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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

969 statements
191 feature instances
5 referencing feature instances

The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	type	TVTItem
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	label	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	page	TheOnionBookOfKnownKnowledge
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	comment	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is a mock encyclopedia by The Onion. Entries go from A to Z, including an extra letter made up for the book.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	fetched	2024-04-11T15:30:33Z
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	parsed	2024-04-11T15:30:33Z
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	processingComment	Dropped link to DisabilitySuperpower: Not a Feature - IGNORE
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	processingComment	Dropped link to Greed: Not a Feature - ITEM
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	processingComment	Dropped link to LampshadedTrope: Not a Feature - UNKNOWN
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	processingComment	Dropped link to MobyDick: Not a Feature - ITEM
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	processingComment	Dropped link to ShaggyDogStory: Not a Feature - ITEM
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	processingUnknown	LampshadedTrope
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	isPartOf	DBTropes
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_141a6acb	type	Madness Mantra
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_141a6acb	comment	Madness Mantra: Under the letter â€œLâ€� is the word â€œlonelyâ€� repeated over and over again.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_141a6acb	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_141a6acb	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_141a6acb
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_175683fa	type	Staging an Intervention
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_175683fa	comment	Staging an Intervention: The entry for addiction is this for the reader.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_175683fa	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_175683fa	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_175683fa
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1779f10e	type	"Well Done, Son" Guy
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1779f10e	comment	"Well Done, Son" Guy: Baseball consists of two teams of nine players, all of whom desperately want to make their fathers proud.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1779f10e	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1779f10e	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1779f10e
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b4ea159	type	The Alibi
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b4ea159	comment	During the Nuremberg trials, the Nazis who were on trial said they didn't aid in the Holocaust as they were out of town, on vacation, or otherwise busy during the entirety of World War II.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b4ea159	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b4ea159	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b4ea159
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b590025	type	Dead All Along
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b590025	comment	Dead All Along: According to the entry on death, the real purpose of the book is to inform the reader that they are currently dead, and the world in which they currently exist is a figment of their dying brain.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b590025	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b590025	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1b590025
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1ba09c9d	type	Human Resources
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1ba09c9d	comment	Human Resources: Coal is made of the compressed remains of perished coal miners whose bodies decompose over thousands of years.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1ba09c9d	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1ba09c9d	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1ba09c9d
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1d8733d3	type	Overly Narrow Superlative
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1d8733d3	comment	Overly Narrow Superlative: Elevators account for 85 percent of the worldâ€™s slow vertical movement.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1d8733d3	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1d8733d3	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1d8733d3
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f4a5154	type	Fat, Sweaty Southerner in a White Suit
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f4a5154	comment	Fat, Sweaty Southerner in a White Suit: The editor claims John W. Paramore might be one.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f4a5154	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f4a5154	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f4a5154
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f8cdb5c	type	Who Shot JFK?
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f8cdb5c	comment	Who Shot JFK?: The entry on the Zapruder Film says that recently discovered missing frames reveal that Kennedy actually shot himself.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f8cdb5c	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f8cdb5c	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_1f8cdb5c
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_217a1adf	type	I Love the Dead
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_217a1adf	comment	I Love the Dead: Paul Newman could get any woman he wants, despite being dead.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_217a1adf	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_217a1adf	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_217a1adf
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_21bde5e8	type	The Tooth Hurts
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_21bde5e8	comment	The Tooth Hurts: The instant an individual falls asleep without brushing, their teeth start to rapidly decay.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_21bde5e8	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_21bde5e8	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_21bde5e8
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_237569e4	type	Ironic Hell
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_237569e4	comment	Ironic Hell: Osama bin Laden is in a dimension of hell where he's the sole mail-room clerk in the still-standing World Trade Center, the elevators are always out of order, and he must carry numerous filing cabinets, televisions, and couches up the stairs all by himself.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_237569e4	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_237569e4	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_237569e4
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_23d6eccb	type	Non-Mammal Mammaries
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_23d6eccb	comment	Non-Mammal Mammaries: The volupturaptor was a buxom dinosaur that lived during the late Chestaceous Period.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_23d6eccb	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_23d6eccb	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_23d6eccb
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2547b359	type	Real Dreams are Weirder
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2547b359	comment	Real Dreams are Weirder: Inverted. While Salvador Daliâ€™s works were meant to resemble the surreal aspect of dreams, he actually dreamt about things such as winning the lottery and being a rock star.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2547b359	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2547b359	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2547b359
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_26d18908	type	Puny Earthlings
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_26d18908	comment	Puny Earthlings: Storms serve as a meteorological reminder that humans are soft, weak, and ill-suited for survival anywhere.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_26d18908	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_26d18908	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_26d18908
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27006e86	type	People Zoo
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27006e86	comment	People Zoo: Lying is the act of propagating beliefs that are not true in order to prevent civilizations from knowing they are actually in a type of zoo.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27006e86	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27006e86	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27006e86
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_272abb98	type	Shoot the Shaggy Dog
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_272abb98	comment	Shoot the Shaggy Dog: The scholars who died gathering information on their entryâ€”and many hundreds didâ€”were within 48 hours replaced with a new academic who was forced to start entirely from scratch.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_272abb98	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_272abb98	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_272abb98
