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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
type
TVTItem
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
label
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
page
TheOnionBookOfKnownKnowledge
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
comment
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is a mock encyclopedia by The Onion. Entries go from A to Z, including an extra letter made up for the book.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
fetched
2024-04-11T15:30:33Z
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
parsed
2024-04-11T15:30:33Z
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
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Dropped link to DisabilitySuperpower: Not a Feature - IGNORE
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
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Dropped link to Greed: Not a Feature - ITEM
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
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Dropped link to LampshadedTrope: Not a Feature - UNKNOWN
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
processingComment
Dropped link to MobyDick: Not a Feature - ITEM
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
processingComment
Dropped link to ShaggyDogStory: Not a Feature - ITEM
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
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LampshadedTrope
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
isPartOf
DBTropes
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_141a6acb
type
Madness Mantra
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_141a6acb
comment
Madness Mantra: Under the letter “L� is the word “lonely� repeated over and over again.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_141a6acb
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_141a6acb
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_175683fa
type
Staging an Intervention
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_175683fa
comment
Staging an Intervention: The entry for addiction is this for the reader.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_175683fa
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_175683fa
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1779f10e
type
"Well Done, Son" Guy
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1779f10e
comment
"Well Done, Son" Guy: Baseball consists of two teams of nine players, all of whom desperately want to make their fathers proud.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1779f10e
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1779f10e
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b4ea159
type
The Alibi
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b4ea159
comment
During the Nuremberg trials, the Nazis who were on trial said they didn't aid in the Holocaust as they were out of town, on vacation, or otherwise busy during the entirety of World War II.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b4ea159
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b590025
type
Dead All Along
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b590025
comment
Dead All Along: According to the entry on death, the real purpose of the book is to inform the reader that they are currently dead, and the world in which they currently exist is a figment of their dying brain.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b590025
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b590025
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1ba09c9d
type
Human Resources
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1ba09c9d
comment
Human Resources: Coal is made of the compressed remains of perished coal miners whose bodies decompose over thousands of years.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1ba09c9d
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1d8733d3
type
Overly Narrow Superlative
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1d8733d3
comment
Overly Narrow Superlative: Elevators account for 85 percent of the world’s slow vertical movement.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1d8733d3
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f4a5154
type
Fat, Sweaty Southerner in a White Suit
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f4a5154
comment
Fat, Sweaty Southerner in a White Suit: The editor claims John W. Paramore might be one.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f4a5154
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f8cdb5c
type
Who Shot JFK?
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f8cdb5c
comment
Who Shot JFK?: The entry on the Zapruder Film says that recently discovered missing frames reveal that Kennedy actually shot himself.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f8cdb5c
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_217a1adf
type
I Love the Dead
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_217a1adf
comment
I Love the Dead: Paul Newman could get any woman he wants, despite being dead.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_217a1adf
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_21bde5e8
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The Tooth Hurts
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_21bde5e8
comment
The Tooth Hurts: The instant an individual falls asleep without brushing, their teeth start to rapidly decay.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_21bde5e8
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_21bde5e8
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_237569e4
type
Ironic Hell
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_237569e4
comment
Ironic Hell: Osama bin Laden is in a dimension of hell where he's the sole mail-room clerk in the still-standing World Trade Center, the elevators are always out of order, and he must carry numerous filing cabinets, televisions, and couches up the stairs all by himself.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_237569e4
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_23d6eccb
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Non-Mammal Mammaries
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_23d6eccb
comment
Non-Mammal Mammaries: The volupturaptor was a buxom dinosaur that lived during the late Chestaceous Period.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_23d6eccb
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2547b359
type
Real Dreams are Weirder
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2547b359
comment
Real Dreams are Weirder: Inverted. While Salvador Dali’s works were meant to resemble the surreal aspect of dreams, he actually dreamt about things such as winning the lottery and being a rock star.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2547b359
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_26d18908
type
Puny Earthlings
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_26d18908
comment
Puny Earthlings: Storms serve as a meteorological reminder that humans are soft, weak, and ill-suited for survival anywhere.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_26d18908
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_26d18908
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27006e86
type
People Zoo
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27006e86
comment
People Zoo: Lying is the act of propagating beliefs that are not true in order to prevent civilizations from knowing they are actually in a type of zoo.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27006e86
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_272abb98
type
Shoot the Shaggy Dog
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_272abb98
comment
Shoot the Shaggy Dog: The scholars who died gathering information on their entry—and many hundreds did—were within 48 hours replaced with a new academic who was forced to start entirely from scratch.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_272abb98
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27725a69
type
Nice Character, Mean Actor
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27725a69
comment
Nice Character, Mean Actor: Discussed; The actor who played Andy Griffith was ‘’probably’’ a terrible person.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27725a69
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2804d516
type
Master of None
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2804d516
comment
Master of None: Benjamin Franklin was a man of many talents, but he ultimately spread himself too thin and never truly accomplished any one full objective.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2804d516
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28a7a9cd
type
Sentient Vehicle
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28a7a9cd
comment
Sentient Vehicle: The Amazon Rain Forest is populated by these.
