - both their enemies and erstwhile allies - is as important for their continued success and survival as their combat prowess. Intelligence officers like Scarlet are masters at it, while Ironhide himself is no slouch; General Hawk has commented on his silver tongue and the things he can convince the Orks to do with a vox and a voice changer.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2ad2a2c8	type	Diagonal Cut
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2ad2a2c8	comment	Diagonal Cut: Snake-Eyes goes out ahead to cull the leadership of an incoming Ork horde, and Meganob Bloodred's lieutenant doesn't notice a thing until he wonders why his boss is so quiet and pokes him, whereupon the Meganob's stoically-frowning head falls off. Cue Flat "What".
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2b9affed	type	Dirty Business
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2b9affed	comment	Dirty Business: Flint and General Hawk agree that although they have been authorized by the governments of Earth/Organitron to implement partial regime change on Cavitus (like replacing the current government with a more sympathetic and safer political ally via staged assassinations), they are not and should not be comfortable with doing so. Especially when it means reading from the Cobra playbook.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2bdae2ae	type	Awesome, but Impractical
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2bdae2ae	comment	Awesome, but Impractical: Sci-Fi is amused that Ironhide, who is codenamed after an Autobot, doesn't think very highly of giant bipedal mecha. Ironhide replies that Cybertronians are sleek, can move as agilely or better than a human, and have vehicle-modes, while Imperial mechs are slow, cumbersome, and have kneecaps. On a similar note, the Ork combiner Gargant is an airborne rocket-firing menace whose Wartrukk components mean that it can move around undetected, but its method of flight involves precariously balancing on all its boosters, meaning that once Ironhide works out which rockets to shoot out, it comes crashing down rather easily.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2dddd99d	type	False Flag Operation
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_2dddd99d	comment	False Flag Operation: The Joes, especially their psy-ops specialists, have taken advantage of the Orks' idiocy in several operations by pretending to be Orks themselves - despite their Commissars' protests on adopting a xeno's mindset. On Ironhide's first mission, his squad needs to preoccupy a whole airfield of Ork pilots, so he breaks into their communications, disguises his voice and tells them about a contest that requires the toughest Ork pilot around, prompting the pilots to start beating the tar out of each other. In the beginning of the war, Earth got on the Imperium expedition's good side and demonstrated the military prowess of G.I. Joe by manufacturing an entire squadron of Ork synthoids and having them "attack" Earth, only to be driven off by the Joes in a re-enactment of some of their greatest battles against Cobra. This tactic is again replicated to stymie Cortez's pogrom on the Cavitus underhives, by first getting the civilians out of the way and then creating a fake Ork warband out of synthoids to intercept the crusaders. Towards the end of the Joes' time on Cavitus, the Assassinorum agents are informed of another assignment and leave in disguise for Kiboutan, while elsewhere, Chuckles sighs at how boring it was to monitor their communication protocols for months in order to mimic them.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_326bed3	type	Battle Thralls
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_326bed3	comment	Battle Thralls: The Imperium has them in multiple forms - penal regiments, Battle Servitors, Arco-Flagellants... all of which horrify G.I. Joe.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_35ba90ab	type	Recruiting the Criminal
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_35ba90ab	comment	Recruiting the Criminal: Several former members of Cobra are working with G.I. Joe now: Zarana, Storm Shadow, Raven, B.A. Lacarr... Also, several Cobra experts like Destro and Scrap-Iron are consulted for Project Ruby Slipper.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_362bdb30	type	Out-Gambitted
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_362bdb30	comment	Out-Gambitted: Bishop-Praetor Cortez was working with the Navigators of House Astraides to usurp King Cortoban - who was hoarding all of the PDF's best forces for his own protection instead of on the front lines against the Orks, prolonging the war and risking Astraides's profits - and replacing him with a loyal patsy like Viscount Aragon. Not only does G.I. Joe work out what's going on, they convince the Navigators to back their own more altruistic royal heir, usurp the King themselves, and blackmail Cortez into retiring under threat of exposing his crimes of selling pilgrims into slavery.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_372bc105	type	Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_372bc105	comment	Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism: Warhammer 40,000 is on the far end of the cynicism scale, while G.I. Joe is somewhere on the idealistic side. The Joes work to inject what little idealism they can get away with into their small corner of the galaxy.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3c3f28a5	type	Blessed with Suck
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3c3f28a5	comment	Blessed with Suck: Meridian Septentrion is a sanctioned psyker. Having psychic powers largely means he was snatched from his home, put through hellish condition to be trained by the Adeptus Telepathica, and then essentially became a slave in service to his assigned regiment and abusive Commissar.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3c5ae1a1	type	Schizo Tech
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3c5ae1a1	comment	Schizo Tech: Standard for 40k, but Rolande's home of Devoir stands out in particular. A tropical Knight World, it features a largely medieval society... doing battle with Tyranids, using Laz Guns and Humongous Mecha.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3d260e8c	type	Victory Fakeout
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3d260e8c	comment	Victory Fakeout: Ironhide and his fellow new recruits have just finished their training exercise, cleared out a fort full of fake Orks, cheer in victory... and then Bifrost gets headshot. As she wipes the paint off, Major Bludd comes in with a warning about not letting your guard down too early.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3d699462	type	Curb-Stomp Battle
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3d699462	comment	As an example, a mission on Cavitus has G.I. Joe and a scant Planetary Defense Force defending a settlement about to be attacked by over 100,000 Orks, with no chance of reinforcement. Not only do the Joes completely wipe out the opposing force with no survivors, they take no fatalities of their own.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3f71b00e	type	Point Defenseless
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_3f71b00e	comment	Point Defenseless: Because of the Bigger Is Better mentality shared by both the Imperium and the Orks when it comes to their space battleships, both factions consider fighters scouts at best and worthless at worst. As such, when G.I. Joe sends out several squadrons of Thunderbolts and Marauders to take down an Ork Kill Kroozer, they are able to outfly the Ork fighters, obliterate the point defenses and take out the main guns, allowing the Flag and the bombers to finish it off, while the nearby Imperial Commodore is completely dumbfounded by the "counterintuitive" tactics.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_40652d02	type	The One Thing I Don't Hate About You
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_40652d02	comment	The One Thing I Don't Hate About You: Ironhide notes that for all of the Imperium's hatred of xenos, aliens and mutants (even things as small as albinism or extra fingers), there is one thing that they're more progressive on than Earth and the US Army - attitudes towards LGBTQ individuals (keep in mind, this is happening during what would've been the 80s/90s). When Ironhide starts to make jokes about Menlo reciprocating Imperial Knight Rolande's advances, Poker Face pulls him aside, reminds him about what happened to Alan Turing, and tells him to not give General Hawk any knowledge that would legally require him to discharge any Joes. While many Joes mock Cobra Commander screaming "Retreat!" after another Cobra defeat, they do acknowledge that being able to organize a fighting retreat without suffering catastrophic losses is a tactical skill all its own. This is contrasted with the Orks, who when faced with (synthoid) Orks screaming "Retreat!", completely panic, lose their heads, run into each other, and are completely routed by the Joes. President Reagan laments the fact that the Imperium of Man have achieved his ideal of "one nation under God" and have kept it for millennia, if not for the fact that they worship "the wrong God".