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27725a69	type	Nice Character, Mean Actor
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27725a69	comment	Nice Character, Mean Actor: Discussed; The actor who played Andy Griffith was â€˜â€™probablyâ€™â€™ a terrible person.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27725a69	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27725a69	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_27725a69
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2804d516	type	Master of None
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2804d516	comment	Master of None: Benjamin Franklin was a man of many talents, but he ultimately spread himself too thin and never truly accomplished any one full objective.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2804d516	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2804d516	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2804d516
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28a7a9cd	type	Sentient Vehicle
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28a7a9cd	comment	Sentient Vehicle: The Amazon Rain Forest is populated by these.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28a7a9cd	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28a7a9cd	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28a7a9cd
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28f852ea	type	Wholesome Crossdresser
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28f852ea	comment	Wholesome Crossdresser: Martha Washington was actually a character created by George Washington, who dressed as a comical woman to entertain and improve the morale of his troops, and later, his Cabinet.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28f852ea	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28f852ea	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_28f852ea
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_294ed981	type	Bilingual Bonus
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_294ed981	comment	Bilingual Bonus: The preface has "A note to our Filipino readers"◊, which is in Tagalog. The entry for fascism starts to define it normally, before Suddenly Shouting in Italian. The entry for lorem ipsum◊ is in Latin. The entry for Cthulhu◊ is in r'lyehian.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_294ed981	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_294ed981	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_294ed981
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2b851bd4	type	The Scrooge
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2b851bd4	comment	The Scrooge: The writer for the entry on capitalism is consumed by his own greed while explaining the fundamentals of the economic system.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2b851bd4	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2b851bd4	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2b851bd4
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cb9b1a9	type	Cool, but Inefficient
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cb9b1a9	comment	Cool, but Inefficient: People sprayed acid on cars to clean them and lit them on fire to dry them before anyone realized water and towels were probably an easier solution.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cb9b1a9	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cb9b1a9	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cb9b1a9
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cd322e4	type	Shoot the Builder
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cd322e4	comment	Shoot the Builder: Once the book was finished, all the scholars were then murdered to prevent the information they gathered from being spread to competing encyclopedias.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cd322e4	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cd322e4	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2cd322e4
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2d39663b	type	Fratbro
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2d39663b	comment	Fratbro: College itself was one.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2d39663b	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2d39663b	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_2d39663b
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31578d72	type	Hates Everyone Equally
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31578d72	comment	Hates Everyone Equally: It is foolish to judge people by their race, as it would be much more accurate to judge people by how stupid they look in general.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31578d72	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31578d72	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31578d72
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31f344c7	type	In Memoriam
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31f344c7	comment	In Memoriaminvoked: The letter V is dedicated to one of the copy editors.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31f344c7	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31f344c7	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_31f344c7
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_334b7f3a	type	Cryptic Background Reference
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_334b7f3a	comment	Cryptic Background Reference: The date of June 26, 1997 is referred to as â€œDark Thursday.â€� What took place at the time is never revealed, with the only hint being it was â€œthe blackest and most terrible day in American history.â€�
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_334b7f3a	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_334b7f3a	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_334b7f3a
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_33f067ea	type	So Okay, It's Average
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_33f067ea	comment	So Okay, It's Averageinvoked: Chicago is an alright place to live.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_33f067ea	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_33f067ea	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_33f067ea
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_36c73fcf	type	It Always Rains at Funerals
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_36c73fcf	comment	It Always Rains at Funerals: Rain is an aesthetic phenomenon that accentuates breakups and funerals.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_36c73fcf	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_36c73fcf	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_36c73fcf
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_393ec3f9	type	Zeerust
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_393ec3f9	comment	Zeerust: The Worldâ€™s Fair is an international exhibition series filled with lies about the future.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_393ec3f9	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_393ec3f9	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_393ec3f9
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3b5fcbb7	type	Artifact of Doom
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3b5fcbb7	comment	Artifact of Doom: The Washington Monument eradicates all life on the planet every 2 million years.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3b5fcbb7	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3b5fcbb7	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3b5fcbb7
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c0a4666	type	Noodle Incident
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c0a4666	comment	Noodle Incident: Dark Thursday was the blackest and most terrible day in American history. A godmother is a woman entrusted to care for a child in the event both parents died in a freak accident involving a tandem inner tube, a wide turn, and a jetty. At the end of the book is a list of fees, one of which is $109.96. Absolutely horrible things were done to the cornea during the The Spanish Inquisition.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c0a4666	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c0a4666	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c0a4666
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c14f642	type	Force-Field Door
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c14f642	comment	Force-Field Door: The foul line in baseball Highly charged electrical barrier that disintegrates any player who attempts to cross it.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c14f642	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c14f642	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3c14f642
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3d85c6bc	type	Black Speech
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3d85c6bc	comment	Black Speech: The entry for Cthulhu is in r'lyehian, an evil language from the Cthulhu Mythos.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3d85c6bc	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3d85c6bc	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3d85c6bc
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3e8d9cd3	type	Historical Hero Upgrade
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3e8d9cd3	comment	Historical Hero Upgrade: Happens a few times, usually played for laughs. For example, Leon Czolgosz shot William McKinley by accident while trying to get him to autograph his gun.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3e8d9cd3	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3e8d9cd3	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3e8d9cd3
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3ea462d7	type	Take That, Audience!