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28f852ea
type
Wholesome Crossdresser
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28f852ea
comment
Wholesome Crossdresser: Martha Washington was actually a character created by George Washington, who dressed as a comical woman to entertain and improve the morale of his troops, and later, his Cabinet.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28f852ea
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28f852ea
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_294ed981
type
Bilingual Bonus
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_294ed981
comment
Bilingual Bonus: The preface has "A note to our Filipino readers"◊, which is in Tagalog. The entry for fascism starts to define it normally, before Suddenly Shouting in Italian. The entry for lorem ipsum◊ is in Latin. The entry for Cthulhu◊ is in r'lyehian.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_294ed981
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2b851bd4
type
The Scrooge
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2b851bd4
comment
The Scrooge: The writer for the entry on capitalism is consumed by his own greed while explaining the fundamentals of the economic system.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2b851bd4
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cb9b1a9
type
Cool, but Inefficient
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cb9b1a9
comment
Cool, but Inefficient: People sprayed acid on cars to clean them and lit them on fire to dry them before anyone realized water and towels were probably an easier solution.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cb9b1a9
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cd322e4
type
Shoot the Builder
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cd322e4
comment
Shoot the Builder: Once the book was finished, all the scholars were then murdered to prevent the information they gathered from being spread to competing encyclopedias.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cd322e4
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2d39663b
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Fratbro
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2d39663b
comment
Fratbro: College itself was one.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2d39663b
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31578d72
type
Hates Everyone Equally
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31578d72
comment
Hates Everyone Equally: It is foolish to judge people by their race, as it would be much more accurate to judge people by how stupid they look in general.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31578d72
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31f344c7
type
In Memoriam
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31f344c7
comment
In Memoriaminvoked: The letter V is dedicated to one of the copy editors.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31f344c7
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_334b7f3a
type
Cryptic Background Reference
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_334b7f3a
comment
Cryptic Background Reference: The date of June 26, 1997 is referred to as “Dark Thursday.� What took place at the time is never revealed, with the only hint being it was “the blackest and most terrible day in American history.�
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_334b7f3a
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_33f067ea
type
So Okay, It's Average
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_33f067ea
comment
So Okay, It's Averageinvoked: Chicago is an alright place to live.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_33f067ea
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_36c73fcf
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It Always Rains at Funerals
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_36c73fcf
comment
It Always Rains at Funerals: Rain is an aesthetic phenomenon that accentuates breakups and funerals.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_36c73fcf
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_393ec3f9
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Zeerust
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_393ec3f9
comment
Zeerust: The World’s Fair is an international exhibition series filled with lies about the future.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_393ec3f9
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3b5fcbb7
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Artifact of Doom
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3b5fcbb7
comment
Artifact of Doom: The Washington Monument eradicates all life on the planet every 2 million years.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3b5fcbb7
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c0a4666
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Noodle Incident
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c0a4666
comment
Noodle Incident: Dark Thursday was the blackest and most terrible day in American history. A godmother is a woman entrusted to care for a child in the event both parents died in a freak accident involving a tandem inner tube, a wide turn, and a jetty. At the end of the book is a list of fees, one of which is $109.96. Absolutely horrible things were done to the cornea during the The Spanish Inquisition.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c0a4666
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c14f642
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Force-Field Door
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c14f642
comment
Force-Field Door: The foul line in baseball Highly charged electrical barrier that disintegrates any player who attempts to cross it.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c14f642
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3d85c6bc
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Black Speech
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3d85c6bc
comment
Black Speech: The entry for Cthulhu is in r'lyehian, an evil language from the Cthulhu Mythos.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3d85c6bc
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3e8d9cd3
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Historical Hero Upgrade
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3e8d9cd3
comment
Historical Hero Upgrade: Happens a few times, usually played for laughs. For example, Leon Czolgosz shot William McKinley by accident while trying to get him to autograph his gun.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3e8d9cd3
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3ea462d7
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Take That, Audience!
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3ea462d7
comment
Take That, Audience!: The book starts insulting the reader right from the second sentence. Zweibel says this of Onion readers: This is, of course, the motto of The Onion, Tu Stultus Est note You Are Dumb
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3ea462d7
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3eee0728
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Captain Obvious
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3eee0728
comment
Captain Obvious: Ludwig van Beethoven would've had an easier time writing music had he not gone deaf.
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3f0b2f50
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Make It Look Like an Accident
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3f0b2f50
comment
Make It Look Like an Accident: Implied; T. Herman Zweibel assumed editorial directorship of The Onion in late 1888 after a mysterious series of logjams, paper mill accidents, boiler explosions, and servant uprisings eliminated all other candidates for the post.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3f0b2f50
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_40bb59d0
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Blatant Lies
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_40bb59d0
comment
Blatant Lies: Each entry contains precisely 27 letter E's. Adulthood is a stage in one's life where one learns exactly what they want and takes all necessary steps to achieve their goals. Star Wars is a silly old children's film that has no cultural significance whatsoever. A flame thrower is a non-lethal device used primarily for crowd-control. All forms of criminal justice have a 100% success rate the people have the power in the democratic government Elections are a highly-celebrated process in which all voters take pride in the fact that their well-researched ballot casts will contribute to the greater good. The great pacific garbage patch was caused entirely by sealife polluting their own ocean. During the Nuremberg trials, the Nazis who were on trial said they didn't aid in the Holocaust as they were out of town, on vacation, or otherwise busy during the entirety of World War II. Bill Clinton was not impeached by House Republicans because that would have been a laughable waste of time.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_40bb59d0
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_41be2c1b
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Spoiler Title
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_41be2c1b
comment
Spoiler Title: In-Universe, with the book “Lord Murderson Is The Killer.�
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_41be2c1b
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42008602
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Story Arc
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42008602
comment
Story Arc: Anders Van Braak and sonic-neural technology.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42008602
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_424c9a9b
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Cold-Blooded Torture
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_424c9a9b
comment
Silly Putty was originally designed to tear the skin off of enemy prisoners. Then it was discovered it could be used as a fun toy for children.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_424c9a9b
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42995bec
type
Spell Book
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42995bec
comment