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_40cbee83	type	Wretched Hive
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_40cbee83	comment	Wretched Hive: Ciudad's underhive is very much this - though this is largely due to harsh conditions and having been effectively abandoned by the rest of society, rather than any flaw of the inhabitants themselves.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_41dd77d	type	Zerg Rush
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_41dd77d	comment	Zerg Rush: Admiral Keel-Haul uses this strategy to take out one of the Orks' Kill Kroozers, by going against Imperial military doctrine of Bigger Is Better and swarming the enemy ship with the Flag's entire contingent of space-fighters.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_44fc28e8	type	Honor Before Reason
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_44fc28e8	comment	Honor Before Reason: Commissar Parvasky Popov is the kind of commissar who views deceit and subterfuge as cowardice, and is only barely restraining himself from court-martialling G.I. Joe and its unorthodox tactics. Not only does he insist on coming along on an infiltration of an Ork naval fortress, not only does he protest pretending to be captured by Orks (Scarlet in disguise), but even when Scarlet asks him to be her lookout, he ends up charging out with his chainsword and getting captured. The Joes themselves often go far above and beyond what is required for their role, or even safe for keeping the Earth's secrets. While they do their best to be smart about it, and realize they can't save everyone, Ironhide often thinks to himself that there would be no point in being G.I. Joe if they were willing to let evil slide when it can possibly be avoided.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_4655ec83	type	Important Haircut
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_4655ec83	comment	Important Haircut: Children on Vectorime, the native world of the Kaltbergs, traditionally dye their hair; Teela Kaltberg removed the dye when she started attending the Schola Progenium in order to better fit in. At the end of the Cavitus arc, filled with doubts about whether she's being a good Commissar for G.I. Joe and about whether she even should be, she decides to repaint her hair purple.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_46dfd21d	type	Fake Faith Healer
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_46dfd21d	comment	Fake Faith Healer: As part of the Masquerade, all G.I. Joe technologists and engineers have to disguise themselves as members of the local Organitron chapter of the Adeptus Mechanicus, tech-priests that pray to the machine-spirit of technology every time they use or work on them. Ironhide finds it the most humiliating part of his new role, but needs must.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_48d464ca	type	Interdimensional Travel Device
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_48d464ca	comment	Interdimensional Travel Device: The Transmuter (from the old Sunbow episode Worlds Without End) is how the backstory happened. It was used to transport the whole Solar System out of Unicron's way, right into another dimension.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_4ac77ae7	type	Mind over Manners
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_4ac77ae7	comment	Mind over Manners: Played with. For all that he has impressive psychic abilities, sanctioned psyker Meridian Septentrion cannot actually read minds. However, many, many Imperial Guard members he has run across over the years assume he can, and threaten to kill him if he ever reveals their secrets - secrets to which he isn't actually privy.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_4e3b5209	type	Beeping Computers
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_4e3b5209	comment	Beeping Computers: Invoked. When Ironhide needs a distraction to reset the passwords on a supercomputer they are fixing in front of an Ad Mech Magos, Bon Appetit makes the computer beep and flash to draw the Magos's attention away.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_4fafed32	type	Higher-Tech Species
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_4fafed32	comment	Higher-Tech Species: The Cybertronians, who have shared much of their technology with G.I. Joe's world.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_505a1021	type	The Farmer and the Viper
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_505a1021	comment	The Farmer and the Viper: An in-universe novel, allegedly based on the tale of one Gunner Androkles, tells of an Imperial Guardsman who, upon crash-landing among a primitive xeno tribe, is nursed back to health and treated like a friend by the aliens. He repays them by radioing the Imperium and giving them the tribe's location, leading to both the tribe and him being killed in the subsequent orbital bombardment. Naturally, to Imperial readers this is meant to come across as ''inspirational''; Ironhide just finds it horrifying.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_5080221	type	Faux Horrific
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_5080221	comment	Faux Horrific: Ironhide gets a cold sweat when he reads a mathematics book published by the Imperium, which just states mathematical definitions, theorems and corollaries without giving any actual proof. What particularly horrifies him are the implications: proving why mathematical theories work is the foundation for teaching people logic and how to think and prove things, and a book that just gives theories without proof and expects the reader to believe them unconditionally only primes the reader to follow any rule given to them without rational thought.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_50f66629	type	Crazy-Prepared
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_50f66629	comment	Crazy-Prepared: Ironhide thinks this of Flint when he needs to get up to a damaged sentry gun to quickly repair it, only to find that Flint had rigged up a climbing rope just for this occasion to save him a few seconds on the ascent.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_51beab21	type	Good Old Fisticuffs
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_51beab21	comment	Good Old Fisticuffs: Bazooka takes care of an Ork trying to grab a launcher by jumping out of a Chimera and socking the Ork in the face. Sergeant Slaughter, one of the greatest hand-to-hand combatants in the Joes, is only made deadlier when he dons a pair of Power Fists. He's even taken down a Meganob solo with his two armored hands.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_531bf681	type	BookWorm
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_531bf681	comment	Commissar Cadet Teela Kaltberg is a curious Book Worm who loves studying and writing reports, and has a strong bond with her Stormtrooper older brother Sean Kaltberg. Add their first initials to a scene in their childhood where she had purple-dyed hair and he had blue, and there are clear parallels to Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor. Not to mention, Sean is theorized to be in a relationship with his royal comrade Almadero, and when Almadero takes the throne of Cavitus, his first name is revealed to be Cadencio, making him the equivalent to Princess Cadance.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_537dd8fe	type	Affably Evil
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_537dd8fe	comment	Affably Evil: Colonel Rastapopoulos is always putting on a friendly, polite facade even as he engages in shameless war profiteering and political assassination. Many of G.I. Joe's allies among the Imperium qualify, even (or especially) Kaltberg. While they may have some redeeming qualities, and Kaltberg in particular is slowly overcoming her indoctrination, for the most part anyone native to the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millenium is A Lighter Shade of Black. For the genocidal racism against aliens if nothing else.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_54cc6b24	type	Le Parkour
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_54cc6b24	comment	Striker, Le Parkour expert, hand-to-hand combatant, and Jack of All Trades.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_55232afa	type	Politically Incorrect Hero
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_55232afa	comment	Politically Incorrect Hero: Implied. When Cross-Country makes his first appearance, Ironhide thinks that it's a good thing that someone took him aside and explained to him why it wasn't a good idea to wear the Confederate flag on his uniform.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_5539b84f	type	Corrupt Church
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_5539b84f	comment	Corrupt Church: The Ecclesiarchy is both obscenely wealthy, full of fanatics, and responsible in no small part for the horrific state of the Imperium. Its local leader on Cavitus, Bishop-Praetor Cortez, attempts to have countless thousands of underhive residents slaughtered as part of a plot to put his puppet on the throne of Cavitus. On top of that, he has been selling pilgrims into slavery for years.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_575fd5e2	type	Dark Is Not Evil
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_575fd5e2	comment	Dark Is Not Evil: Low-Light, G.I. Joe's night-time combat expert and best marksman, is noted as a fairly terrifying Cold Sniper who spends most of his time in the dark even off-duty. He's still as heroic as the rest of the team.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_57b74bd4	type	Achievements in Ignorance
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_57b74bd4	comment	Achievements in Ignorance: When Magos Gamma of Cavitus's Ad Mechanicus branch requested that Ironhide and Menlo show their capabilities by repairing an archeotech graviton gun, he didn't tell them that no Magos in centuries had been able to repair it, nor did he expect them to actually succeed.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_57b80b45	type	Fantastic Racism
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_57b80b45	comment	Fantastic Racism: In addition to the Imperium's uncompromising hatred for all aliens, it also despises mutants. On the world of Cavitus, G.I. Joe quickly runs into a marginalized minority of mutants (and those aren't even people transformed by the Warp, merely people with benign birth defects).