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3ea462d7	comment	Take That, Audience!: The book starts insulting the reader right from the second sentence. Zweibel says this of Onion readers: This is, of course, the motto of The Onion, Tu Stultus Est note You Are Dumb
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3ea462d7	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3ea462d7	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3ea462d7
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3eee0728	type	Captain Obvious
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3eee0728	comment	Captain Obvious: Ludwig van Beethoven would've had an easier time writing music had he not gone deaf.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3eee0728	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3eee0728	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3f0b2f50	type	Make It Look Like an Accident
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3f0b2f50	comment	Make It Look Like an Accident: Implied; T. Herman Zweibel assumed editorial directorship of The Onion in late 1888 after a mysterious series of logjams, paper mill accidents, boiler explosions, and servant uprisings eliminated all other candidates for the post.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3f0b2f50	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3f0b2f50	featureConfidence	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_3f0b2f50
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_40bb59d0	type	Blatant Lies
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_40bb59d0	comment	Blatant Lies: Each entry contains precisely 27 letter E's. Adulthood is a stage in one's life where one learns exactly what they want and takes all necessary steps to achieve their goals. Star Wars is a silly old children's film that has no cultural significance whatsoever. A flame thrower is a non-lethal device used primarily for crowd-control. All forms of criminal justice have a 100% success rate the people have the power in the democratic government Elections are a highly-celebrated process in which all voters take pride in the fact that their well-researched ballot casts will contribute to the greater good. The great pacific garbage patch was caused entirely by sealife polluting their own ocean. During the Nuremberg trials, the Nazis who were on trial said they didn't aid in the Holocaust as they were out of town, on vacation, or otherwise busy during the entirety of World War II. Bill Clinton was not impeached by House Republicans because that would have been a laughable waste of time.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_40bb59d0	featureApplicability	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_41be2c1b	type	Spoiler Title
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_41be2c1b	comment	Spoiler Title: In-Universe, with the book â€œLord Murderson Is The Killer.â€�
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_41be2c1b	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_41be2c1b	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42008602	type	Story Arc
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42008602	comment	Story Arc: Anders Van Braak and sonic-neural technology.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42008602	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42008602	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_424c9a9b	type	Cold-Blooded Torture
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_424c9a9b	comment	Silly Putty was originally designed to tear the skin off of enemy prisoners. Then it was discovered it could be used as a fun toy for children.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_424c9a9b	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_424c9a9b	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42995bec	type	Spell Book
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42995bec	comment	Spell Book: The Bible is full of spells such as re-animating the dead or cursing an enemy.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42995bec	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42995bec	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42c9f1ec	type	Downplayed Trope
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42c9f1ec	comment	Archery is the practice of using a bow to shoot an arrow into a little brotherâ€™s back. Downplayed in that itâ€™s merely an arrow, and not a gun.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42c9f1ec	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42c9f1ec	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42eb0460	type	Going Postal
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42eb0460	comment	Going Postal: Implied in the entry for chainsaw, which one puts under their desk before work begins early in the morning.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42eb0460	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_42eb0460	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45a559cf	type	Wardrobe Malfunction
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45a559cf	comment	Wardrobe Malfunction: Implied. Nipples have the ability to temporarily reignite an actressâ€™s career.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45a559cf	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45a559cf	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45ad2569	type	Vagueness Is Coming
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45ad2569	comment	Vagueness Is Coming: The Black Death wiped out as much as 60 percent of Western civilization in the 14th century, but pales in comparison to whatâ€™s coming.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45ad2569	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45ad2569	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45cd286c	type	Corrupt Politician
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45cd286c	comment	Corrupt Politician: Warren G. Harding, who among other things gave the Grand Canyon to his cousin, sold West Virginia to a German coal company and signed the Hardingâ€™s Buddy Is Getting 25 Percent of Our Tax Money Now Act.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45cd286c	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_45cd286c	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_48f282a3	type	Alternate Aesop Interpretation
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_48f282a3	comment	Alternate Aesop Interpretationinvoked: The September 11th attacks will forever stand as a lesson to how we view religion, freedom, homeland security, oil consumption, or one of several other things.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_48f282a3	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_48f282a3	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4a9c731e	type	When Trees Attack
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4a9c731e	comment	When Trees Attack: Photosynthesis involves trees pulling humans underground with their strong roots and sucking them up into their trunks to harvest their nutrients. Defied. The purpose of a vase is to display dead flowers as a stark warning to any other plants that might be planning a revolution to take over the human race.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4a9c731e	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4a9c731e	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4c6205c5	type	New Technology Is Evil
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4c6205c5	comment	New Technology Is Evil: Discussed The entry for technology doesnâ€™t complain about modern dependance on technology, but rather the people who do.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4c6205c5	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4c6205c5	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4f6cf75	type	Mirroring Factions
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4f6cf75	comment	Mirroring Factions: Atheism is a belief in which one deeply devotes oneself to the nearly nonstop studying, writing, thinking, and talking about God. The Democratic and Republican parties have the exact same entry, with the only difference being the parties are swapped out for each other.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4f6cf75	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_4f6cf75	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_504a1991	type	Body Horror
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_504a1991	comment	Body Horror: Fashion was developed to disguise mutations in human anatomy, which are shown in grisly detail. Puberty is a stage in human development where fully functioning limbs sprout from the torso◊.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_504a1991	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_504a1991	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_52aa0c4a	type	The Caligula
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_52aa0c4a	comment	The Caligula: James Buchanan spent his entire presidency holding monumental orgies and bloody gladiator tournaments.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_52aa0c4a	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_52aa0c4a	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5541da8c	type	Lotus-Eater Machine
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5541da8c	comment	Lotus-Eater Machine: Western Civilization was nearly ruined in the mid-1990s when almost every American dropped everything in their lives for a few years and strapped on virtual reality headsets from morning until night.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5541da8c	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5541da8c	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55473bc9	type	CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55473bc9	comment	CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable: Inverted. CPR is a brutal process in which the user breaks bones to allow the heart and lungs more room to function, punctures holes in the throat with a screwdriver to facilitate airflow, and other equally graphic steps◊.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55473bc9	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55473bc9	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55b1f9a1	type	Easy Amnesia
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55b1f9a1	comment	Easy Amnesia: Amnesia is caused and solved by hitting someone on the head.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55b1f9a1	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_55b1f9a1	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5892169d	type	Absurd Phobia
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5892169d	comment	Absurd Phobia: Downplayed. T. Herman Zweibel had a profound mistrust of barbers, but was not necessarily afraid of them.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5892169d	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5892169d	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_58e008c	type	Sharing a Body
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_58e008c	comment	Sharing a Body: A five-star general is a two-star general and three-star general trapped inside the same body.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_58e008c	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_58e008c	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_59196f87	type	Baby Talk
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_59196f87	comment	Baby Talk: The entry on Coca-Cola is written in this.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_59196f87	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_59196f87	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5a59b3a1	type	Hulk Speak
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5a59b3a1	comment	Hulk Speak: The entry on Creator/Plato is written in this.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5a59b3a1	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5a59b3a1	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5ce2c9c6	type	Suddenly Shouting
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5ce2c9c6	comment	The entry for fascism starts to define it normally, before Suddenly Shouting in Italian.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5ce2c9c6	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5ce2c9c6	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5e52adb8	type	Sunken City
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5e52adb8	comment	Sunken City: In the future, all of Earth will be underwater.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5e52adb8	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5e52adb8	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fce7196	type	Scare Quotes
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fce7196	comment	Scare Quotes: $142.5 million were devoted to research, while another $84 million were devoted to "research."