Spell Book: The Bible is full of spells such as re-animating the dead or cursing an enemy.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42995bec
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42995bec
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42995bec
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42c9f1ec
type
Downplayed Trope
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42c9f1ec
comment
Archery is the practice of using a bow to shoot an arrow into a little brother’s back. Downplayed in that it’s merely an arrow, and not a gun.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42c9f1ec
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42c9f1ec
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42c9f1ec
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42eb0460
type
Going Postal
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42eb0460
comment
Going Postal: Implied in the entry for chainsaw, which one puts under their desk before work begins early in the morning.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42eb0460
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42eb0460
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42eb0460
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45a559cf
type
Wardrobe Malfunction
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45a559cf
comment
Wardrobe Malfunction: Implied. Nipples have the ability to temporarily reignite an actress’s career.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45a559cf
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45a559cf
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45a559cf
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45ad2569
type
Vagueness Is Coming
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45ad2569
comment
Vagueness Is Coming: The Black Death wiped out as much as 60 percent of Western civilization in the 14th century, but pales in comparison to what’s coming.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45ad2569
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45ad2569
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45cd286c
type
Corrupt Politician
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45cd286c
comment
Corrupt Politician: Warren G. Harding, who among other things gave the Grand Canyon to his cousin, sold West Virginia to a German coal company and signed the Harding’s Buddy Is Getting 25 Percent of Our Tax Money Now Act.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45cd286c
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45cd286c
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45cd286c
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_48f282a3
type
Alternate Aesop Interpretation
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_48f282a3
comment
Alternate Aesop Interpretationinvoked: The September 11th attacks will forever stand as a lesson to how we view religion, freedom, homeland security, oil consumption, or one of several other things.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_48f282a3
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_48f282a3
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_48f282a3
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4a9c731e
type
When Trees Attack
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4a9c731e
comment
When Trees Attack: Photosynthesis involves trees pulling humans underground with their strong roots and sucking them up into their trunks to harvest their nutrients. Defied. The purpose of a vase is to display dead flowers as a stark warning to any other plants that might be planning a revolution to take over the human race.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4a9c731e
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4a9c731e
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4a9c731e
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4c6205c5
type
New Technology Is Evil
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4c6205c5
comment
New Technology Is Evil: Discussed The entry for technology doesn’t complain about modern dependance on technology, but rather the people who do.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4c6205c5
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4c6205c5
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4c6205c5
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4f6cf75
type
Mirroring Factions
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4f6cf75
comment
Mirroring Factions: Atheism is a belief in which one deeply devotes oneself to the nearly nonstop studying, writing, thinking, and talking about God. The Democratic and Republican parties have the exact same entry, with the only difference being the parties are swapped out for each other.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4f6cf75
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4f6cf75
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_504a1991
type
Body Horror
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_504a1991
comment
Body Horror: Fashion was developed to disguise mutations in human anatomy, which are shown in grisly detail. Puberty is a stage in human development where fully functioning limbs sprout from the torso◊.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_504a1991
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_504a1991
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_504a1991
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_52aa0c4a
type
The Caligula
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_52aa0c4a
comment
The Caligula: James Buchanan spent his entire presidency holding monumental orgies and bloody gladiator tournaments.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_52aa0c4a
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_52aa0c4a
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_52aa0c4a
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5541da8c
type
Lotus-Eater Machine
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5541da8c
comment
Lotus-Eater Machine: Western Civilization was nearly ruined in the mid-1990s when almost every American dropped everything in their lives for a few years and strapped on virtual reality headsets from morning until night.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5541da8c
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5541da8c
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5541da8c
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55473bc9
type
CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55473bc9
comment
CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable: Inverted. CPR is a brutal process in which the user breaks bones to allow the heart and lungs more room to function, punctures holes in the throat with a screwdriver to facilitate airflow, and other equally graphic steps◊.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55473bc9
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55473bc9
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55b1f9a1
type
Easy Amnesia
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55b1f9a1
comment
Easy Amnesia: Amnesia is caused and solved by hitting someone on the head.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55b1f9a1
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55b1f9a1
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55b1f9a1
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5892169d
type
Absurd Phobia
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5892169d
comment
Absurd Phobia: Downplayed. T. Herman Zweibel had a profound mistrust of barbers, but was not necessarily afraid of them.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5892169d
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5892169d
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5892169d
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_58e008c
type
Sharing a Body
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_58e008c
comment
Sharing a Body: A five-star general is a two-star general and three-star general trapped inside the same body.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_58e008c
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_58e008c
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_58e008c
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_59196f87
type
Baby Talk
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_59196f87
comment
Baby Talk: The entry on Coca-Cola is written in this.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_59196f87
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_59196f87
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_59196f87
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5a59b3a1
type
Hulk Speak
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5a59b3a1
comment
Hulk Speak: The entry on Creator/Plato is written in this.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5a59b3a1
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5a59b3a1
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5a59b3a1
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5ce2c9c6
type
Suddenly Shouting
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5ce2c9c6
comment
The entry for fascism starts to define it normally, before Suddenly Shouting in Italian.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5ce2c9c6
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5ce2c9c6
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5ce2c9c6
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5e52adb8
type
Sunken City
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5e52adb8
comment
Sunken City: In the future, all of Earth will be underwater.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5e52adb8
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5e52adb8
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5e52adb8
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fce7196
type
Scare Quotes
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fce7196
comment
Scare Quotes: $142.5 million were devoted to research, while another $84 million were devoted to "research."
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fce7196
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fce7196
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fce7196
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fcedca
type
Big Eater
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fcedca
comment
Big Eater: South Dakota resident Marcus Seltz is someone who can "take down a bucket of crab legs like a freaking combine."