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_5ce2c9c6	type	Suddenly Shouting
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_5ce2c9c6	comment	Suddenly Shouting: The escaped Psyker Meridian Septentrion goes into a tirade the moment Ironhide gives him the excuse, venting a lifetime of frustration and stress under the Imperium.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_60194b82	type	Spanner in the Works
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_60194b82	comment	Spanner in the Works: G.I. Joe ends up disrupting the schemes of practically every faction on Cavitus.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_643659d4	type	Spit Take
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_643659d4	comment	Spit Take: Invoked - Poker Face gives a Commissar recaf (coffee), and General Hawk waits for the exact moment he drinks it to drop the following line:
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_648fe274	type	But for Me, It Was Tuesday
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_648fe274	comment	But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Corporal Diaz, a PDF gunner who fought alongside Ironhide in a battle against impossible Ork odds that still resulted in a total Joe victory, found the entire life-changing experience to be the most insane and intense ever to everyone in her unit, and asks if it was just Tuesday to the Joes. Ironhide says that it was a tense battle but concedes that he has experienced worse.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_6838a3ec	type	EliteMook
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_6838a3ec	comment	Elite Mook: The Kommandoes are this on the Orkish side, and the Tempestus Scionis (or just "stormtroopers") are this on the Imperium's side.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_693cabaf	type	Gladiator Games
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_693cabaf	comment	Gladiator Games: While the Joes are in the hive-city Ciudad, Duke, Scarlet and Jinx take the time to participate in the Coliseum and easily flatten the competition, including several battle servitors created by Magos Gamma himself, which was deliberate to make sure Magos Gamma's demonstration of his pet project falls flat on its face. And also making Ironhide and the Kaltberg siblings a mint in bet winnings.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_69cce3dc	type	Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_69cce3dc	comment	Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: Ironhide is pleased that with G.I. Joe's help, the Imperial Guard led by Colonel Rastapopoulos is close to breaking out of the Zeta Pocket where they'd been encircled by Ork forces. Poker Face has to talk him through the Imperial Guard's most likely actions (escape the pocket, move south to encircle the Orks), whereupon Ironhide realizes that Rastapopoulos would in the process abandon the northern flank and leave all civilians in the Zeta Pocket to be overrun by Orks.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_6d892421	type	Teacher/Student Romance
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_6d892421	comment	Amber, the martial arts student from "Lasers in the Night" that dated Quick Kick for a spell, became his student, wife and the close-combatant Moonboot, able to break metal with her bare hands and KO an entire Ork squad single-handedly. And got his habit of spouting movie quotes mid-combat.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7276d0de	type	Mugging the Monster
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7276d0de	comment	Mugging the Monster: More than a few underhive gangsters come to mug or menace the upperfolk coming into their turf, but G.I. Joe is so far out of their league they barely bat an eye at their attempts. Just as an example, when a group of gangsters come to menace Ironhide while he's helping out the local community, and a bystander tries to defend him:
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7453bc5b	type	Spared by the Adaptation
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7453bc5b	comment	Spared by the Adaptation: Advances in medical technology mean that President Ronald Reagan survives his Alzheimer's disease.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_745a226c	type	Easy Logistics
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_745a226c	comment	Easy Logistics: To a degree. G.I. Joe's interstellar warship The Flag of Unrelenting Justice has many fabricators onboard to produce whatever they need, as well as a Cybertronian spacebridge that allows easy supply to and from Earth. They have to be careful of overusing it lest the Imperium finds out about it.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_75c952bf	type	Our Presidents Are Different
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_75c952bf	comment	Our Presidents Are Different: US President Ronald Reagan, seen in an interlude, is both President Scheming and Jerkass in direct contrast to G.I. Joe. Having survived his Alzheimer's, used the Cobra War as pretext to repeal the 22nd Amendment (eliminate term limits), and rode to re-election on a cure for AIDS (despite him seeing the disease as "the wrath of God on homosexuals"), he is on his 4th term in office as the man who led the US through Cobra, the Deceptions, and the Soviet Union. However, in private, he and his Secretary of State Henry Kissinger do not think much of the idealistic General Hawk and even less about some of his Joes like the Ukrainian Turnabout, and reassure themselves that there are still ways to keep them in line.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_777baed3	type	Out-of-Character Alert
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_777baed3	comment	Out-of-Character Alert: When they first arrive on Rolande's world Devoir they quickly discover a priest who has been crucified for Heresy. Unwilling to let him be tortured to death, Ironhide and Bifrost claim they detect some kind of Tyranid corruption on him and take him away 'to be vivisected.' Unfortunately, while most Imperials find this completely plausible, Kaltberg immediately realizes that G.I. Joe doesn't do things like that and they are forced to tell her (a version of) the truth.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_794095d7	type	Boxed Crook
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_794095d7	comment	Boxed Crook: Major Bludd and Storm Shadow are the only two Cobra executives allowed out of prison to assist the Joes; Bludd to provide training to new recruits on Earth, Storm Shadow to join the regiment off-world.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7969f21e	type	No One Gets Left Behind
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7969f21e	comment	No One Gets Left Behind: In stark contrast to the Imperium, who'd abandon wounded troops if they were too injured to fight, G.I. Joe will take the time to rescue the wounded and bring them back to safety. Ironhide tells a skeptical Imperial soldier that it's a key element to their success; members will fight harder and take risks if they know their regiment and comrades-in-arms values their lives and will take equal risks to keep them safe, keeping morale high and the regiment effective. In a later mission, the Joes' assigned Commissar gets captured by Orks due to putting xeno-slaying Honor Before Reason and going Leeroy Jenkins, and one of the PDF troopers comments good riddance and makes to leave. Sergeant Slaughter grabs him and says they will get the commissar out, repeating his movie quote of "We all go home, or nobody goes home!"
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7b3352a9	type	Heroic Safe Mode
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7b3352a9	comment	Heroic Safe Mode: Ironhide and Menlo can barely keep themselves out of a Heroic BSoD when Magos Gamma shows them his legion of lobotomized, roboticized Battle Servitors, says he could swell their ranks with people taken from the underhives, and requests their help in getting G.I. Joe's support for a plan to do just that. They just manage to excuse themselves with grace and not hurl. And it gets even worse when they learn about arco-flagellants.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7b71737e	type	Closet Gay
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7b71737e	comment	Closet Gay: This may be the one aspect in which (some parts of) the Imperium of Man is more liberal than Organitron (which is basically 90s Earth) - several members of G.I. Joe have to hide their sexuality because their governments back on Earth wouldn't accept gay people in their military. This comes up when Ironhide teases Menlo over how flustered she gets from being flirted with by lesbian Imperial Rolande; Poker Face, General Hawk's administrative assistant, pulls him aside to chew him out.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7bd44eb9	type	Smart People Play Chess