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fce7196	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fce7196	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fcedca	type	Big Eater
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fcedca	comment	Big Eater: South Dakota resident Marcus Seltz is someone who can "take down a bucket of crab legs like a freaking combine."
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fcedca	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_5fcedca	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6363937b	type	Cyanide Pill
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6363937b	comment	Cyanide Pill: In a diagram explaining the various parts of the cell, the centriole is described as always having 1.5 atoms of cyanide in case the cell is captured before it can divide.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6363937b	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6363937b	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6376ae9c	type	Phlebotinum Killed the Dinosaurs
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6376ae9c	comment	Phlebotinum Killed the Dinosaurs: The shadow cast from a colossal azalea bush◊ shrouded half of the planet in darkness for 2,000 years, causing the famous mass extinction event.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6376ae9c	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6376ae9c	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_63cad64b	type	Threatening Shark
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_63cad64b	comment	Threatening Shark: Though sharks are responsible for a tiny percentage of human deaths every year, one need only to look at a shark to realize they are responsible for millions of human deaths every year.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_63cad64b	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_63cad64b	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6454966e	type	World War III
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6454966e	comment	World War III: During the cold war, all of humanity was wiped out five times per hour in the minds of every person on the planet.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6454966e	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6454966e	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_64713b04	type	Pedophile Priest
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_64713b04	comment	Pedophile Priest: Voodoo may sometimes turn people into zombies, but at least it doesnâ€™t result in priests molesting children.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_64713b04	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_64713b04	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_649f5bec	type	Creepy Souvenir
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_649f5bec	comment	Creepy Souvenir: Retrievers are a type of hunting dog that will fetch ducks, but their habit of keeping the feet and stringing them on a necklace is a little morbid for the taste of most people. During World War I, Canteens were used to bring dead Germanâ€™s blood home as souvenirs.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_649f5bec	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_649f5bec	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_653a9d93	type	Please Keep Your Hat On
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_653a9d93	comment	Please Keep Your Hat On: Porkpie hats that were donned from the 1920s to the 1950s to conceal the nonfunctional fingers that grew from the heads of men during those years.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_653a9d93	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_653a9d93	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_658f7193	type	Lack of Empathy
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_658f7193	comment	Lack of Empathy: Those who have autism are a higher class of humans who have evolved beyond the need for such primitive things as emotions.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_658f7193	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_658f7193	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_675ff0f1	type	Apologises a Lot
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_675ff0f1	comment	Apologises a Lot: Apologies account for 50% of human conversation.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_675ff0f1	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_675ff0f1	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a2c5d8d	type	Caligula's Horse
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a2c5d8d	comment	Caligula's Horse: James Buchanan appointed his dog Excelsior as Vice President after murdering his running mate John C. Breckinridge with a golden scimitar.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a2c5d8d	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a2c5d8d	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a49268	type	"Just So" Story
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a49268	comment	"Just So" Story: Tectonic plates shift when moved around by massive subterranean monsters who were banished to the lithosphere during the cooling phase of the planetâ€™s formation 4.5 billion years ago.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a49268	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6a49268	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6add177d	type	Puff of Logic
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6add177d	comment	Puff of Logic: Duane Reade was an American entrepreneur and the founder of Duane Reade drug stores, who promptly evaporated into thin air upon discovering that Duane Reade pharmacy was actually named after the corner of Duane Street and Reade Street in New York, and that he did not exist.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6add177d	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6add177d	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b12722e	type	They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b12722e	comment	They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plotinvoked: During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the United States and the Soviet Union completely blew a golden opportunity to have one hell of a war.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b12722e	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b12722e	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b35bdff	type	Serious Business
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b35bdff	comment	Serious Business: Inverted. A quibble is a minor disagreement over whether to take a family member off life support.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b35bdff	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6b35bdff	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6d332aea	type	Driven to Suicide
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6d332aea	comment	Driven to Suicide: Pete Rose killed himself on national television after â€œbringing disgrace upon the national pastimeâ€� by gambling on his own team. Waterfalls are places where water goes to end it all.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6d332aea	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6d332aea	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6e37c196	type	Once Done, Never Forgotten
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6e37c196	comment	Once Done, Never Forgotten: Defied with Catherine the Great. Lampshaded with Theodore Roosevelt. Deconstructed with Napoleonâ€™s defeat at Waterloo, which despite being the time the great general was defeated, is the part of him most everyone knows.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6e37c196	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6e37c196	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6fe9787f	type	20% More Awesome
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6fe9787f	comment	20% More Awesome: There is a chart detailing the loss of dignity over a human lifespan.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6fe9787f	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_6fe9787f	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7040b6bc	type	Understatement
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7040b6bc	comment	Understatement: The Harry Potter series has netted J. K. Rowling more than $32,500. Other than the cheeseburger, the trampoline, and a couple of other things, Earth is more or less like Mars.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7040b6bc	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7040b6bc	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7215c26c	type	Man-Eating Plant