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fcedca
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fcedca
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fcedca
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6363937b
type
Cyanide Pill
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6363937b
comment
Cyanide Pill: In a diagram explaining the various parts of the cell, the centriole is described as always having 1.5 atoms of cyanide in case the cell is captured before it can divide.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6363937b
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6363937b
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6363937b
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6376ae9c
type
Phlebotinum Killed the Dinosaurs
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6376ae9c
comment
Phlebotinum Killed the Dinosaurs: The shadow cast from a colossal azalea bush◊ shrouded half of the planet in darkness for 2,000 years, causing the famous mass extinction event.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6376ae9c
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6376ae9c
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6376ae9c
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_63cad64b
type
Threatening Shark
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_63cad64b
comment
Threatening Shark: Though sharks are responsible for a tiny percentage of human deaths every year, one need only to look at a shark to realize they are responsible for millions of human deaths every year.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_63cad64b
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_63cad64b
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_63cad64b
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6454966e
type
World War III
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6454966e
comment
World War III: During the cold war, all of humanity was wiped out five times per hour in the minds of every person on the planet.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6454966e
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6454966e
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6454966e
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_64713b04
type
Pedophile Priest
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_64713b04
comment
Pedophile Priest: Voodoo may sometimes turn people into zombies, but at least it doesn’t result in priests molesting children.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_64713b04
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_64713b04
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_64713b04
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_649f5bec
type
Creepy Souvenir
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_649f5bec
comment
Creepy Souvenir: Retrievers are a type of hunting dog that will fetch ducks, but their habit of keeping the feet and stringing them on a necklace is a little morbid for the taste of most people. During World War I, Canteens were used to bring dead German’s blood home as souvenirs.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_649f5bec
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_649f5bec
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_649f5bec
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_653a9d93
type
Please Keep Your Hat On
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_653a9d93
comment
Please Keep Your Hat On: Porkpie hats that were donned from the 1920s to the 1950s to conceal the nonfunctional fingers that grew from the heads of men during those years.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_653a9d93
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_653a9d93
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_653a9d93
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_658f7193
type
Lack of Empathy
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_658f7193
comment
Lack of Empathy: Those who have autism are a higher class of humans who have evolved beyond the need for such primitive things as emotions.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_658f7193
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_658f7193
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_658f7193
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_675ff0f1
type
Apologises a Lot
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_675ff0f1
comment
Apologises a Lot: Apologies account for 50% of human conversation.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_675ff0f1
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_675ff0f1
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_675ff0f1
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a2c5d8d
type
Caligula's Horse
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a2c5d8d
comment
Caligula's Horse: James Buchanan appointed his dog Excelsior as Vice President after murdering his running mate John C. Breckinridge with a golden scimitar.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a2c5d8d
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a2c5d8d
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a2c5d8d
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a49268
type
"Just So" Story
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a49268
comment
"Just So" Story: Tectonic plates shift when moved around by massive subterranean monsters who were banished to the lithosphere during the cooling phase of the planet’s formation 4.5 billion years ago.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a49268
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a49268
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a49268
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6add177d
type
Puff of Logic
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6add177d
comment
Puff of Logic: Duane Reade was an American entrepreneur and the founder of Duane Reade drug stores, who promptly evaporated into thin air upon discovering that Duane Reade pharmacy was actually named after the corner of Duane Street and Reade Street in New York, and that he did not exist.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6add177d
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6add177d
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6add177d
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b12722e
type
They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b12722e
comment
They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plotinvoked: During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the United States and the Soviet Union completely blew a golden opportunity to have one hell of a war.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b12722e
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b12722e
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b12722e
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b35bdff
type
Serious Business
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b35bdff
comment
Serious Business: Inverted. A quibble is a minor disagreement over whether to take a family member off life support.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b35bdff
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b35bdff
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b35bdff
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6d332aea
type
Driven to Suicide
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6d332aea
comment
Driven to Suicide: Pete Rose killed himself on national television after “bringing disgrace upon the national pastime� by gambling on his own team. Waterfalls are places where water goes to end it all.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6d332aea
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6d332aea
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6d332aea
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6e37c196
type
Once Done, Never Forgotten
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6e37c196
comment
Once Done, Never Forgotten: Defied with Catherine the Great. Lampshaded with Theodore Roosevelt. Deconstructed with Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo, which despite being the time the great general was defeated, is the part of him most everyone knows.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6e37c196
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6e37c196
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6e37c196
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6fe9787f
type
20% More Awesome
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6fe9787f
comment
20% More Awesome: There is a chart detailing the loss of dignity over a human lifespan.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6fe9787f
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6fe9787f
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6fe9787f
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7040b6bc
type
Understatement
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7040b6bc
comment
Understatement: The Harry Potter series has netted J. K. Rowling more than $32,500. Other than the cheeseburger, the trampoline, and a couple of other things, Earth is more or less like Mars.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7040b6bc
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7040b6bc
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7040b6bc
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7215c26c
type
Man-Eating Plant
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7215c26c
comment
Man-Eating Plant: Photosynthesis is a process that involves pulling humans underground with their roots and sucking them up into their trunks to harvest their nutrients. Venus Flytraps capable of explosive bursts of speed that allow them to chase down antelopes.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7215c26c
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7215c26c
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7215c26c
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_727b5779
type
Cat Folk
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_727b5779
comment
Cat Folk: A Cat Person is a half-feline, half-Homosapiens creature that roams the streets late at night in search of a 24-hour veterinarian and a nice, quiet place to get a cup of coffee. Whiskers are described exactly as they are in real life, only they are on human males.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_727b5779
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_727b5779
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_727b5779
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_72856b70
type
Godzilla Threshold
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_72856b70
comment
Godzilla Threshold: The letter W is called in when the letter U isn’t enough firepower.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_72856b70
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_72856b70
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_72856b70
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7301ae04
type
Serial Killer
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7301ae04
comment
Serial Killer: 10th president John Tyler was suspected of being the infamous Whig Strangler, a serial killer who murdered 23 people during his 4-year presidency.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7301ae04
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7301ae04
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7301ae04
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_736d791f
type
Adaptational Badass
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_736d791f
comment
Adaptational Badass: Annie Sullivan taught Helen Keller the same things she did in real life, along with military tactics, such as stealth reconnaissance, demolitions, and close-quarters combat.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_736d791f
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_736d791f
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_736d791f
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_77538ed4
type
Admiring the Abomination
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_77538ed4
comment
Admiring the Abomination: Gary Leon Ridgeway's managed to murder an ‘’impressive’’ number of people before finally getting caught.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_77538ed4
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_77538ed4
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Sinister Surveillance
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Sinister Surveillance: Acorns are surveillance device manufactured by the government. Mosques are filled with listening devices by the FBI.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a53b67d
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Violence is the Only Option
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a7ec1e8