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7bd44eb9	comment	Smart People Play Chess: Discussed alongside its counterpart Cunning People Play Poker, as Cadet Kaltberg, after losing a chess game to Flint, talks about how games like chess, poker and go can also apply to battlefield tactics, alongside the people who are good at them. Flint is a Rhodes scholar, an expert tactician and an international master at chess, experts at poker include field commander Duke, intelligence officers Scarlet and Lady Jaye, CIA operative Chuckles and lawyer Turnabout, while expert engineer Menlo and Lifeline, who has the brain for leadership, are both talented at go. A subversion, however, is General Hawk, who always loses to Flint at chess but is absolutely the better tactician, as his tactical specialty involves thinking outside the box and looking for the unexpected angles, which regimented games can't reflect as well as the battlefield.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7c6e6113	type	Original Character
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7c6e6113	comment	Original Character: A few of the newer Joe recruits are created from whole cloth. Paladin, ren-faire enthusiast and APC driver. Striker, Le Parkour expert, hand-to-hand combatant, and Jack of All Trades. Poker Face, General Hawk's new administrative assistant. Pendragon, British former union head, Hong Kong expat, anti-monarchist, and chosen wielder of Excalibur. There's a reason the British government wanted him with the Joes, in space and out of the public eye. Brimstone, ex-soldier and chaplain from the Congo under the Mobutu administration, whose role in G.I. Joe is to masquerade as G.I. Joe's regimental priest of the "Catholic Imperial Church" and handle the talking with any actual Ecclesiarchy bishops. Killshot, former Tzahal sniper. Whisper, Mexican stealth operative and commando.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7dbfa45b	type	Spy Speak
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7dbfa45b	comment	Spy Speak: When an entire regiment, which includes several intelligence experts, needs to conceal their intentions from their so-called superiors, this is bound to come up. If a Joe mentions "Crimson" and "Guard" in the same phrase (in a reference to Cobra's Praetorian Guard), this alerts other Joes that Imperial intelligence might be listening in and they need to be extra careful. Once the Joes get wind of an Assassinorum mission in the area, they sprinkle in names of other assassins like Lee Harvey Oswald and Ignacy Hryniewiecki into their messages to alert the others.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7e8ffd0d	type	Hide Your Otherness
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7e8ffd0d	comment	Hide Your Otherness: A number of Cavitus war refugees with birth defects are secretly provided with surgery by G.I. Joe to appear normal, to protect them from Imperial hatred of mutants.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7eb73553	type	Bullying a Dragon
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7eb73553	comment	Bullying a Dragon: During the expedition to the underhive, a group of gangers tries to cause trouble for Ironhide and Striker. At no point are they treated as any kind of threat.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7fab3dae	type	Pineapple Surprise
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7fab3dae	comment	Pineapple Surprise: As an unlucky Ork finds out, Spirit has taught his eagle Freedom not only how to throw grenades, but also how to steal grenade pins.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7fbb13bf	type	Unfriendly Fire
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_7fbb13bf	comment	When the AWOL Psyker G.I. Joe is tasked to retrieve turns out to be a witness to his Imperial Guard superior's crimes of Unfriendly Fire, G.I. Joe takes him into their ranks, changes his appearance, and gives his staff to the Imperial Guard as proof of his demise.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_80251be3	type	How We Got Here
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_80251be3	comment	How We Got Here: The chapter "The Fate of Cavitus" begins with Ironhide and his squad pinned down in Ork territory, with Bifrost suffering a concussion, and Ironhide wondering how they got here. It then flashes back to the Joes getting their mission briefing and setting off, followed by their aircraft getting downed by anti-air fire.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_82108e3d	type	Attack Its Weak Point
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_82108e3d	comment	Attack Its Weak Point: Ironhide is a technician and engineer, meaning he can identify the exact weak points on enemy machines like joints, ammo stores and fuel tanks, and his Powered Armor enhances his aim for him to either pull off said explosive shots, or spot for other sniping Joes to do it for him.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_86b21114	type	Badass Boast
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_86b21114	comment	Badass Boast: Ironhide gets a nice one when he sees a fresh-faced Guardsman trying to man an AA cannon, and as a Tech-Priest, tells him there's a problem with the cannon and he needs to get out. After the recruit gets out of his seat and Ironhide takes his place... A handful of underhive gangers try to threaten G.I. Joe's Ironhide and Striker. The latter two are... unconcerned.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_86d4f985	type	Doing In the Wizard
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_86d4f985	comment	Doing In the Wizard: For a specific instance; while the occasional Artificial Intelligence does exist in Imperial machines, for the most part, "machine-spirits" are not actually a thing and all the Adeptus Mechanicus's prayers and rituals to appease machines to perform basic functions are due to their lack of understanding of how technology actually works.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_87f943a7	type	Holding Back the Phlebotinum
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_87f943a7	comment	Holding Back the Phlebotinum: The Cybertronian technology available to Earth and G.I. Joe, such as FTL communication and space bridges, is leagues better than anything the Imperium has to offer (except maybe archeotech), but they have to keep usage of it limited and secret, lest the Imperium and their fanatical hatred of xenotech find out and fall on them like a ton of bricks. The Transmuter device that brought the Solar System to the W40K universe could technically be used to get them out again... but with no way to aim it, they could end up shunting everyone into a universe even less hospitable than their current one, like one full of antimatter. Trying to improve the device until it works reliably is a key goal of Project Ruby Slippers.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_885a5be7	type	Suffer the Slings
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_885a5be7	comment	Suffer the Slings: Forced into a Trial by Combat without his Power Armor, with an Expy of The Mountain wielding a Chain Sword no less, Ironhide is forced to improvise. He takes inspiration from an Organitron legend, crafting a golden sling bullet for extra mass, jacketed in steel.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_88699eee	type	Bargain with Heaven
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_88699eee	comment	Bargain with Heaven: It's mentioned that back on Organitron, the governments of Earth are negotiating a defense treaty with Horus and the Egyptian pantheon to defend the planet against any Chaos or daemonic incursions.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_8878f3be	comment	Badass Army: Take a guess.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_89631688	type	The Chosen One
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_89631688	comment	Pendragon, British former union head, Hong Kong expat, anti-monarchist, and chosen wielder of Excalibur. There's a reason the British government wanted him with the Joes, in space and out of the public eye.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_8b93a168	type	Macross Missile Massacre
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_8b93a168	comment	On a similar note, the Ork combiner Gargant is an airborne rocket-firing menace whose Wartrukk components mean that it can move around undetected, but its method of flight involves precariously balancing on all its boosters, meaning that once Ironhide works out which rockets to shoot out, it comes crashing down rather easily.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_8d0785d5	type	Didn't Think This Through
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_8d0785d5	comment	Didn't Think This Through: When Ironhide's squad gets pinned down by Orks because someone spotted a ziplining Lifeline, he suggests that someone lead them away on a Roof Hopping goose chase to give the others time to regroup. He loses his grin when Bifrost points out that the only one of them who is wearing red like Lifeline, is in the right place, and is equipped with Grasshopper Braces is Ironhide himself... for a moment before he steps up to the challenge.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_8ed5c6e4	type	Asshole Victim
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_8ed5c6e4	comment	In a later mission, the Joes' assigned Commissar gets captured by Orks due to putting xeno-slaying Honor Before Reason and going Leeroy Jenkins, and one of the PDF troopers comments good riddance and makes to leave. Sergeant Slaughter grabs him and says they will get the commissar out, repeating his movie quote of "We all go home, or nobody goes home!"