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7215c26c	comment	Man-Eating Plant: Photosynthesis is a process that involves pulling humans underground with their roots and sucking them up into their trunks to harvest their nutrients. Venus Flytraps capable of explosive bursts of speed that allow them to chase down antelopes.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7215c26c	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7215c26c	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_727b5779	type	Cat Folk
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_727b5779	comment	Cat Folk: A Cat Person is a half-feline, half-Homosapiens creature that roams the streets late at night in search of a 24-hour veterinarian and a nice, quiet place to get a cup of coffee. Whiskers are described exactly as they are in real life, only they are on human males.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_727b5779	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_727b5779	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_72856b70	type	Godzilla Threshold
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_72856b70	comment	Godzilla Threshold: The letter W is called in when the letter U isnâ€™t enough firepower.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_72856b70	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_72856b70	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7301ae04	type	Serial Killer
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7301ae04	comment	Serial Killer: 10th president John Tyler was suspected of being the infamous Whig Strangler, a serial killer who murdered 23 people during his 4-year presidency.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7301ae04	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7301ae04	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_736d791f	type	Adaptational Badass
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_736d791f	comment	Adaptational Badass: Annie Sullivan taught Helen Keller the same things she did in real life, along with military tactics, such as stealth reconnaissance, demolitions, and close-quarters combat.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_736d791f	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_736d791f	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_77538ed4	type	Admiring the Abomination
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_77538ed4	comment	Admiring the Abomination: Gary Leon Ridgeway's managed to murder an â€˜â€™impressiveâ€™â€™ number of people before finally getting caught.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_77538ed4	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_77538ed4	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a53b67d	type	Sinister Surveillance
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a53b67d	comment	Sinister Surveillance: Acorns are surveillance device manufactured by the government. Mosques are filled with listening devices by the FBI.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a53b67d	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a53b67d	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a7ec1e8	type	Violence is the Only Option
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a7ec1e8	comment	Violence is the Only Option: The invariable result of violence is the successful resolution of a problem.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a7ec1e8	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7a7ec1e8	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7c4ba0e0	type	Red Sky, Take Warning
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7c4ba0e0	comment	Red Sky, Take Warning: A Cumulonimbus is a large, vertically oriented cloud that augurs dark tidings.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7c4ba0e0	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7c4ba0e0	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e07f634	type	Paranoia Fuel
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e07f634	comment	Paranoia Fuelinvoked: The more one reads about psychopathy, the more it seems to describe every single person they know, including themselves.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e07f634	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e07f634	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e7573a0	type	Spontaneous Generation
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e7573a0	comment	Spontaneous Generation: Teddy Rooseveltâ€™s face willed itself to burst forth from the granite rock on Mount Rushmore.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e7573a0	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7e7573a0	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7efe2c19	type	Portmanteau
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7efe2c19	comment	Portmanteau: Volupturaptors were buxom dinosaurs that lived approximately 71 to 75 million years ago during the late Chestaceous Period.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7efe2c19	featureApplicability	1.0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_7efe2c19	featureConfidence	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_808cbaeb	type	Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_808cbaeb	comment	Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Charlemagne forced millions to choose between one of three options: convert to Christianity, be slaughtered indiscriminately, or just go on minding their own business while agreeing to disagree on the religion issue.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_808cbaeb	featureApplicability	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_816a4e80	type	Star Wars (Franchise)
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_816a4e80	comment	Star Wars is a silly old children's film that has no cultural significance whatsoever.
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_816a4e80	featureApplicability	1.0
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_83445b04	type	Pun
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_83445b04	comment	Pun: A ghostess is a spirit of a deceased female maÃ®tre dâ€™ who haunts the front of restaurants and attempts to gain revenge on guests who wronged her in life by making them wait forever for a table at the bar. A trial party is a social party thrown to celebrate the end of a trial.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8430699a	type	Alternate Universe
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8430699a	comment	Alternate Universe: Shunroku Kuriboshi was a mass-murdering Japanese general and despot in an alternate reality where he didn't die of scarlet fever at the age of 2.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8774fb47	type	Eldritch Abomination
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8774fb47	comment	Eldritch Abomination: The federal reserve is a bizarre, unknowable entity that humanity puts its faith in despite its inherently incomprehensible nature.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8797239c	type	Bait-and-Switch
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8797239c	comment	Bait-and-Switch: The entry on William Howard Taft is the only bio that is completely normal until the end mentions how fat he was. A Xylocarp is a 200-foot-long prehistoric fish. Actually, it's any plant that produces fruit with a woody exterior. The entry on Hell gradually becomes a description of Wal-Mart.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8a88d726	type	Reptilian Conspiracy
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8a88d726	comment	Examples of reptiles include lizards, crocodiles, and upright creatures wearing the skin of your next-door neighbor, Jeremy.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8aa0f76	type	Deconstructed Trope
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8aa0f76	comment	Deconstructed with Napoleonâ€™s defeat at Waterloo, which despite being the time the great general was defeated, is the part of him most everyone knows.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8b6394c	type	These Are Things Man Was Not Meant to Know
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8b6394c	comment	These Are Things Man Was Not Meant to Know: Education should be avoided if one doesnâ€™t ever want to know about the horrors of the world, such as war, infectious diseases, and the alienating, inconceivable vastness of the universe.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8b67aba7	type	Cerebus Retcon
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8b67aba7	comment	Cerebus Retcon: Charlie Chaplin tripped, stumbled, and fell through many scenes in his films due to his crippling condition (a debilitating inner-ear infection that severely impaired his sense of balance).