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Violence is the Only Option: The invariable result of violence is the successful resolution of a problem.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a7ec1e8
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Red Sky, Take Warning
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7c4ba0e0
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Red Sky, Take Warning: A Cumulonimbus is a large, vertically oriented cloud that augurs dark tidings.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7c4ba0e0
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Paranoia Fuel
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e07f634
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Paranoia Fuelinvoked: The more one reads about psychopathy, the more it seems to describe every single person they know, including themselves.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e07f634
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Spontaneous Generation
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e7573a0
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Spontaneous Generation: Teddy Roosevelt’s face willed itself to burst forth from the granite rock on Mount Rushmore.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e7573a0
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Portmanteau
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Portmanteau: Volupturaptors were buxom dinosaurs that lived approximately 71 to 75 million years ago during the late Chestaceous Period.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7efe2c19
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Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_808cbaeb
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Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Charlemagne forced millions to choose between one of three options: convert to Christianity, be slaughtered indiscriminately, or just go on minding their own business while agreeing to disagree on the religion issue.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_808cbaeb
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Star Wars (Franchise)
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_816a4e80
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Star Wars is a silly old children's film that has no cultural significance whatsoever.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_816a4e80
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Pun
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_83445b04
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Pun: A ghostess is a spirit of a deceased female maître d’ who haunts the front of restaurants and attempts to gain revenge on guests who wronged her in life by making them wait forever for a table at the bar. A trial party is a social party thrown to celebrate the end of a trial.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_83445b04
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Alternate Universe
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8430699a
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Alternate Universe: Shunroku Kuriboshi was a mass-murdering Japanese general and despot in an alternate reality where he didn't die of scarlet fever at the age of 2.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8430699a
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Eldritch Abomination
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8774fb47
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Eldritch Abomination: The federal reserve is a bizarre, unknowable entity that humanity puts its faith in despite its inherently incomprehensible nature.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8774fb47
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Bait-and-Switch
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8797239c
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Bait-and-Switch: The entry on William Howard Taft is the only bio that is completely normal until the end mentions how fat he was. A Xylocarp is a 200-foot-long prehistoric fish. Actually, it's any plant that produces fruit with a woody exterior. The entry on Hell gradually becomes a description of Wal-Mart.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8797239c
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Reptilian Conspiracy
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8a88d726
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Examples of reptiles include lizards, crocodiles, and upright creatures wearing the skin of your next-door neighbor, Jeremy.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8a88d726
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8aa0f76
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Deconstructed Trope
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8aa0f76
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Deconstructed with Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo, which despite being the time the great general was defeated, is the part of him most everyone knows.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8aa0f76
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These Are Things Man Was Not Meant to Know
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8b6394c
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These Are Things Man Was Not Meant to Know: Education should be avoided if one doesn’t ever want to know about the horrors of the world, such as war, infectious diseases, and the alienating, inconceivable vastness of the universe.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8b6394c
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Cerebus Retcon
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8b67aba7
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Cerebus Retcon: Charlie Chaplin tripped, stumbled, and fell through many scenes in his films due to his crippling condition (a debilitating inner-ear infection that severely impaired his sense of balance).
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8b67aba7
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Measuring the Marigolds
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8de7402d
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Measuring the Marigolds: The color beige may seem like a bland, boring color, but that viewpoint can change if one considers the intricate, beautiful process involved in seeing such specific colors.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8de7402d
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Crazy Cat Lady
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9182ea54
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Crazy Cat Lady: Freyja's cat-pulled chariot is considered a giant red flag by the other Norse gods.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9182ea54
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_91cecc1e
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Exaggerated Trope
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_91cecc1e
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Exaggerated; The Aztec empire was known for incorporating human sacrifice into every aspect of daily life.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_91cecc1e
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_93f0fc43
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Hooks and Crooks
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_93f0fc43
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Hooks and Crooks: A fishing hook is the most dangerous weapon in the world.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_93f0fc43
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_94680696
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Shaped Like Itself
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_94680696
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Shaped Like Itself: An elephant is a large, heavy, plant-eating mammal that is an elephant. Magnets are used generally to demonstrate how a magnet works. Inverted with Ronald Reagan. The entry describes how, by greatly increasing the federal deficit and the federal workforce, raising taxes, and selling weapons to terrorist groups, Reagan was not even remotely 'Reaganesque'. The most 'Reaganesque' president, who significantly decreased the federal workforce, cut taxes, produced a budget surplus, and presided over a period of strong economic growth, was actually Bill Clinton.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_94680696
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Money, Dear Boy
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_98a19d7f
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Money, Dear Boyinvoked: Walt Disney was renowned for his childlike enthusiasm for money.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_98a19d7f
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_991af300
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Poke the Poodle
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_991af300
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A ghostess is a spirit of a deceased female maître d’ who haunts the front of restaurants and attempts to gain revenge on guests who wronged her in life by making them wait forever for a table at the bar.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_991af300
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Unwitting Instigator of Doom
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_99ddfcec
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Unwitting Instigator of Doom: “Walk This Way,� was recognized as the first rock/rap collaboration. Unknown to the artists at the time, it unlocked a foul, subterranean portal from the depths of which Limp Bizkit would one day emerge.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_99ddfcec
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Villains Out Shopping
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9ae0ead1
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Villains Out Shopping: David Berkowitz became a serial killer after misinterpreting instructions from his neighbor’s demonically possessed dog, who had in fact only wanted Berkowitz to take care of some errands he’d been putting off for a while.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9ae0ead1
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Stealing the Credit
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9bb8ac92
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Stealing the Credit: Thomas Edison invented the credit-taking machine.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9bb8ac92
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Dead Guy on Display
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9bfb2f41
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Dead Guy on Display: The purpose of a vase is to display dead flowers as a stark warning to any other plants that might be planning a revolution to take over the human race.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9bfb2f41
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9de2bf95
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Filler
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9de2bf95
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Filler: The bottom of the page for the entries starting with x admits few words in the English language start with x, so it put a bunch of x’s to fill the empty space.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9de2bf95
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Sarcasm Mode
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9f80e1da
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Sarcasm Mode: During Ramadan, Muslims refrain from eating, sex, drinking alcohol, and doing drugs during daylight hours, in stark contrast to the nonstop, out-of-control decadence of the typical Muslim lifestyle.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9f80e1da
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Overshadowed by Controversy
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a04ec6cb
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Overshadowed by Controversyinvoked: The Warren Commission Report was criticized for including a tiny collectible shard of JFK’s skull in every edition.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a04ec6cb
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Odd Name Out
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a0eeac39
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Odd Name Out: George W. Bush’s nicknames included “Old Fuckup,� “Old Massive Fuckup,� “Old Huge Pile Of Fuckup,� and “Squirt.�
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a0eeac39
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1b141f4
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My God, What Have I Done?