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_940a5958	type	Artificial Stupidity
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_940a5958	comment	Artificial Stupidity: It doesn't take Ironhide long to identify a big weakness in how battle servitors function: all the emotion-suppressing the servitors' implants need to do to keep them obedient also heavily suppress their human survival instincts, meaning if they (erroneously) decide that they need to do something insane, dangerous and counterintuitive to win a fight (like fire on their own position), they will do it without hesitation. And after Poker Face transmits his analysis to the Joes fighting in gladitorial combat against some of said battle servitors, Duke, Scarlet and Jinx soon have their opponents firing on each other.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_94d2506d	type	Can't Catch Up
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_94d2506d	comment	Can't Catch Up: Ironhide joined G.I. Joe in the later half of the Cobra War and is one of the newer members, and he finds it hard to shake off the impostor syndrome of doing feats comperable to the team veterans like Sci-Fi's laser tech and sniping or Mainframe's mastery of technology.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_963e36bd	type	Boarding School of Horrors
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_963e36bd	comment	Boarding School of Horrors: Cadet Commissar Kaltberg's description of her time at the Schola Progenium leads the Joes to realize the Schola is this taken to extremes.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_977a6ec0	type	Girl Friday
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_977a6ec0	comment	Poker Face, General Hawk's new administrative assistant.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_98a7ffba	type	Androids Are People, Too
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_98a7ffba	comment	Androids Are People, Too: The Joes certainly think so, having worked with the Autobots before. ...Not that they're stupid enough to say it where the Imperium can hear, of course.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9a68179	type	Holding the Floor
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9a68179	comment	Holding the Floor: Lifeline offers talk and medical treatment to an underhive gang (with Striker serving as his bodyguard), while Ironhide sneaks into their factory base to rig up a few suppression surprises.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9b5516f0	type	Showy Invincible Hero
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9b5516f0	comment	Showy Invincible Hero: The setup for this trope is here, with the stakes so high that a single defeat would mean the end of Earth (at the hands of their own "allies" the Imperium at best or any of the other factions at worst), and the Badass Army of G.I. Joe all set up with the skills, wits and smarts to outwit and defeat their opponents, save the day, and look awesome while doing so. So far, the first arcs on Cavitus with the Joes defeating the Ork invasion and committing a royal coup to replace the planetary leader with a more moralistic heir instead play this straight; time will tell if it will remain that way.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9bcd82c0	type	Took a Level in Badass
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9bcd82c0	comment	Took a Level in Badass: Planetary Defense Force soldiers are generally regarded as almost useless, but the group trained by Captain Madrigal (and later by Beachhead) is a cut above.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9c1f758a	type	Kill It with Fire
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9c1f758a	comment	Kill It with Fire: When the Hold the Line operation against an Ork warband transitions into urban warfare, Melta weapons, Hellhound tanks, and the flamethrower specialist Blowtorch take point to incinerate the enemy force en-masse. Ironhide's first weapon used against the Tyranids is a Heavy Flamer. Later, he borrows the auxiliary flamethrower tank of a wrecked Hellhound tank and uses it to incinerate a whole horde of Termagaunts.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9dab0a6e	type	Continuity Nod
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9dab0a6e	comment	Continuity Nod: Many references to previous episodes of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero are made.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9e943076	type	One-Man Army
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_9e943076	comment	Sergeant Slaughter, one of the greatest hand-to-hand combatants in the Joes, is only made deadlier when he dons a pair of Power Fists. He's even taken down a Meganob solo with his two armored hands.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a0797fb3	type	Stunned Silence
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a0797fb3	comment	Stunned Silence: When Ironhide defeats The Titan in a trial by combat, stabbing him in both eyes and declaring it was for the girl he raped, the crowd is shocked at the upset victory and the officiating priest can barely stammer out that the Emperor empowers the righteous.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a47340fe	type	One Riot, One Ranger
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a47340fe	comment	One Riot, One Ranger: Colonel Rustrod isn't happy that the Imperial regiment sent to reinforce him has less men than his daily recorded casualty rate - until one of said regiment snipes down three Ork Deffkoptas from over a mile away.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a5de0ab9	type	Polyamory
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a5de0ab9	comment	Polyamory: According to Lady Jaye, Scarlet is apparently dating both Duke and Snake-Eyes at the same time, and all three seem to be comfortable with this arrangement.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a65288e2	type	Ascended Extra
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a65288e2	comment	Ascended Extra: A few minor characters from some of the cartoon episodes become full Joes. Amber, the martial arts student from "Lasers in the Night" that dated Quick Kick for a spell, became his student, wife and the close-combatant Moonboot, able to break metal with her bare hands and KO an entire Ork squad single-handedly. And got his habit of spouting movie quotes mid-combat. Ali Razuli Jabal, monarch of Alwaha from the episode "Hearts and Cannons" that had his country liberated by Dusty and Footloose, becomes The Social Expert and diplomat Assault (with his country democratized, he can afford to be Active Royalty). Also, he married Dr. Winters, the expert on plasma weaponry. The Cobra chef B.A. Lacarr from "Raise the Flagg!" that managed to survive for a whole year inside a sunken ship becomes the engineer Bon Appetit, specializing in MacGyvering solutions out of anything, including Imperial archeotech.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a836a9b5	type	Character Witness
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a836a9b5	comment	Character Witness: During G.I. Joe's very first day on Cavitus, Ironhide's squad rescues a squad of Tempestus Scionis who are trapped behind enemy lines. During the climactic battle that concludes the war for Cavitus, the leader of that same Tempestus Scionis squad shows up to assist Ironhide and others.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a86069f	type	Alternate History
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_a86069f	comment	Alternate History: The Joes' world is in the 1990s, and History significantly diverged in the 80s with the arrival of the Cybertronians and the Cobra War.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_aabe2fb	type	Deliberate Values Dissonance
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_aabe2fb	comment	Ironhide notes that for all of the Imperium's hatred of xenos, aliens and mutants (even things as small as albinism or extra fingers), there is one thing that they're more progressive on than Earth and the US Army - attitudes towards LGBTQ individuals (keep in mind, this is happening during what would've been the 80s/90s). When Ironhide starts to make jokes about Menlo reciprocating Imperial Knight Rolande's advances, Poker Face pulls him aside, reminds him about what happened to Alan Turing, and tells him to not give General Hawk any knowledge that would legally require him to discharge any Joes.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ab68c5cc	type	Chronic Hero Syndrome
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ab68c5cc	comment	Chronic Hero Syndrome: Many members of G.I. Joe have this issue to some extent. Ironhide and Lifeline are both depressed by the fact that everything they did in the underhive only amounted to helping a tiny fraction of its people. On Ironhide's first day on the medieval world of Devoir, while undercover, he runs into a peasant demanding satisfaction for his raped daughter and murdered son at the hands of a knight, and when the knight's retinue declares a Trial by Combat, Ironhide steps up to be the peasant's champion.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_abc55125	type	Character Filibuster
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_abc55125	comment	Character Filibuster: Sometimes when Ironhide encounters some terrible behavior that the Imperium implements, he takes the time to think about and compare similar behaviors implemented in Earth's own societies. When talking with Teela about the slums of the hive cities and how sometimes the upper class want there to be a criminal underclass they can abuse with impunity, he thinks about how American politicians make it difficult to legally immigrate to the U.S., creating an underclass of undocumented immigrants that employers can underpay, whom cannot legally protest lest they be deported. When Teela discusses the wealthy Navigators and how they are abhumans, not mutants, yet are still disliked by the mutant-hating Ecclesiarchy, Ironhide mentally compares the hatred to how bigots on Earth particularly detest well-off minorities, with the Tulsa Massacre coming to mind. When talking about how cults of mutants that worship the Ruinous Powers are allegedly stirring in the underhive and that a mini-crusade needs to be sent against them, he and Lady Jaye bring up the Red Scare and the Japanese internment camps as parallels of governments vastly exaggerating the threat of internal traitors and implementing harsh measures for their own gain.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ac1e30d8	type	Red Scare
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ac1e30d8	comment	When talking about how cults of mutants that worship the Ruinous Powers are allegedly stirring in the underhive and that a mini-crusade needs to be sent against them, he and Lady Jaye bring up the Red Scare and the Japanese internment camps as parallels of governments vastly exaggerating the threat of internal traitors and implementing harsh measures for their own gain.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_aec63727	type	Pragmatic Hero
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_aec63727	comment	Pragmatic Hero: Out of necessity. There is no way Earth could hold off the endless legions of the Imperium if it came to a direct conflict, so the only solution is to become part of it and act as its loyal subjects. In order to survive as loyal members of the Imperial Guard, the Joes, while doing what good they can where they can, have to work alongside fascistic kings, bloody-minded Commissars, xenophobic bishops and Ad Mech Magi who'd eagerly convert millions of innocents into mindless servitors, even as they walk past the suffering billions in the underhives or the legal slaves in the Spires.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b02f996a	type	Town with a Dark Secret