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8de7402d	type	Measuring the Marigolds
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_8de7402d	comment	Measuring the Marigolds: The color beige may seem like a bland, boring color, but that viewpoint can change if one considers the intricate, beautiful process involved in seeing such specific colors.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9182ea54	type	Crazy Cat Lady
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9182ea54	comment	Crazy Cat Lady: Freyja's cat-pulled chariot is considered a giant red flag by the other Norse gods.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_91cecc1e	type	Exaggerated Trope
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_91cecc1e	comment	Exaggerated; The Aztec empire was known for incorporating human sacrifice into every aspect of daily life.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_93f0fc43	type	Hooks and Crooks
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_93f0fc43	comment	Hooks and Crooks: A fishing hook is the most dangerous weapon in the world.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_94680696	type	Shaped Like Itself
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_94680696	comment	Shaped Like Itself: An elephant is a large, heavy, plant-eating mammal that is an elephant. Magnets are used generally to demonstrate how a magnet works. Inverted with Ronald Reagan. The entry describes how, by greatly increasing the federal deficit and the federal workforce, raising taxes, and selling weapons to terrorist groups, Reagan was not even remotely 'Reaganesque'. The most 'Reaganesque' president, who significantly decreased the federal workforce, cut taxes, produced a budget surplus, and presided over a period of strong economic growth, was actually Bill Clinton.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_98a19d7f	type	Money, Dear Boy
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_98a19d7f	comment	Money, Dear Boyinvoked: Walt Disney was renowned for his childlike enthusiasm for money.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_991af300	type	Poke the Poodle
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_991af300	comment	A ghostess is a spirit of a deceased female maÃ®tre dâ€™ who haunts the front of restaurants and attempts to gain revenge on guests who wronged her in life by making them wait forever for a table at the bar.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_99ddfcec	type	Unwitting Instigator of Doom
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_99ddfcec	comment	Unwitting Instigator of Doom: â€œWalk This Way,â€� was recognized as the first rock/rap collaboration. Unknown to the artists at the time, it unlocked a foul, subterranean portal from the depths of which Limp Bizkit would one day emerge.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9ae0ead1	type	Villains Out Shopping
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9ae0ead1	comment	Villains Out Shopping: David Berkowitz became a serial killer after misinterpreting instructions from his neighborâ€™s demonically possessed dog, who had in fact only wanted Berkowitz to take care of some errands heâ€™d been putting off for a while.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9bb8ac92	type	Stealing the Credit
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9bb8ac92	comment	Stealing the Credit: Thomas Edison invented the credit-taking machine.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9bfb2f41	type	Dead Guy on Display
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9bfb2f41	comment	Dead Guy on Display: The purpose of a vase is to display dead flowers as a stark warning to any other plants that might be planning a revolution to take over the human race.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9de2bf95	type	Filler
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9de2bf95	comment	Filler: The bottom of the page for the entries starting with x admits few words in the English language start with x, so it put a bunch of xâ€™s to fill the empty space.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9f80e1da	type	Sarcasm Mode
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_9f80e1da	comment	Sarcasm Mode: During Ramadan, Muslims refrain from eating, sex, drinking alcohol, and doing drugs during daylight hours, in stark contrast to the nonstop, out-of-control decadence of the typical Muslim lifestyle.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a04ec6cb	type	Overshadowed by Controversy
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a04ec6cb	comment	Overshadowed by Controversyinvoked: The Warren Commission Report was criticized for including a tiny collectible shard of JFKâ€™s skull in every edition.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a0eeac39	type	Odd Name Out
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a0eeac39	comment	Odd Name Out: George W. Bushâ€™s nicknames included â€œOld Fuckup,â€� â€œOld Massive Fuckup,â€� â€œOld Huge Pile Of Fuckup,â€� and â€œSquirt.â€�
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1b141f4	type	My God, What Have I Done?
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1b141f4	comment	My God, What Have I Done?: Pete Rose killed himself on national television after â€œbringing disgrace upon the national pastimeâ€� by gambling on his own team.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1d70162	type	I Just Shot Marvin in the Face
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a1d70162	comment	I Just Shot Marvin in the Face: Archery is the practice of using a bow to shoot an arrow into a little brotherâ€™s back. Downplayed in that itâ€™s merely an arrow, and not a gun. Leon Czolgosz was so excited to have his gun signed by William McKinley, he forgot to unload his weapon and accidentally shot and killed the president.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a2b38d3b	type	Eye Scream
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a2b38d3b	comment	Eye Scream: Yellowthroats incapacitate adult males, peck out their eyes, then build nests in the sockets.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a448674	type	Gratuitous Latin
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a448674	comment	Gratuitous Latin: The definition of Lorem Ipsum is in Latin.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a4c37cbe	type	Mood Whiplash
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a4c37cbe	comment	Mood Whiplash: Taxation is a process by which slimy IRS stooges reach right into your wallet with their grubby little fingers and rob you blind for the purpose of maintaining a safe, functioning society. Silly Putty was originally designed to tear the skin off of enemy prisoners. Then it was discovered it could be used as a fun toy for children.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a567f7f2	type	I Want My Jet Pack
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a567f7f2	comment	I Want My Jetpack: Physics is a science that has been studied for centuries, yet annoyingly, no one has used it to create a time machine.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a70223	type	Karma Houdini
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a70223	comment	Karma Houdini: Despite his past as a Ku Klux Klan leader, anti-Semite, and extremist, Thomas Robb continues to live happily to this day.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a886bc5	type	Piranha Problem
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a886bc5	comment	Piranha Problem: The Amazon river is filled with Piranhas, as it was given to them in exchange for never setting foot on land.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a8a04f6f	type	And I Must Scream
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_a8a04f6f	comment	And I Must Scream: Anesthesia allows people to feel all the pain of a normal operation, but helpless to let anyone know.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ab3b6852	type	The Most Dangerous Video Game
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ab3b6852	comment	The Most Dangerous Video Game: How Albert Einstein believes World War XI will be fought.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac320c0e	type	Nuke 'em
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac320c0e	comment	Nuke 'em: Harry Truman used the nuke option as often as he could after using it during World War II.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac5b526d	type	Hellgate
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ac5b526d	comment	Hellgate: The song â€œWalk This Wayâ€� opened one of these.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ad54954f	type	Punk in the Trunk
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ad54954f	comment	Punk in the Trunk: Rio De Janeiro is an exciting place to visit, as long as one takes caution not to get kidnapped and stuffed in the trunk of a car, like the writer of the entry.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b3860333	type	Droste Image
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b3860333	comment	Droste Image: The image for â€œMeta.â€�◊
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b3deb1c6	type	Sexbot
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b3deb1c6	comment	Sexbot: Becoming sexual slaves to humanity is the ultimate destiny for robotics.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b53077b3	type	Take That!
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b53077b3	comment	Take That!: The book claims that Limp Bizkit literally emerged from the bowels of Hell.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b5b4b077	type	The Ace
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b5b4b077	comment	The Ace: Jimmy Carter led such an impressive life, his presidency was actually the least interesting part of it.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b82ca416	type	Rage Against the Heavens
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_b82ca416	comment	Rage Against the Heavens: Waterskiing was invented in total defiance of Godâ€™s will and developed sheerly from the furious, impotent anger people feel at being forced to live as sentient creatures in a fleeting and meaningless world.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcb2cfe1	type	Beam Me Up, Scotty!