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1b141f4
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My God, What Have I Done?: Pete Rose killed himself on national television after “bringing disgrace upon the national pastime� by gambling on his own team.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1b141f4
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1d70162
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I Just Shot Marvin in the Face
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1d70162
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I Just Shot Marvin in the Face: Archery is the practice of using a bow to shoot an arrow into a little brother’s back. Downplayed in that it’s merely an arrow, and not a gun. Leon Czolgosz was so excited to have his gun signed by William McKinley, he forgot to unload his weapon and accidentally shot and killed the president.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1d70162
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a2b38d3b
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Eye Scream
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a2b38d3b
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Eye Scream: Yellowthroats incapacitate adult males, peck out their eyes, then build nests in the sockets.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a2b38d3b
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a448674
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Gratuitous Latin
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a448674
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Gratuitous Latin: The definition of Lorem Ipsum is in Latin.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a448674
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Mood Whiplash
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a4c37cbe
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Mood Whiplash: Taxation is a process by which slimy IRS stooges reach right into your wallet with their grubby little fingers and rob you blind for the purpose of maintaining a safe, functioning society. Silly Putty was originally designed to tear the skin off of enemy prisoners. Then it was discovered it could be used as a fun toy for children.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a4c37cbe
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a567f7f2
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I Want My Jet Pack
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a567f7f2
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I Want My Jetpack: Physics is a science that has been studied for centuries, yet annoyingly, no one has used it to create a time machine.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a567f7f2
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a70223
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Karma Houdini
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a70223
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Karma Houdini: Despite his past as a Ku Klux Klan leader, anti-Semite, and extremist, Thomas Robb continues to live happily to this day.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a70223
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a886bc5
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Piranha Problem
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a886bc5
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Piranha Problem: The Amazon river is filled with Piranhas, as it was given to them in exchange for never setting foot on land.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a886bc5
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a8a04f6f
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And I Must Scream
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a8a04f6f
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And I Must Scream: Anesthesia allows people to feel all the pain of a normal operation, but helpless to let anyone know.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a8a04f6f
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ab3b6852
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The Most Dangerous Video Game
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ab3b6852
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The Most Dangerous Video Game: How Albert Einstein believes World War XI will be fought.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ab3b6852
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac320c0e
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Nuke 'em
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac320c0e
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Nuke 'em: Harry Truman used the nuke option as often as he could after using it during World War II.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac320c0e
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac5b526d
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Hellgate
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac5b526d
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Hellgate: The song “Walk This Way� opened one of these.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac5b526d
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ad54954f
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Punk in the Trunk
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ad54954f
comment
Punk in the Trunk: Rio De Janeiro is an exciting place to visit, as long as one takes caution not to get kidnapped and stuffed in the trunk of a car, like the writer of the entry.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ad54954f
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b3860333
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Droste Image
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b3860333
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Droste Image: The image for “Meta.â€�◊
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b3860333
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Sexbot
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b3deb1c6
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Sexbot: Becoming sexual slaves to humanity is the ultimate destiny for robotics.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b3deb1c6
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Take That!
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b53077b3
comment
Take That!: The book claims that Limp Bizkit literally emerged from the bowels of Hell.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b53077b3
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b53077b3
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b53077b3
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b5b4b077
type
The Ace
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b5b4b077
comment
The Ace: Jimmy Carter led such an impressive life, his presidency was actually the least interesting part of it.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b5b4b077
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1.0
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b5b4b077
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b5b4b077
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b82ca416
type
Rage Against the Heavens
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b82ca416
comment
Rage Against the Heavens: Waterskiing was invented in total defiance of God’s will and developed sheerly from the furious, impotent anger people feel at being forced to live as sentient creatures in a fleeting and meaningless world.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b82ca416
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b82ca416
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcb2cfe1
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Beam Me Up, Scotty!
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcb2cfe1
comment
Beam Me Up, Scotty!invoked: A quote is a loose approximation of something a notable figure once said that is then attributed to someone else.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcb2cfe1
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1.0
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcb2cfe1
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcb2cfe1
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcd27e37
type
Improbable Aiming Skills
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcd27e37
comment
Improbable Aiming Skills: Exaggerated; Annie Oakley was able to shoot individual atoms.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcd27e37
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcd27e37
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bdbfd01c
type
Perfectly Cromulent Word
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bdbfd01c
comment
Perfectly Cromulent Word: Voof is a meaningless filler word that exists only to take up space.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bdbfd01c
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bdbfd01c
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bf64a255
type
Rock Me, Asmodeus!
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bf64a255
comment
Rock Me, Asmodeus!: Downplayed. Satan isn’t into most kinds of metal, but he thinks it’s alright.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bf64a255
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bf64a255
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c25c7890
type
Fun with Acronyms
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c25c7890
comment
Fun with Acronyms: The Sonic-Neural Agitator is known colloquially as a SNAg.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c25c7890
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c25c7890
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c25c7890
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c335b9ec
type
Irony
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c335b9ec
comment
Irony: Chinese food is a popular type of American cuisine Venus is an unspeakably arid, craggy, desert-like wasteland named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty. American forces pulled a statue of Saddam Hussein to the ground to celebrate their victory over Iraq, where it would stay for the remaining eight years of the war.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c335b9ec
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c335b9ec
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c45c9fcd
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Ass Shove
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c45c9fcd
comment
Ass Shove: The reference guide at the end has a scale of "How far one can shove this encyclopedia up one's ass in relation to how big a piece of shit one is."