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b02f996a	comment	Town with a Dark Secret: Inverted with Organitron (i.e. the Earth of G.I. Joe): The secret it must desperately hide is that it's not a dystopian hellhole ruled by authoritarianism, religious fanaticism, ignorance and hatred of aliens like the Imperium.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b1346878	type	Fate Worse than Death
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b1346878	comment	Fate Worse than Death: G.I. Joe considers being turned into an Arco-Flagellant to be this. Which is why they destroy all of Cortez's Arco-Flagellants when the opportunity presents itself.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b476bd85	type	Kidnapped Scientist
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b476bd85	comment	Kidnapped Scientist: Lampshaded; as Eriko Watanabe notices her fellow scientists and experts in Project Ruby Slipper, including Professor Mulaney, Doctor Penser, and Doctor Shakur, she thinks about how many of them had been abducted by Cobra at some point or another.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b51b5d	type	Deteriorates Into Gibberish
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b51b5d	comment	Deteriorates Into Gibberish: When Commissar Popov and his cadet Kaltberg meet up after their first missions alongside the Joes, they try to explain to each other what they saw but eventually just run out of words.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b55e8979	type	Science Hero
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_b55e8979	comment	Science Hero: POV character Ironhide, being a military engineer, is very much this... even if, to his annoyance, he has to pretend to be a Mechanicus Tech-Priest.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ba0e3912	type	Power Nullifier
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ba0e3912	comment	Power Nullifier: Bifrost's magical artifact, the Rainbow of Light, can be used as such against hostile psyker effects.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c1105f41	type	Hold the Line
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c1105f41	comment	When the Hold the Line operation against an Ork warband transitions into urban warfare, Melta weapons, Hellhound tanks, and the flamethrower specialist Blowtorch take point to incinerate the enemy force en-masse.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c37813c5	type	Ninja
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c37813c5	comment	Ninja: Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, Jinx, and arguably others such as La VipÃ¨re. G.I. Joe basically has its very own ninja division.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c63ff64e	type	Defusing the Tyke-Bomb
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c63ff64e	comment	Defusing the Tyke-Bomb: Ironhide and the Joes can easily see that Commissar Cadet Teela Kaltberg is a curious Book Worm who geeks out over libraries, has a close bond with her brother, and is devoted to her duty... who was also put through the Schola Progenium that indoctrinated her into following all orders unflinchingly, including the ones that got her to kill her classmate to prove her obedience. So, they do her best to not only keep her away from her more zealous Commissar superior, but also direct her into seeing the inefficiencies in the Imperium and the corruption of its topmost authority, to both redirect her focus into rooting out the worst offenders and become more open to Ironhide's more positive advice.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c6b3a885	type	Nap-Inducing Speak
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c6b3a885	comment	Nap-Inducing Speak: Variation. When Ironhide can't get to sleep before a big battle the next day, he breaks out the desperate measures - the book of Ecclesiarchy prayers. Five minutes of that is enough to cure his insomnia.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c75df49a	type	Shout-Out
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_c75df49a	comment	Shout-Out: The final defeat of Cobra in this timeline is called "The Day of the Broken Fang". The author takes some cues from The Prophet From Maine when in the middle of a mission, Ironhide steps up to be a peasant's champion in a Trial by Combat, against a monstrous brute of a knight that raped the peasant's daughter and killed his son.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_caf89e54	type	Taking You with Me
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_caf89e54	comment	Taking You with Me: Or at least, "with my ship"; after a Tyranid horde uses Flesh-borers to critically damage Lift-Ticket's Valkyrie, he manage to maneuver the Valkyrie to crash right on top of the Tyranid Warrior acting as its synapse creature, causing the horde to lose all coordination. And Bifrost is still able to get him out of the wreckage afterward.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_cb1f5db5	type	Feed It a Bomb
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_cb1f5db5	comment	Feed It a Bomb: On more than one occasion, a Joe has scored a kill on an Ork by throwing a grenade right into their mouth.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_cd809603	type	Tank Goodness
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_cd809603	comment	Tank Goodness: As classic of Warhammer 40k and the Imperium, the Joes get to pilot their tanks, from the Leman Russ to the Baneblade. And even Ironhide can't deny the thrill manning what amounts to a moving bunker and firebase.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_cf1b706e	type	Flat-Earth Atheist
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_cf1b706e	comment	Flat-Earth Atheist: Ironhide knows the Egyptian Gods are real - after all G.I. Joe once met them. But he doesn't worship them, he just considers them powerful and useful... as well as somewhat stupid and oblivious.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_cf92fea8	type	Cassandra Truth
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_cf92fea8	comment	Cassandra Truth: Ironhide doesn't believe Bifrost when she says that the rainbow-shooting amulet she wears is "the Rainbow of Light", obtained when she went to another land full of magical ponies.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_d137b509	type	Competence Porn
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_d137b509	comment	Competence Porn: While the failures and foibles of the Imperium in general and the Imperial Guard in particular are mostly played for drama, the contrasting hypercompetence of G.I. Joe is often played for laughs.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_d4f9a68f	type	DeadlyDecadentCourt
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_d4f9a68f	comment	Deadly Decadent Court: Cavitus, full stop. Between a tyrannical King who's using the Planetary Defense Force to keep his vassals in check instead of defending the planet and is trying to assassinate his nephew as a potential contender for his throne, the Bishop-Praetor who's trying to start a pogrom to put his puppet on the throne, the Mechanicus Magos who's playing politics in order to turn millions of underhivers into Battle Servitors, and the corrupt elements of the Imperial Guard, the planet's political chessboard is effectively ruled by Complete Monsters. Luckily, G.I. Joe runs across a royal heir with a good head on his shoulders that they can put on the throne themselves.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_d7fc9fd0	type	Vitriolic Best Buds
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_d7fc9fd0	comment	Vitriolic Best Buds: As in canon, the Marine Leatherneck and the Navy SEAL Wetsuit are always shooting barbs at each other, but Leatherneck will praise Wetsuit's competency while the latter is elsewhere doing his work, carry him out of an active combat zone, and continue to squabble when they both end up in the infirmary afterward.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_dae5c997	type	Action Girl
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_dae5c997	comment	Action Girl: G.I. Joe includes many of those, from canon characters like Lady Jaye and Scarlet to OCs like Bifrost and Paragon. To a lesser extent, Commissar Kaltberg - she isn't an over-the-top action hero like the Joes, but she's able to pull her weight in a fight, as expected of a Commissar.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_db6f4a5c	type	Parents Walk In at the Worst Time
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_db6f4a5c	comment	Parents Walk In at the Worst Time: Variant; Ironhide is mortified when his commanding officer General Hawk walks in on an Imperial Guard lieutenant trying to invite him to a brothel. While Ironhide is babbling that he was not trying to impugn the military's honor, Hawk reassures him that he was just rescuing him from an awkward conversation.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_dc7d219	type	Quality over Quantity
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_dc7d219	comment	Quality over Quantity: Oh, absolutely. The universe of Warhammer 40K frequently fields armies that number in the millions or more, whereas the G.I. Joe regiment has less than a thousand combat personnel. And yet with superior tactics and technology, they frequently pull off victories that inflict completely disproportionate casualties upon their opponents. As an example, a mission on Cavitus has G.I. Joe and a scant Planetary Defense Force defending a settlement about to be attacked by over 100,000 Orks, with no chance of reinforcement. Not only do the Joes completely wipe out the opposing force with no survivors, they take no fatalities of their own.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ddcc22c3	type	Archaic Weapon for an Advanced Age
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ddcc22c3	comment	Archaic Weapon for an Advanced Age: In wars of tanks, spaceships, lasers and cyborgs, there are Power Klaws, Power Swords, and Chainswords on the W40K side, and ninjas, swordsmen, martial artists and regular old brawlers on the G.I. Joe side.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_de02afbc	type	No MacGuffin, No Winner
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_de02afbc	comment	No MacGuffin, No Winner: Invoked. G.I. Joe tracks down a cache containing a Power Sword, but they are later accosted by General Leonidas's forces who want to claim it instead. When he doesn't listen to the argument that G.I. Joe is required to hand it over to the proper owner (like Sector Command), General Hawk orders Ironhide to destroy the sword if Leonidas doesn't back down. The Imperial general promptly shifts to negotiation tactics - which is what Hawk intended for all along.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_de999021	type	Rage Quit
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_de999021	comment	And to cap everything off, to destroy all the Ork hardware in the hangar, Ironhide hijacks a Gargant and starts blasting everything in sight while yelling in Ork, "ZOG THIS, IF I CANNA GET THAT FLASH BITZ, I'LL JUST TAKE ALL YER TEEF!"