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcb2cfe1	comment	Beam Me Up, Scotty!invoked: A quote is a loose approximation of something a notable figure once said that is then attributed to someone else.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcd27e37	type	Improbable Aiming Skills
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bcd27e37	comment	Improbable Aiming Skills: Exaggerated; Annie Oakley was able to shoot individual atoms.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bdbfd01c	type	Perfectly Cromulent Word
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bdbfd01c	comment	Perfectly Cromulent Word: Voof is a meaningless filler word that exists only to take up space.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bf64a255	type	Rock Me, Asmodeus!
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_bf64a255	comment	Rock Me, Asmodeus!: Downplayed. Satan isnâ€™t into most kinds of metal, but he thinks itâ€™s alright.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c25c7890	type	Fun with Acronyms
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c25c7890	comment	Fun with Acronyms: The Sonic-Neural Agitator is known colloquially as a SNAg.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c335b9ec	type	Irony
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c335b9ec	comment	Irony: Chinese food is a popular type of American cuisine Venus is an unspeakably arid, craggy, desert-like wasteland named after the Roman goddess of love and beauty. American forces pulled a statue of Saddam Hussein to the ground to celebrate their victory over Iraq, where it would stay for the remaining eight years of the war.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c45c9fcd	type	Ass Shove
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c45c9fcd	comment	Ass Shove: The reference guide at the end has a scale of "How far one can shove this encyclopedia up one's ass in relation to how big a piece of shit one is."
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5385ad9	type	Horrible Judge of Character
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5385ad9	comment	The Warren G. Harding administration was one of the most corrupt in American history, but Harding himself wasn't involved in it and was probably ignorant of just how crooked many of his cabinet members were. Here, he's a Corrupt Politician to the Nth degree, doing things like selling the state of West Virginia to a German coal company.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5f0119c	type	Insane Troll Logic
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c5f0119c	comment	Insane Troll Logic: CPR is a brutal process in which the user breaks bones to allow the heart and lungs more room to function, punctures holes in the throat with a screwdriver to facilitate airflow, and other nonsensical steps.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c66cb5a9	type	Human Sacrifice
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c66cb5a9	comment	Human Sacrifice: Exaggerated; The Aztec empire was known for incorporating human sacrifice into every aspect of daily life. The Paleo-Indians who migrated to North America utilized the Washington Monument for religious rituals and performed hundreds of human sacrifices on the tip of the obelisk.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c69ae9b2	type	Self-Destruct Mechanism
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c69ae9b2	comment	Self-Destruct Mechanism: Acorns, which are used for surveillance, are equipped with these in case a surveillance operation is compromised.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c70fc0a2	type	Pretentious Latin Motto
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c70fc0a2	comment	This is, of course, the motto of The Onion, Tu Stultus Est note You Are Dumb
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c868a42a	type	Freudian Excuse
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c868a42a	comment	Freudian Excuse: Joseph McCarthy was instilled with a life-long hatred of communism after growing up on the edge of a rough communist neighborhood in Grand Chute, Wisconsin.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c9597a03	type	Self-Deprecation
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_c9597a03	comment	Self-Deprecation: Satire is the act of being a wise-ass and saying itâ€™s for a higher purpose. Under the definition for slump, the book is called â€œa goddamn pointless abortion of a book.â€�
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cb12aacf	type	Deus ex Nukina
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cb12aacf	comment	Deus ex Nukina: An explosion is a violent burst of energy produced by the interaction of combustible materials that is required to resolve the story lines of all movies, books, and plays.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cbf07961	type	Body Backup Drive
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cbf07961	comment	Body Backup Drive: Camels store an extra copy of their body in their hump in case they die.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cd809603	type	Tank Goodness
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_cd809603	comment	Tank Goodness: A tank is an amazing machine that combines the fun of driving with the entertainment of blowing up shit with a massive gun.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d080f396	type	The Napoleon
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d080f396	comment	The Napoleon: Napoleonâ€™s deep insecurities about his small physical stature pushed him to conquer much of Europe while driving around in a Porsche 911.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d2b6b2f6	type	Freestate Amsterdam
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d2b6b2f6	comment	Amsterdam is known for such things as gorgeous architecture, a vast canal system and hard-core fucking.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d32d01aa	type	Sterility Plague
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d32d01aa	comment	Sterility Plague: Video Games were developed in the late 20th century to discourage sexual activity among societyâ€™s undesirables.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d355ba37	type	Turned Against Their Masters
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d355ba37	comment	Turned Against Their Masters: The ROV Hercules, an unmanned deep-sea submersible broke contact with marine researchers on April 3, 2004, and has since been implicated in a series of grisly and fatal attacks on swimmers throughout the world.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d59f277b	type	Un-Installment
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d59f277b	comment	Uninstallment: The book is the 183rd imperial edition, yet there are no others.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d6b5863	type	Driven to Madness
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d6b5863	comment	Driven to Madness: Yellowthroats do this to people they put nests in.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d7ab4666	type	Skeletons in the Coat Closet
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d7ab4666	comment	Skeletons in the Coat Closet: Ancient surfboards are made from the skulls of the riderâ€™s slain enemies. More modern ones, however, are made from carbon-fiber/skull composites.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d8f3dc8	type	Eternal Recurrence
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_d8f3dc8	comment	Eternal Recurrence: Every 2 million years the Washington Monument emits a powerful beam of energy that eradicates all life on the planet.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_dd082289	type	A Million Is a Statistic
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_dd082289	comment	A Million Is a Statistic: The Equatorial Guinea Genocide wasn't a major event, and was simply a power-crazed dictator killing about 80,000 people.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ddc4aa51	type	Unobtanium
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ddc4aa51	comment	Unobtanium: Validation is the rarest and most precious substance on the planet.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e0e8cce6	type	Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e0e8cce6	comment	Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: Confucius was a naÃ¯ve idiot for believing governments shouldnâ€™t be corrupt.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e14e02e5	type	Living Aphrodisiac
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e14e02e5	comment	Living Aphrodisiac: The letter B transports english speakers to heights of pleasure they never thought possible.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e154ff08	type	Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e154ff08	comment	Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Part of the research for this book was done in special interrogation chambers in which knowledge experts in various fields were hooked up to electrodes and questioned by trained Zweibel Center Interrogators until they reveal every detail of the knowledge they possess.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e16217f8	type	Historical Villain Upgrade
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e16217f8	comment	Historical Villain Upgrade: Parodied a number of times. The Aztecs were big on human sacrifice even by Mesoamerican standards, but according to the book, they incorporated it into every aspect of daily life. While James Buchanan is on the short list for the title of "worst American President", he wasn't a depraved madman who personally murdered his first Vice President and hosted bloody gladiator tournaments. The Warren G. Harding administration was one of the most corrupt in American history, but Harding himself wasn't involved in it and was probably ignorant of just how crooked many of his cabinet members were. Here, he's a Corrupt Politician to the Nth degree, doing things like selling the state of West Virginia to a German coal company.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e542d889	type	Gorn
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e542d889	comment	Gorn: CPR is a brutal process in which the user breaks bones to allow the heart and lungs more room to function, punctures holes in the throat with a screwdriver to facilitate airflow, and other equally graphic steps◊. The definition of weapon goes into excruciating detail about what can be done with weapon.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e6fe6d6	type	Freestate Amsterdam
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e6fe6d6	comment	Freestate Amsterdam: Amsterdam is known for such things as gorgeous architecture, a vast canal system, and hard-core fucking.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e851b5	type	The Plan
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e851b5	comment	The Plan: The Reference guide at the end quotes said trope.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e8aa2b1d	type	Tactical Withdrawal
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e8aa2b1d	comment	Tactical Withdrawal: Desertion is a highly effective tactical maneuver when one is attempting to not end up with oneâ€™s guts in oneâ€™s hands.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e92841f	type	Talking the Monster to Death
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_e92841f	comment	Talking the Monster to Death: An exorcism is an act of presenting a well-reasoned argument against the existence of God to someone who claims to be possessed by a demon, causing them to stop and realize how silly all that convulsing must have looked.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ea85d6ea	type	All Just a Dream
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ea85d6ea	comment	All Just a Dream: Centrifugal force is a fictitious force because reality is an illusion, and we're all just some guy's dream.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eaf5a1ac	type	Groin Attack
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eaf5a1ac	comment	Groin Attack: Lyndon Johnson rose to become President by threatening to cut off the pecker of anybody who disagreed with him.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eb8f64a6	type	No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eb8f64a6	comment	No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Martin Luther King, Jr. and Medgar Evers were killed because of their controversial belief that you shouldnâ€™t treat people like shit all the time.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ec02c97e	type	Defied Trope
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ec02c97e	comment	Defied. The purpose of a vase is to display dead flowers as a stark warning to any other plants that might be planning a revolution to take over the human race.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eef90616	type	Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_eef90616	comment	Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Amsterdam is known for such things as gorgeous architecture, a vast canal system and hard-core fucking. The brain is an organ tasked with things like cognition, interpreting sensory information, replaying shameful and embarrassing memories, and motor function. Female spiders use egg sacs to carry around personal items, money, and thousands of spiderlings. Pediatrics involves treating owies, boo-boos, and advanced childhood leukemia. Microscopes are optical instruments used for viewing very small objects such as minerals, samples of a teacherâ€™s semen, or plant cells. Examples of reptiles include lizards, crocodiles, and upright creatures wearing the skin of your next-door neighbor, Jeremy.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ef32c307	type	The Owl-Knowing One
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ef32c307	comment	The Owl-Knowing One: One of the members of the editorial board was an owl.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_f63e468f	type	Terrible Artist
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_f63e468f	comment	Terrible Artist: The artist for the picture of the turnip◊ is this.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_f6b30338	type	Murder Is the Best Solution
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_f6b30338	comment	Murder Is the Best Solution: Engaging in war is the first resort in conflict resolution before opposing nations are forced to engage in diplomacy.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_f9f2c33	type	Running Gag
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_f9f2c33	comment	Running Gag: The narrator waxes wistful about his ex-girlfriend Caroline. Griping about statutory rape laws. Several of the entries add up to a noir mystery plot when read in the right order. Weirdness involving the Seychelles.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fbd285b7	type	Comically Missing the Point
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fbd285b7	comment	Comically Missing the Point: The entire purpose of chemistry is to create bubbles. RenÃ© Magritte, artist behind "The treachery of imagesâ€�, must have been a fool, as the image is clearly a pipe. The moral of Moby-Dick was that itâ€™s good not only to have goals, but also to do everything in oneâ€™s power to achieve them.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fc151e9d	type	Department of Redundancy Department
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fc151e9d	comment	Department of Redundancy Department: An elephant is a large, heavy, plant-eating mammal that is an elephant. The grain food group consists of foods such as bread, bread, bread, and bread. Also can be found in toasted bread and bread.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fd41610f	type	China Takes Over the World
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fd41610f	comment	China Takes Over the World: The letter X doesn't see much use now, but it will be used much more often when China becomes the world's biggest superpower.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fd497706	type	Accidental Murder
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_fd497706	comment	Accidental Murder: Leon Czolgosz was so excited to have his gun signed by William McKinley, he forgot to unload his weapon and accidentally shot and killed the president.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ffc3ced9	type	Voodoo Zombie
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge / int_ffc3ced9	comment	Voodoo Zombie: Voodoo may sometimes turn people into zombies, but at least it doesnâ€™t result in priests molesting children.
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The following is a list of statements referring to the current page from other pages.

The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	Caligula's Horse / int_4632e3c0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	Celebrity Casualty / int_4632e3c0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	Fictionalized Death Account / int_4632e3c0
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge	hasFeature	Ironic Hell / int_4632e3c0
theonionbookofknownknowledge	sameAs	The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

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