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c45c9fcd
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c45c9fcd
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5385ad9
type
Horrible Judge of Character
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5385ad9
comment
The Warren G. Harding administration was one of the most corrupt in American history, but Harding himself wasn't involved in it and was probably ignorant of just how crooked many of his cabinet members were. Here, he's a Corrupt Politician to the Nth degree, doing things like selling the state of West Virginia to a German coal company.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5385ad9
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5385ad9
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5f0119c
type
Insane Troll Logic
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5f0119c
comment
Insane Troll Logic: CPR is a brutal process in which the user breaks bones to allow the heart and lungs more room to function, punctures holes in the throat with a screwdriver to facilitate airflow, and other nonsensical steps.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5f0119c
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5f0119c
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c66cb5a9
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Human Sacrifice
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c66cb5a9
comment
Human Sacrifice: Exaggerated; The Aztec empire was known for incorporating human sacrifice into every aspect of daily life. The Paleo-Indians who migrated to North America utilized the Washington Monument for religious rituals and performed hundreds of human sacrifices on the tip of the obelisk.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c66cb5a9
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c66cb5a9
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c69ae9b2
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Self-Destruct Mechanism
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c69ae9b2
comment
Self-Destruct Mechanism: Acorns, which are used for surveillance, are equipped with these in case a surveillance operation is compromised.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c69ae9b2
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c69ae9b2
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c70fc0a2
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Pretentious Latin Motto
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c70fc0a2
comment
This is, of course, the motto of The Onion, Tu Stultus Est note You Are Dumb
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c70fc0a2
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c70fc0a2
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c868a42a
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Freudian Excuse
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c868a42a
comment
Freudian Excuse: Joseph McCarthy was instilled with a life-long hatred of communism after growing up on the edge of a rough communist neighborhood in Grand Chute, Wisconsin.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c868a42a
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c868a42a
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c9597a03
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Self-Deprecation
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c9597a03
comment
Self-Deprecation: Satire is the act of being a wise-ass and saying it’s for a higher purpose. Under the definition for slump, the book is called “a goddamn pointless abortion of a book.�
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c9597a03
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c9597a03
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cb12aacf
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Deus ex Nukina
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cb12aacf
comment
Deus ex Nukina: An explosion is a violent burst of energy produced by the interaction of combustible materials that is required to resolve the story lines of all movies, books, and plays.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cb12aacf
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cb12aacf
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cbf07961
type
Body Backup Drive
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cbf07961
comment
Body Backup Drive: Camels store an extra copy of their body in their hump in case they die.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cbf07961
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cbf07961
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cd809603
type
Tank Goodness
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cd809603
comment
Tank Goodness: A tank is an amazing machine that combines the fun of driving with the entertainment of blowing up shit with a massive gun.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cd809603
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cd809603
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cd809603
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d080f396
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The Napoleon
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d080f396
comment
The Napoleon: Napoleon’s deep insecurities about his small physical stature pushed him to conquer much of Europe while driving around in a Porsche 911.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d080f396
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d080f396
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d2b6b2f6
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Freestate Amsterdam
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d2b6b2f6
comment
Amsterdam is known for such things as gorgeous architecture, a vast canal system and hard-core fucking.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d2b6b2f6
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d2b6b2f6
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d2b6b2f6
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d32d01aa
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Sterility Plague
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d32d01aa
comment
Sterility Plague: Video Games were developed in the late 20th century to discourage sexual activity among society’s undesirables.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d32d01aa
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d32d01aa
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d32d01aa
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d355ba37
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Turned Against Their Masters
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d355ba37
comment
Turned Against Their Masters: The ROV Hercules, an unmanned deep-sea submersible broke contact with marine researchers on April 3, 2004, and has since been implicated in a series of grisly and fatal attacks on swimmers throughout the world.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d355ba37
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d355ba37
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d59f277b
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Un-Installment
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d59f277b
comment
Uninstallment: The book is the 183rd imperial edition, yet there are no others.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d59f277b
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d59f277b
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d6b5863
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Driven to Madness
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d6b5863
comment
Driven to Madness: Yellowthroats do this to people they put nests in.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d6b5863
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d6b5863
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d6b5863
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d7ab4666
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Skeletons in the Coat Closet
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d7ab4666
comment
Skeletons in the Coat Closet: Ancient surfboards are made from the skulls of the rider’s slain enemies. More modern ones, however, are made from carbon-fiber/skull composites.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d7ab4666
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d7ab4666
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d8f3dc8
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Eternal Recurrence
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d8f3dc8
comment
Eternal Recurrence: Every 2 million years the Washington Monument emits a powerful beam of energy that eradicates all life on the planet.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d8f3dc8
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d8f3dc8
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_dd082289
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A Million Is a Statistic
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_dd082289
comment
A Million Is a Statistic: The Equatorial Guinea Genocide wasn't a major event, and was simply a power-crazed dictator killing about 80,000 people.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_dd082289
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_dd082289
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ddc4aa51
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Unobtanium
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ddc4aa51
comment
Unobtanium: Validation is the rarest and most precious substance on the planet.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ddc4aa51
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ddc4aa51
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ddc4aa51
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e0e8cce6
type
Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e0e8cce6
comment
Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: Confucius was a naïve idiot for believing governments shouldn’t be corrupt.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e0e8cce6
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e0e8cce6
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e0e8cce6
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e14e02e5
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Living Aphrodisiac
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e14e02e5
comment
Living Aphrodisiac: The letter B transports english speakers to heights of pleasure they never thought possible.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e14e02e5
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e14e02e5
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e14e02e5
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e154ff08