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_dea1fec3	type	PullingTheThread
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_dea1fec3	comment	Pulling the Thread: On Cavitus, G.I. Joe discovering a mysterious sniper taking out Orks leads them to discover a secret struggle for the throne. On Devoir, Ironhide coming across a crucified brownrobe leads G.I. Joe to discover a conspiracy to destroy the planet's biosphere and kill countless innocents just to better exterminate the Tyranids and make Devoir's knights relevant.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_dfa40c1b	type	Didn't See That Coming
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_dfa40c1b	comment	Didn't See That Coming: The Imperial crusade to cleanse the Ciudad Underhive of "chaos-worshiping mutants" (in actuality a scheme for Bishop-Praetor Cortez to prop up his protÃ©gÃ© Viscount Aragon as a mutant-purging hero) runs into a snag when they get down there and encounter, not helpless civilians, but an entire Ork warband (secretly made out of Joe-manufactured synthoids).
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e2f7ab99	type	Assassin Outclassin'
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e2f7ab99	comment	Assassin Outclassin': When the Joes go to the jungles of Devoir, they find themselves hunted by Tyranid predators like burrowing Raveners and camouflaged Licters. But once jungle expert Recondo gets a feel for them, the Tyranids' ambush attempts end in them getting spotted and blown to pieces before they have a chance to strike.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e35ab565	type	Indy Ploy
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e35ab565	comment	Indy Ploy: One of G.I. Joe's strengths is its ability to come up with these very, very quickly.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e3d5ba34	type	Slippery Skid
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e3d5ba34	comment	Slippery Skid: Apparently, a barrel of machine oil and ball bearings is enough to take down a Mega Dread. Much to the accompanying Imperials' disbelief. Ironhide also makes effective use of some round seeds against a heavily armored knight he can't afford to face in melee.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e43b42ea	type	We Need a Distraction
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e43b42ea	comment	On Ironhide's first mission, his squad needs to preoccupy a whole airfield of Ork pilots, so he breaks into their communications, disguises his voice and tells them about a contest that requires the toughest Ork pilot around, prompting the pilots to start beating the tar out of each other.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e5421161	type	Expy
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e5421161	comment	Expy: A couple of Joe recruits are taken from the author's other works: the French swordsman Bleu-Blanc-Rouge comes from his superhero universe The Avatar's World and the genius technician Menlo is another version of the Tinker protagonist of The Electrifying Adventures of Doctor Menlo. Also, Eriko Watanabe from Saga of Soul shows up as a programming consultant for Project Ruby Slipper. Fyodor Ryabov a.k.a. Turnabout is basically Ukrainian Phoenix Wright in his hobo phase - Turnabout, after being disbarred by the Soviet regime, proceeded to mastermind its downfall. Paragon is a German Commander Shepard (female). Colonel Rastapopoulos is, well, Rastapopoulos as a military officer with political ambition instead of an international smuggling tycoon with ambition. Commissar Cadet Teela Kaltberg is a curious Book Worm who loves studying and writing reports, and has a strong bond with her Stormtrooper older brother Sean Kaltberg. Add their first initials to a scene in their childhood where she had purple-dyed hair and he had blue, and there are clear parallels to Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor. Not to mention, Sean is theorized to be in a relationship with his royal comrade Almadero, and when Almadero takes the throne of Cavitus, his first name is revealed to be Cadencio, making him the equivalent to Princess Cadance. When the Joes land on the medieval-age world of Devoir, some of the nobles take inspiration from A Song of Ice and Fire: The Greater House of Lamedor is a major player on this planet, gets its wealth from praseodymium mines, has saber-toothed tigers as their house symbol, and its head, Tyrant Lamedor, is a ruthless political and military genius. It's not hard to see the resemblances to House Lannister and its head, Tywin. One of Lamedor's vassal oath-blades (knights) is a monster of a man called "The Titan" with a proclivity for rape and murder, in a clear reference to "the Mountain" Gregor Clegane.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e563bf09	type	Insistent Terminology
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e563bf09	comment	Insistent Terminology: G.I. Joe will sometimes refer to Orks as "bogeys", but never as "greenskins".
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e6f18344	type	Humongous Mecha
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e6f18344	comment	Humongous Mecha: Both of the Imperium's side (such as Rolande's Knight) and the Orks' side (such as Gargants). Ironhide reflects that Cobra experimented with those, before concluding that they were just not cost-effective.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e8a6e896	type	The Battlestar
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e8a6e896	comment	The Battlestar: The Flag of Unrelenting Justice serves as G.I. Joe's warship and mobile base while they are serving on Imperial fronts across the galaxy, named as both a tribute to the original Flagg aircraft carrier and to fit Imperial naming conventions without sounding too fanatic. Although it only qualifies as an Escort ship by Imperial standards (and it's a Mile-Long Ship already), it's a dedicated escort carrier that can house full complements of Thunderbolt Space Fighters and Marauder bombers, while still hosting a fair amount of cannons for Standard Starship Scuffles or Orbital Bombardment, allowing it to destroy ships that outmass and outgun it several times over. And that's not counting the Cybertronian technology secretly installed into it, like a working spacebridge.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e9269f72	type	It Was Here, I Swear!
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e9269f72	comment	It Was Here, I Swear!: Bishop-Praetor Cortez can't believe Viscount Aragorn when according to him, the holy crusade army he marched into the Underhive to clear of mutants instead ran into an Ork warband (when the hive city is miles away from the front line of any Ork fighting), which the crusaders somehow fought off while barely suffering any casualties (aside from all the arco-flagellants they brought with them), and although they didn't burn the bodies, somehow all the corpses vanished after they left. Given that G.I. Joe evacuated all the underhive civilians in the crusaders' path beforehand, constructed an entire battalion of Ork synthoids that were programmed to fight nonlethally except against the arco-flagellants, and spread rumors that Aragon wanted to sell off the arco-flagellants to rivals, this was all deliberate to torpedo Cortez's plan to build up Aragon as an Emperor-serving defender.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e92841f	type	Talking the Monster to Death
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e92841f	comment	Talking the Monster to Death: Literally; on at least one occasion, Turnabout manages to talk a group of Orks into shooting themselves by convincing them the best fight is in the afterlife.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e96475ec	type	Excalibur
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_e96475ec	comment	Excalibur: Wielded by Pendragon, a Hong Kong-born recent G.I. Joe recruit.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_eb04f8d5	type	Fascist, but Inefficient
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_eb04f8d5	comment	Fascist, but Inefficient: Ironhide finds it very easy to look at the tactics used by the Imperial Guard and the Imperium as a whole and compare them to the worst of the Nazis and Cobra - as well as how the use of these draconian tactics and allowing corruption to run rampant are actually putting them at a disadvantage against the Imperium's enemies. For example, two Imperial Guard colonels are in a vitriolic Interservice Rivalry and even actively lob Unfriendly Fire at each other, but General Leonidas keeps deploying their regiments to the same front because they are politically connected and their feud keeps them too busy to plot against him.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_eb7c34cf	type	Crossover
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_eb7c34cf	comment	Crossover: Between G.I. Joe / Warhammer 40,000, obviously, but there are other Hasbro properties in the mix. Transformers are explicitly part of G.I. Joe's home dimension, and much of the technology G.I. Joe use is Cybertronian in nature... even if the Transformers don't show up in the quest proper. Bifrost is is Megan Williams, years after her adventures in Dream Valley, having grown up and joined G.I. Joe late in the war with Cobra. Also, her siblings Danny and Molly appear as magic consultants for Project Ruby Slipper, and the Ponies have also offered the use of the Heart of Ponyland to power Earth's defenses against Chaos, with Wind Whistler as a representative and consultant. One of the magic consultants for Project Ruby Slipper, the global initiative to get Earth back to their own dimension, is Albert "Presto" Preston, who has first-hand experience of being stuck in another world. Dungeon Master is also working with the Egyptian God Horus, Dr. March, and Wind Whistler to defend Earth from Chaos. Jem and the Misfits' songs play on the radio at one point.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ec40626	type	Love Martyr
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ec40626	comment	Love Martyr: An uncomfortable implication between Commissar Cadet Kaltberg and her superior Commissar Popov. She takes aspersions to her superior's character very personally, and in an internal monologue, she is rather relieved that his work with the Joes has kept him too busy to summon her to his tent at night. Other private conversations from the Joes imply that keeping Popov busy is a deliberate action on their part.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ece6f910	type	Moment Killer
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ece6f910	comment	Moment Killer: During lunchtime, Ironhide sees Mainframe and Zarana at a table, and sits with them to give them a mission update. It takes him a while to notice them starting to glare at him and figure out the reason why, whereupon he excuses himself in embarrassment.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f06b07ff	type	Locked Out of the Loop
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f06b07ff	comment	Locked Out of the Loop: When a Joe team including Ironhide are given a side-mission to search for a lost Power Sword ostensibly from a Rogue Trader dynasty, they aren't informed of the true specifics of the mission due to rumors of mind-reading Psykers under General Leonidas's command (and even concealed an Imperial bug from Dial-Tone so as to not raise suspicions). They are only debriefed after the mission that they stole the Power Sword from King Cortoban, spread rumors about it being lost, and when Leonidas arrived to claim it from them, they gave it to him in exchange for him looking into Bishop-Praetor Cortez and Viscount Aragon, as part of their plan to aim all their attentions at each other.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f438b11b	type	Who's Laughing Now?
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f438b11b	comment	Who's Laughing Now?: General Leonidas considered General Hawk a useful catspaw due to his apparent political ineptitude, but when Leonidas is under arrest due to G.I. Joe framing him for stealing from King Cortoban, he screams for Hawk to let him out, only for Hawk to coldly say that while he might benefit from Leonidas's connections, the idea of a General Ripper like him in charge of the lives of millions of soldiers is just not something he can accept.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f56aeb67	type	Alien Invasion
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f56aeb67	comment	Alien Invasion: Cavitus, the first Imperium world G.I. Joe is deployed to, has been fighting an Ork invasion for three decades by that point. The Joes' native world underwent its own invasion years earlier in the form of the Decepticons, but helped the Autobots repel them.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f617419c	type	Trial by Combat
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f617419c	comment	Trial by Combat: A G.I. Joe classic. Ironhide breaks cover on a knight world, becoming the champion of a tavern keeper whose daughter was raped and her son murdered by a sworn knight. The tavern keeper made the mistake of publicly accusing him, which allowed the knight - in bulletproof armor and wielding a chain sword - to challenge him to trial by combat. Ironhide steps up as his champion.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f7588306	type	Reverse Psychology
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f7588306	comment	Reverse Psychology: How does General Hawk implement a military arrangement which Imperial Guard Colonel Rastapopoulos would veto? By getting one of his political rivals to publically oppose his suggestion, whereupon Rastapopoulos, seeing the opportunity to undercut them, would wholeheartedly support Hawk over his rival.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f865d93d	type	Deceptively Human Robots
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f865d93d	comment	In the beginning of the war, Earth got on the Imperium expedition's good side and demonstrated the military prowess of G.I. Joe by manufacturing an entire squadron of Ork synthoids and having them "attack" Earth, only to be driven off by the Joes in a re-enactment of some of their greatest battles against Cobra. This tactic is again replicated to stymie Cortez's pogrom on the Cavitus underhives, by first getting the civilians out of the way and then creating a fake Ork warband out of synthoids to intercept the crusaders. Towards the end of the Joes' time on Cavitus, the Assassinorum agents are informed of another assignment and leave in disguise for Kiboutan, while elsewhere, Chuckles sighs at how boring it was to monitor their communication protocols for months in order to mimic them.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f9876f7e	type	Faking the Dead
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_f9876f7e	comment	Faking the Dead: When the Joes get wind of the Officio Assassinorum putting out a hit on Captain Madrigal (an incognito son of Archduke Almadero) on Colonel Rastapopoulos's orders, they decide to help him out by replacing him with a synthoid that the assassins would kill in his place. When the AWOL Psyker G.I. Joe is tasked to retrieve turns out to be a witness to his Imperial Guard superior's crimes of Unfriendly Fire, G.I. Joe takes him into their ranks, changes his appearance, and gives his staff to the Imperial Guard as proof of his demise. The Joes' regime change operation on Cavitus climaxes in King Cortoban arresting General Leonidas, claiming in public that he had Leonidas killed in custody, and then being sniped by an Assassinorum agent. In reality, the Joes had again used synthoids to stage the public assassinations, and had Cortoban, Leonidas, and Rastapopoulos shipped to Earth in custody.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_fbc1a68d	type	Low Clearance
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_fbc1a68d	comment	Low Clearance: Alpine takes out a group of Orks on Warbikes this way, by shooting a grappling hook to a nearby attachment point and clotheslining the entire group.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_fc9cd837	type	Technology Uplift
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_fc9cd837	comment	Technology Uplift: Discussed and defied - thanks to the Autobots, G.I. Joe has access to technology that could significantly alter the galactic balance of power in the hands of the Imperium (such as reliable faster-than-light travel and communication). However, they decide against sharing that technology with the Imperium, both because of the Imperium's fanatical rejection of xenotech, and because, well, they don't want to make a fascistic, tyrannical empire better at being fascistic. They do, however, reverse-engineer Baneblade tanks and teach Magos Castillo how to build them, as part of their plan for regime change on Cavitus.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_fccd06b6	type	Beware the Nice Ones
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_fccd06b6	comment	Beware the Nice Ones: Bifrost, one of the newer Joes. She may look like a fresh-faced recruit out of ROTC wearing rainbow patches and a horsehair bracelet, and one of her specialties may be hostage negotiation (she once talked a group of Cobra troops into defecting), but said negotiation is also good at getting in her opponent's heads, and her other specialty is counter-sorcery, possessing a rainbow-shooting magic relic that can incinerate Weirdboyz and match the worst dark magic Cobra could get its hands on. Oh, and if you want to know who she is, she calls that relic the Rainbow of Light.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_fd5603b	type	MacGyvering
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_fd5603b	comment	The Cobra chef B.A. Lacarr from "Raise the Flagg!" that managed to survive for a whole year inside a sunken ship becomes the engineer Bon Appetit, specializing in MacGyvering solutions out of anything, including Imperial archeotech.
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In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ff7f34c5	type	Pet the Dog
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic) / int_ff7f34c5	comment	Pet the Dog: Literal example; General Hawk turns down rejuvenat treatments that would keep him young on grounds of professional ethics but does agree to provide it to the members of G.I. Joe who are at risk of aging out of service - the Joe animal companions like Junkyard and Order.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	hasFeature	Bargain with Heaven / int_55f4b47d
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	hasFeature	Chronic Hero Syndrome / int_55f4b47d
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	hasFeature	Deliberate Values Dissonance / int_55f4b47d
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	hasFeature	Fanfics of 2022â€“2023 / int_55f4b47d
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	hasFeature	Mind over Manners / int_55f4b47d
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	hasFeature	Reverse Psychology / int_55f4b47d
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	hasFeature	Science Hero / int_55f4b47d
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	hasFeature	Smart People Play Chess / int_55f4b47d
In the Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium, Nobody Beats G.I. Joe! (Fanfic)	hasFeature	Town with a Dark Secret / int_55f4b47d

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