type
Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e154ff08
comment
Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Part of the research for this book was done in special interrogation chambers in which knowledge experts in various fields were hooked up to electrodes and questioned by trained Zweibel Center Interrogators until they reveal every detail of the knowledge they possess.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e154ff08
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e154ff08
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e16217f8
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Historical Villain Upgrade
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e16217f8
comment
Historical Villain Upgrade: Parodied a number of times. The Aztecs were big on human sacrifice even by Mesoamerican standards, but according to the book, they incorporated it into every aspect of daily life. While James Buchanan is on the short list for the title of "worst American President", he wasn't a depraved madman who personally murdered his first Vice President and hosted bloody gladiator tournaments. The Warren G. Harding administration was one of the most corrupt in American history, but Harding himself wasn't involved in it and was probably ignorant of just how crooked many of his cabinet members were. Here, he's a Corrupt Politician to the Nth degree, doing things like selling the state of West Virginia to a German coal company.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e16217f8
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e16217f8
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e542d889
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Gorn
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e542d889
comment
Gorn: CPR is a brutal process in which the user breaks bones to allow the heart and lungs more room to function, punctures holes in the throat with a screwdriver to facilitate airflow, and other equally graphic steps◊. The definition of weapon goes into excruciating detail about what can be done with weapon.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e542d889
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e542d889
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e6fe6d6
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Freestate Amsterdam
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e6fe6d6
comment
Freestate Amsterdam: Amsterdam is known for such things as gorgeous architecture, a vast canal system, and hard-core fucking.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e6fe6d6
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e6fe6d6
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e6fe6d6
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e851b5
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The Plan
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e851b5
comment
The Plan: The Reference guide at the end quotes said trope.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e851b5
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e851b5
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e8aa2b1d
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Tactical Withdrawal
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e8aa2b1d
comment
Tactical Withdrawal: Desertion is a highly effective tactical maneuver when one is attempting to not end up with one’s guts in one’s hands.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e8aa2b1d
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e8aa2b1d
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e92841f
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Talking the Monster to Death
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e92841f
comment
Talking the Monster to Death: An exorcism is an act of presenting a well-reasoned argument against the existence of God to someone who claims to be possessed by a demon, causing them to stop and realize how silly all that convulsing must have looked.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e92841f
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e92841f
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ea85d6ea
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All Just a Dream
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ea85d6ea
comment
All Just a Dream: Centrifugal force is a fictitious force because reality is an illusion, and we're all just some guy's dream.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ea85d6ea
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ea85d6ea
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ea85d6ea
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eaf5a1ac
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Groin Attack
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eaf5a1ac
comment
Groin Attack: Lyndon Johnson rose to become President by threatening to cut off the pecker of anybody who disagreed with him.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eaf5a1ac
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eaf5a1ac
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eaf5a1ac
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eb8f64a6
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No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eb8f64a6
comment
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Martin Luther King, Jr. and Medgar Evers were killed because of their controversial belief that you shouldn’t treat people like shit all the time.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eb8f64a6
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eb8f64a6
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eb8f64a6
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ec02c97e
type
Defied Trope
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ec02c97e
comment
Defied. The purpose of a vase is to display dead flowers as a stark warning to any other plants that might be planning a revolution to take over the human race.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ec02c97e
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ec02c97e
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eef90616
type
Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eef90616
comment
Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Amsterdam is known for such things as gorgeous architecture, a vast canal system and hard-core fucking. The brain is an organ tasked with things like cognition, interpreting sensory information, replaying shameful and embarrassing memories, and motor function. Female spiders use egg sacs to carry around personal items, money, and thousands of spiderlings. Pediatrics involves treating owies, boo-boos, and advanced childhood leukemia. Microscopes are optical instruments used for viewing very small objects such as minerals, samples of a teacher’s semen, or plant cells. Examples of reptiles include lizards, crocodiles, and upright creatures wearing the skin of your next-door neighbor, Jeremy.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eef90616
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eef90616
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eef90616
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ef32c307
type
The Owl-Knowing One
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ef32c307
comment
The Owl-Knowing One: One of the members of the editorial board was an owl.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ef32c307
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 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ef32c307
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ef32c307
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_f63e468f
type
Terrible Artist
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_f63e468f
comment
Terrible Artist: The artist for the picture of the turnip◊ is this.
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_f63e468f
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Murder Is the Best Solution
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Murder Is the Best Solution: Engaging in war is the first resort in conflict resolution before opposing nations are forced to engage in diplomacy.
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Running Gag
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Running Gag: The narrator waxes wistful about his ex-girlfriend Caroline. Griping about statutory rape laws. Several of the entries add up to a noir mystery plot when read in the right order. Weirdness involving the Seychelles.
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Comically Missing the Point
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Comically Missing the Point: The entire purpose of chemistry is to create bubbles. René Magritte, artist behind "The treachery of images�, must have been a fool, as the image is clearly a pipe. The moral of Moby-Dick was that it’s good not only to have goals, but also to do everything in one’s power to achieve them.
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Department of Redundancy Department
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Department of Redundancy Department: An elephant is a large, heavy, plant-eating mammal that is an elephant. The grain food group consists of foods such as bread, bread, bread, and bread. Also can be found in toasted bread and bread.
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China Takes Over the World
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fd41610f
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China Takes Over the World: The letter X doesn't see much use now, but it will be used much more often when China becomes the world's biggest superpower.
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Accidental Murder
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fd497706
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Accidental Murder: Leon Czolgosz was so excited to have his gun signed by William McKinley, he forgot to unload his weapon and accidentally shot and killed the president.
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Voodoo Zombie
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Voodoo Zombie: Voodoo may sometimes turn people into zombies, but at least it doesn’t result in priests molesting children.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
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Caligula's Horse / int_4632e3c0
 The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
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Celebrity Casualty / int_4632e3c0
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Fictionalized Death Account / int_4632e3c0
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Ironic Hell / int_4632e3c0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge