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You Fight Like a Cow
- 766 statements
- 146 feature instances
- 158 referencing feature instances
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Cutting implements and cutting remarks, combined. Two characters are fighting, probably with swords or fists. They're also engaged in Witty Banter or Volleying Insults or, perhaps, having a discussion on fighting technique, the meaning of life, what they had for lunch, or why new music is so awful. In comics (and comic-based cartoons), this is typically referred to as "quipping" and is standard operational procedure for most heroes. Except Batman. Common when the action sequences need some dialogue. If done right, the dialogue is more memorable than the action, and will probably be quoted incessantly. This is also a common trick of the Warrior Therapist. Luckily for them Talking Is a Free Action, so they're never short of breath or time (and can hear each other clearly over all the crashing and punching and loud gunshots). Compare Gunpoint Banter. If an insult's delivered just before the killing stroke, see Pre-Mortem One-Liner. If a few moments later, see Bond One-Liner. See My Grandma Can Do Better Than You and My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad for similar insults. |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_10b03dcf | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_10b03dcf | comment |
Batman: Arkham Asylum: Mooks frequently says things like "You fight like a girl" and you "fight like an old man", thankfully a punch can interrupt them. Courtesy of the public-address system Joker spends the entire frigging game making comments like this. Punching the Joker square in the jaw at the end of the game is one of the most satisfying moments ever. |
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Batman: Arkham Asylum (Video Game) | hasFeature |
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Subverted in Megamind. | |
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Megamind | hasFeature |
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In Pale, where animist spirits exert subtle influence on everything, this is a valid way of influencing said spirits-show confidence and insult your opponent and you are literally more likely to find fortune turning your way. Avery Kelly is especially fond of combat quipping. | |
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Pale | hasFeature |
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Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics): While he doesn't do it a lot in the games, Sonic, being the resident Motor Mouth, does this quite a bit in the comics. 90% of the time it's as simple as an incredibly lame pun derived from his opponent's name. He does it often enough that in issue 48, it was explicitly noted by the narration that he wasn't running off at the mouth during a fight. | |
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Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics) (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_1b386512 | type |
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Ranma ½: Ranma does this so much when he fights that it's a battle tactic. "Anything Goes." | |
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Ranma ½ (Manga) | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_1bdbda2a | type |
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Antihero for Hire: During a fight between Dragon and Crossroad, the latter proposes to the other to "skip the skill insults since they are obviously very good," to which Dragon agrees. Shadehawk's favorite weapons are his big mouth, Indy Ploy, and Silver Arrow, exactly in that order |
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Antihero for Hire (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
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In The Deluge (1974 Polish film), Andrzej Kmicic finds himself in a duel with the resident Master Swordsman, Michał Wołodyjowski. Kmicic is extremely overconfident (good thing he has Plot Armour), and Wołodyjowski spends the whole duel playing with him like a cat plays with a mouse, a witty insult included. It's wittier than it appears at first glance, because on the surface, it's about Kmicic's lack of skill, but it's also calling Kmicic a peasant. | |
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The Deluge | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_207a8200 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_207a8200 | comment |
Being somewhat based on Spider-Man, Madison/Tether from Atonement naturally indulges in a lot of quipping. So much so that when she fights an enemy who can redirect and weaponize sound, she endangers herself several times by accidentally quipping, thus giving her opponent ammo. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_207a8200 | featureApplicability |
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Atonement (Fanfic) | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_20948a39 | type |
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In Tales of Monkey Island, Guybrush tries using it on Morgan LeFlay. She responds by cutting off your hand. | |
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Tales of Monkey Island (Video Game) | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_2250e67e | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_2250e67e | comment |
Star Trek: Enterprise ("In a Mirror, Darkly"). In the Mirror Universe, the Hotter and Sexier versions of Hoshi and T'Pol exchange snarky comments during a Knife Fight. | |
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Star Trek: Enterprise | hasFeature |
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In The Road to El Dorado: | |
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The Road to El Dorado | hasFeature |
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Happens a few times in Redwall, particularly with the hares, who seem to include more friendly-sounding snark the more serious the fight is, often even offering tips on fighting to their opponents. Dippler and Fenno also get in a bit; | |
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Redwall | hasFeature |
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The Simpsons: In the episode "I Am Furious (Yellow)", Groundskeeper Willie is fighting his Irish rival, Seamus: In "Dancin' Homer", Bart and Lisa engage in heckling Mr. Burns' feeble attempt at throwing a pitch. In "Moe Na Lisa", a fight breaks out between the American writers Jonathan Franzen and Michael Chabon. When Franzen lands a cheap shot, Chabon scoffs that his opponent "fights like Anne Rice". |
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The Simpsons | hasFeature |
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Dominic Deegan's father is a master of this kind of thing — the family is famed for their horrible puns. | |
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Dominic Deegan (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_292e4ce | type |
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In one episode of Street Fighter, Fei Long insults the crap out of Ken who replies "And you... You're a loser! But I'M... a star!" | |
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Street Fighter | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_2dc12aeb | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_2dc12aeb | comment |
In NetHack, imps will often have lines such as "I first mistook thee for a statue, when I regarded thy head of stone," immediately following their hit messages. | |
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NetHack (Video Game) | hasFeature |
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In Red Sonja, Sonja does this during her fight with Brytag. | |
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RedSonja | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_2fa0f6af | type |
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Plenty of this happens in martial arts spoof Tongan Ninja, most notably when Action Fighter quips: "You fight like a baby... a dead baby!" | |
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Tongan Ninja | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_305faa76 | type |
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Spacetrawler, every single time Growp and Emily fight. | |
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Spacetrawler (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_334f9ddc | type |
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The combo breaker system in Injustice: Gods Among Us has the characters quip at each other before launching their attacks. Certain character pairings have one or more unique back and forths, which vary even more depending on which character initiates the combo breaker. Needless to say, there are a lot of them. A more direct example: |
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Injustice: Gods Among Us (Video Game) | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_33860f9f | type |
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Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: Knives attacks Ramona and manages to score a shallow cut on her face: Scott himself, however, sucks at battle quips: |
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Scott Pilgrim (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_355e218e | type |
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In George the Dragon we get to see a very fishy version of this trope. This banter goes on for several pages. | |
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George the Dragon (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
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The "Provoke" ability in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance works similarly—use it successfully on an enemy, and they'll only be able to use the "move" and "attack" commands, with the former primarily serving to bring them close enough for the latter. However, they also get a bonus to attack damage. | |
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Final Fantasy Tactics Advance (Video Game) | hasFeature |
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Wonder Woman Vol 1: In her final match of the kanga-joust part of the champion tournament Diana and her opponent exchange some quips, with her opponent comparing her to a tulip since she's so much smaller. | |
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Wonder Woman (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
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The Hunchback of Notre Dame played it straight in the fight between Esmeralda and Pheobus, which was rich with Casual Danger Dialogue. | |
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The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney) | hasFeature |
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Captain Planet and the Planeteers: Wheeler is prone to flinging insults at and mouthing off to the eco-villains while the team is in the middle of a mission. | |
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Captain Planet and the Planeteers | hasFeature |
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Near the end of Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves, you insult-duel a wizened old pirate to convince him that you're someone else. | |
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Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves (Video Game) | hasFeature |
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In Animalympics, when The Contessa confronts the crooked fencer Count Bordeaux: | |
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Animalympics | hasFeature |
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Harry Dresden of The Dresden Files; it makes sense since his creator is a self-proclaimed Spider-Man fan. He has managed to quip about following the Tao of Peter Parker while being interrogated by a Big Bad. Which makes a bit of sense since you don't need technology to read comic books. | |
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The Dresden Files | hasFeature |
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One Piece: Grand Line 3.5 handles the first Luffy vs. Buggy fight like this, referencing Monkey Island in the process. | |
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A lot of characters in the Power Rangers franchise like to chat while they fight, but the undefeated masters of this has to be the Ninja Storm Rangers who sometimes layer jokes and quips so thick it's like Spider-Man times six. | |
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Power Rangers (Franchise) | hasFeature |
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Almost the trademark of Chaka in the Whateley Universe. She even uses it as a very effective distraction during "Parents' Day" when a team of mutant superpowered ninjas attacks. | |
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Whateley Universe | hasFeature |
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In Improbable Island it is possible to learn a skill that allows you to fight and kill enemies simply by insulting them. | |
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Improbable Island (Video Game) | hasFeature |
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The Adventures of Dr. McNinja: Ninjas seem to be subject to this, too. | |
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Po vs. the Wolf Boss in Kung Fu Panda 2: | |
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Kung Fu Panda 2 | hasFeature |
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In the Homestuck fanfic series Golden Age, Queen Jane has a grand time taunting the highblood captain of the ship she's appeared on. Granted, since he never seems to connect the dots that, as a hologram, she can't exactly be harmed by gunfire, he kind of has it coming. | |
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Homestuck (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
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In Seekers, Errol trash talks this way during the duels. | |
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Seekers (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
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Knights of the Old Republic 2 has the last duel with Sion, which is punctuated by short conversations in which you try to weaken his resolve. You have left me an opening! |
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Knights of the Old Republic (Video Game) | hasFeature |
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The Prisoner of Zenda: Doesn't show up as much as in the 1937 film, but still present in the fights between Rudolf and Rupert. | |
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The Prisoner of Zenda | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_52b6c04d | |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_53a73ca0 | comment |
Star Wars: The Clone Wars: In "Cloak of Darkness" Luminara Unduli mocks Ventress' fighting-style as an "unrefined, amateurish, sloppy" imitation of her master, Count Dooku's. In "The Phantom Apprentice" Maul reveals to Ahsoka that he intended to lure Anakin to Mandalore and kill him in order to prevent Anakin's fall and commit Revenge by Proxy by depriving Sidious of his desired apprentice. During their fight, Ahsoka remarks that, based upon his performance against her, Maul is lucky that his plan didn't work, because Anakin would've made quick work of him. |
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Star Wars: The Clone Wars | hasFeature |
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You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_553051f | comment |
Defied by Sodam Yat in Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps War when he's fighting Superman-Prime: | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_553051f | featureApplicability |
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Green Lantern (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_553051f | |
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You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5755b96a | comment |
The Order of the Stick: Elan takes a prestige class called the "Dashing Swordsman", effectively this trope in a nutshell. It can teach you to "harness your natural charm to turn you into a real bonafide, wisecracking, swashbuckling, damsel-saving action hero!" In fact, the quipping is shown to be an absolutely necessary part of the class's abilities. When Elan fights so many enemies that he winds up reusing a pun, his attacks suddenly cease to do any amount of real damage. Elan also discovers the hard way that if his target is too stupid to understand the quip, it doesn't count. An effective counter to his style is best delivered with an effective counter to his puns. Tarquin is also familiar with the technique, and he and Elan provide the first real back-and-forth pun duel in the series. It's later revealed that Tarquin's former opponent was the very person who mentored Elan, Julio Scoundrél — and when it comes to puns, he's in an entirely different league to either of them. On the other side, Xykon isn't too bad either — he makes puns and jokes and mocks his foes as he completely demolishes them. Roy also plays this pretty straight sometimes, especially when he fights Miko for the last time. "Treasure Type O", anyone? Also somehow reversed by Vaarsuvius putting a bunch of goblins to sleep via his/her pre-fight speech. |
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The Order of the Stick (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5755b96a | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5bf662a4 | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5bf662a4 | comment |
Defied in an issue of Generation X, where X-Cutioner explicitly tells Skin that he is "not interested in engaging [him] in a witty repartee." | |
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Generation X (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5bf662a4 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5e150650 | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5e150650 | comment |
Exalted gives bonuses for using stunts, interesting descriptions of a character's actions. Combat quips, insults, banter, and repartee are all valid stunts. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5e150650 | featureApplicability |
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Exalted (Tabletop Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5e150650 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5fb36d0e | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5fb36d0e | comment |
Robin: Tim Drake was always less prone to quips unless fighting alongside friends to begin with and preferred a more understated shade of sarcasm but has toned back even that. Stephanie Brown is snappy like Dick but with a tendency towards forgetting where she is going with a phrase. Damian Wayne throws insults in a Sophisticated as Hell sort of way. Jason Todd throws a lot of smack talk at his opponents (like Nightwing) as a way to get them emotional or distract them. The real difference is that Nightwing does it in a lighter and more playful manner. Jason's witty quips are darker and more sadistic. |
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Robin (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_5fb36d0e | |
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You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6007bcf4 | comment |
In Sleeping Dogs (2012), Sifu Kwok will constantly belittle protagonist Wei Shen and the other students alike when Wei is in a move-training session. (There's also a separate set of lines exclusive to the introductory session.) | |
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Sleeping Dogs (2012) (Video Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6007bcf4 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_62570927 | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_62570927 | comment |
Given that Spider-Man and Deadpool are the masters of this trope within the Marvel Universe, it should come as no surprise that they utilize this to the fullest when they meet up in Amazing Spider-Man #611, which writer Joe Kelly describes as "a fight that very quickly degenerates into a 'your mother is' joke contest." It continues throughout their Spider-Man/Deadpool series. | |
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Marvel Universe (Franchise) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_62570927 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6500e1de | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6500e1de | comment |
The Captive Temple: While dueling Qui-Gon, Xanatos taunts his former Master for being slow, claiming he's faster now. Qui-Gon disagrees. Later he says that Xanatos always starts his taunts when he's tiring and that his fatal flaw is his need to boast, often revealing aspects of his complex plans that would be more effective if secret. |
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Jedi Apprentice | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6500e1de | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_69071a1b | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_69071a1b | comment |
Mutants & Masterminds has the Taunt Feat, which allows a character to use their Bluff Skill to lower an opponent's defenses. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_69071a1b | featureApplicability |
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Mutants & Masterminds (Tabletop Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_69071a1b | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_694ab80 | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_694ab80 | comment |
Terry McGinnis in Batman Beyond develops a tendency to taunt his opponents, which differs from the normally stoic Batman. Bruce doesn't seem to mind. In Return of the Joker, he uses this to great effect against the Clown Prince of Crime himself, realizing that while Bruce refusing to laugh might be effective, the one thing a comedian really can't stand is being heckled. Joker loves to hear himself laugh, but he hates it when he's the punchline. | |
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Batman Beyond | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_694ab80 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_699c1e80 | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_699c1e80 | comment |
She-Hulk, a fellow Lighter and Softer (of sorts) superheroine is a frequent quipper. When Spidey appeared early on in her revived title, with her serving as his lawyer in a suit against J. Jonah Jameson, he even mentions that they enjoy quipping together. (This is also the source of the panel where Spidey claims JJJ hates him because "he's black".) | |
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She-Hulk (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_699c1e80 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_69ae5978 | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_69ae5978 | comment |
In the fan game Rakenzarn Tales, bosses will often taunt the heroes during their fights. Sometimes, the player has the choice to taunt them in return. If the correct answer is selected, the enemies will be weakened (or will become stronger if the wrong taunt is chosen). | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_69ae5978 | featureApplicability |
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Rakenzarn Tales (Video Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_69ae5978 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6ac55ec7 | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6ac55ec7 | comment |
Dungeons & Dragons: In the 4th edition, the Bard class is a master of this trope. And since their puns and insults are actually magical attacks, it is possible for a Bard to insult someone to death. Not so spoony now, eh? This is very likely derived from some prestige classes in some third edition settings (like the musketeer class in D20 Past) who gain the ability to automatically confirm critical hits if their player can come up with a witty, relevant, and previously unused remark (or a cheap pun, you know whatever) to go with the attack. Like stabbing a vampire and saying "Looks like the stakes were too high." (We're ignoring the fact that vampires cannot be critically hit.) See the The Order of the Stick reference below. 3.5 edition had the Jester class, which was like the Bard but more focused on taunting the enemy into submission with insulting jokes than inspiring allies with heroic songs. Kender, a race in the Dragonlance setting, have the racial ability to taunt opponents into attacking them wildly without regard to their personal safety as a tactical combat option. |
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Dungeons & Dragons (Tabletop Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6ac55ec7 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6b85085e | type |
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The Mortal Kombat series has Shao Khan, who insults you (or laughs) often during a match (usually after knocking you down). In Mortal Kombat Trilogy, when you could finally play as him, these moves were still there, as taunts. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6b85085e | featureApplicability |
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Mortal Kombat (Franchise) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6b85085e | |
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Sin City has this exchange between Wallace and Manute: | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6bcd58c7 | featureApplicability |
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Sin City (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6bcd58c7 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6c1d09b4 | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6c1d09b4 | comment |
In Fallout 4, the Super Mutants can say this line: | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6c1d09b4 | featureApplicability |
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Fallout 4 (Video Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6c1d09b4 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6edaecea | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6edaecea | comment |
Half the fun of Yu-Gi-Oh! Capsule Monster Coliseum is seeing Yami Yugi or his opponents mock each other during the fights. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6edaecea | featureApplicability |
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Yu-Gi-Oh! Capsule Monster Coliseum (Video Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_6edaecea | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_71a41952 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_71a41952 | comment |
In Time Gal, Reika, the Player Character, often taunts whatever is chasing her. For example, while being chased by bugs in the year 4000, she says, "This way, this way!" | |
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Time Gal (Video Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_71a41952 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_72262aee | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_72262aee | comment |
Avatar: The Last Airbender: In one episode, Aang taunts Admiral Zhao so Zhao will get increasingly angry and burn his fleet of riverboats with errant fire blasts. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_72262aee | featureApplicability |
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Avatar: The Last Airbender | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_72262aee | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_73d7930f | type |
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Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. In "Way of the Warrior" Garak is beaten up by Klingon soldiers. | |
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Star Trek: Deep Space Nine | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_73d7930f | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7440e4b3 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_7440e4b3 | comment |
When two Miis are fighting in Tomodachi Life: | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7440e4b3 | featureApplicability |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_7440e4b3 | featureConfidence |
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Tomodachi Life (Video Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7440e4b3 | |
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[PROTOTYPE] has Captain Cross being all chatty while Mercer remains relatively silent soon after the duel begins. Depending on the player's performance against Cross, the Badass Normal will spout the appropriate lines. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_747d9a6f | featureApplicability |
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[PROTOTYPE] / Videogame | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_747d9a6f | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_761a48d7 | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_761a48d7 | comment |
Iron Fist (2017): Danny Rand gets challenged to a duel with a bunch of the Hand's finest assassins, all of whom have various taunts to level at him. When he gets to the last one, Scythe, this happens: | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_761a48d7 | featureApplicability |
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Iron Fist (2017) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_761a48d7 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7668653b | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_7668653b | comment |
In Mass Effect 3, Kai Leng often taunts Shepard during their fights. In their last fight, Shepard taunts back, and Kai Leng proves he can't take what he dishes out. | |
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Mass Effect 3 (Video Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7668653b | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_77bd8b89 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_77bd8b89 | comment |
It also turns up in non-LucasFilm games, such as A Tale of Two Kingdoms, where you can use insult sword fighting against Rashakk the Goblin Warlord. Turns out he's better at it, though. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_77bd8b89 | featureApplicability |
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A Tale of Two Kingdoms (Video Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_77bd8b89 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_79620aaa | type |
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Sandra and Woo has this in this comic. Cloud and Theo insult one another, but Theo's hurts Cloud's feelings. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_79620aaa | featureApplicability |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_79620aaa | featureConfidence |
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Sandra and Woo (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_79620aaa | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_79ab0b3c | type |
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Tortall Universe: In the Song of the Lioness books, Alanna notices that her opponents tend to get more nervous when she remains eerily silent throughout. However, during a friendly match between Alanna and Kel in the Trickster's Duet, they do taunt each other. | |
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Tortall Universe | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_79ab0b3c | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_79ae7521 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_79ae7521 | comment |
The beginning of the third The Librarian movie, Curse Of The Judas Chalice, has an excellent example of this, with Flynn and the villain du jour dueling on stairs while critiquing each other's technique. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_79ae7521 | featureApplicability |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_79ae7521 | featureConfidence |
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The Librarian | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_79ae7521 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7e1563ba | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_7e1563ba | comment |
Pretty ludicrously done in the eighth script draft for South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. The Doctor from the Hospital scene runs in with an M-16. A Canadian steps in front of him; the doctor shoots and blows the Canadian's head clean off. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7e1563ba | featureApplicability |
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South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7e1563ba | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7fd403f8 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_7fd403f8 | comment |
Galaxy Quest's (mostly) fake fight in the airlock consists of trading insults ("Raving egomaniac!" "scene-stealing hack!") and (mostly) fake punches ("You used to pull your punches") while maneuvering into position to grab a blunt object. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7fd403f8 | featureApplicability |
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Galaxy Quest | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_7fd403f8 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_810c9b91 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_810c9b91 | comment |
Rick and Morty (Oni): After enslaving all of the Ricks in the Council, Doofus Jerry orders them all to address him as the "Miggity Miggity Miggity Mack", disintegrating a Rick who refuses to do so. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_810c9b91 | featureApplicability |
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Rick and Morty (Oni) (Comic Book) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_810c9b91 | |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_81692f99 | comment |
Throughout the Star Trek franchise, saying "You fight like a Ferengi" is not a compliment. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_81692f99 | featureApplicability |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_81692f99 | featureConfidence |
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Star Trek (Franchise) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_81692f99 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_81fbcc95 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_81fbcc95 | comment |
During his battle with Kyuzo in Samurai 7, Kambei confides that he is in love... with Kyuzo's skill, that is. He also tries to convince Kyuzo to join the samurai. | |
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Samurai 7 | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_81fbcc95 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_84986bf9 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_84986bf9 | comment |
During the dream sequence of RuneScape quest "Lunar Diplomacy", one of your tasks is to battle a vision of yourself called "Me". You and "Me" have some amusing banter of this nature. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_84986bf9 | featureApplicability |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_84986bf9 | featureConfidence |
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RuneScape (Video Game) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_84986bf9 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_86c3beca | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_86c3beca | comment |
Girl Genius main Love Triangle presents a variation: | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_86c3beca | featureApplicability |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_86c3beca | featureConfidence |
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Girl Genius (Webcomic) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_86c3beca | |
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Teen Titans (2003): In one episode Raven briefly fights Jinx during which Jinx says "you fight like a boy." Slade does this to Terra in his usual blunt, aloof manner. |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_87e00d8e | featureApplicability |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_87e00d8e | featureConfidence |
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Teen Titans (2003) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_87e00d8e | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_89ce309d | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_89ce309d | comment |
Averted (though the trope apparently hadn't been invented yet) in the climactic duel in Macbeth: | |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_89ce309d | featureConfidence |
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Macbeth (Theatre) | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_89ce309d | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_8dd4a32c | type |
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Popeye: In a 1960 cartoon, Brutus has cornered the market on spinach, causing a shortage to where Popeye can't get to any. At a spinach factory, Brutus thinks he's finished him off by dropping a crate of spinach on Popeye, only to find he's eating it and gets his strength back. He challenges Brutus to a fight, to which Brutus comments "You couldn't bruise a begonia!" Popeye shows otherwise. In another, Popeye and Wimpy are looking for Gonga, a tiger that has been terrorizing a village in India. When they discover the beast lurking in the shrubbery: |
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Popeye | hasFeature |
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As should be expected from the title, Swashbuckler is full of these: | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_8e00d6e6 | featureApplicability |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_8e00d6e6 | featureConfidence |
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Swashbuckler | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_8e00d6e6 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_8f584bc3 | type |
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You Fight Like a Cow / int_8f584bc3 | comment |
The Flash Sentry Chronicles: Flash throws insults and taunts at his enemies enough it would make even Spider-Man proud. | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_8f584bc3 | featureApplicability |
1.0 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_8f584bc3 | featureConfidence |
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The Flash Sentry Chronicles / Fan Fic | hasFeature |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_8f584bc3 | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_9068877a | type |
You Fight Like a Cow | |
You Fight Like a Cow / int_9068877a | comment |
In one episode of Red vs. Blue Caboose uses some bizarre ones, such as "Your soul is burnt and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts!" and "Your brain is a mountain of lies!" This while using what was assuredly a form of autohypnosis to turn himself into a killing machine. Sarge was quite impressed. | |
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In Latchkey Kingdom, this is a favorite tactic in princess Rosaline's fencing. | |
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Them's Fightin' Herds: Texas will say this word-for-word in one of his taunts. Keep in mind one of the other fighters, his daughter, is a cow. | |
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The Lucifer and Biscuit Hammer: Mikazuki picks up on this when he plays "catch" with Yuuhi. | |
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Paper Mario featured The Master saying that Mario "fights like a plumber." In case you forgot, Mario is a plumber. | |
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Can happen in the fight with Daud in Dishonored if you take long enough. | |
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The duels in Revolutionary Girl Utena often contain some form of this; Utena's part, though, can be either participatory or merely reactionary, depending on how invested she is at the moment... or how confused. (Utena, not the audience.) Theatrically, in a series where the difference between reality and reality-as-a-stage has blurred, the duels were depicted as cathartic. This is especially blatant in the final Nanami duel, as both participants know Nanami hasn't a shot in hell of winning from the start and just needs to HIT someone. | |
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In Vinyl and Octavia Have Multiple Dates, Octavia ends up getting into a pun battle with Neon Lights. Also includes a Shout-Out to the Trope Namer. | |
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Used throughout The Elder Scrolls series as combat dialogue insults, especially Morrowind and Oblivion. These include "you move like a pregnant cow", and, of course, most people have "fought mudcrabs tougher than you!" For bonus points, race specific insults are included as well. | |
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A Song of Ice and Fire: Ser Rodrik criticizes the people he's teaching swordplay in this manner. Specifically, he tells one that he fights like a porcupine (presumably stabbing out a sword aimlessly to try and keep an opponent away) and another that he fights like a goose, letting himself be hit and hitting back harder, ignoring the fact that with real swords the first blow would have killed him. The climactic duel between Oberyn Martell, the Red Viper of Dorne and Gregor Clegane, the Mountain that Rides. The former talks a lot, but it mostly consists of repeating the same thing over and over in an attempt to infuriate his opponent and get him to confess his crimes. The latter gets worked up enough to shout at him to shut up a few times but doesn't actually reply coherently until the end. |
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Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl features a short exchange of witty banter between Captain Jack Sparrow and Will Turner, and the series only builds on the banter from there. Indeed, at many points in the franchise one can discern who has the advantage in a fight by paying attention to who gets the better lines. | |
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One Piece: Roronoa Zoro is the most prone to this. Nearly all of his battles have featured gratuitous Trash Talk on his part. While holding a sword in his mouth. His heart allows him to speak. Sanji is definitely no slouch either. When Luffy talks in a fight, you can be sure he's either telling the other guy to shut up or fanboying over how cool the other guy's attacks are. During Franky's fight with Fukuro at Enies Lobby, they start calling each other various forms of underwear. |
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Cheshire Crossing: A Sword Fight between Laughably Evil villain Captain Hook and Lovable Rogue the Jack of Hearts naturally leads to this sort of thing: |
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Morte, of Planescape: Torment, actually has a special ability directed related to his ability to cuss someone out. If they fail their save, they are enraged and attempt to attack him in melee. So, fired at a D&D style spell caster... Even better the save to resist actually becomes harder the higher the target's intelligence score, presumably on the basis that dumb characters won't understand most of the taunts. | |
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The title heroes of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films indulge in this with Michelangelo and Donatello being the prime offenders. | |
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WET has a load of Cluster F Bombs amongst some genuinely funny barbs. | |
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In Johannes Cabal the Detective Cabal uses this to his advantage-he challenges Count Marechal to a swordfight (as opposed to just shooting Cabal dead) by provoking his pride into giving Cabal the chance of a fair fight. During the actual fight, he wonders if the Count learned to fight via correspondence course. The Count calls him a "low-born dog". | |
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Kaamelott's weaponmaster does not hesitate to insult the king while sparring with him. Arthur is usually not amused, doesn't really see the point though the weaponmaster does try and get him to throw insults around. He finally gets his way... only for Arthur to say something which he finds really, really offensive. | |
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Robin Hood: Men in Tights, the Mel Brooks parody of Robin Hood stories, featured Cary Elwes in an expy of his above role, complete with similar quipping swordplay. His archenemy the Sheriff of Rottingham attempts this and fails... every time. | |
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Wing Commander lets you insult enemy pilots using your fighter's communications system. This is actually an important tactic — insult them enough, and they attack you instead of whatever you're protecting. The Kilrathi have their own witty ripostes, like "A proper fate for a coward!" or "I will eat your heart and spit it out, Terran!" and "Sad, that I must litter space with ape corpses!" Kilrathi ace Baron Baktosh nar Kiranka is notorious for his exceptionally insulting taunts. |
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Neverwinter Nights and Neverwinter Nights 2 gives all creatures and characters with human vocal capabilities a few one-liners they spout off at random during combat, so two characters will do this in a duel if it lasts long enough. | |
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Loopmancer have moments where mooks taunt you for "hitting like a pig". | |
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The famous Inigo/Westley duel in The Princess Bride, where the two duelists discuss swordsmanship styles and dexterity as they fight, may be the most well-known example. Interestingly, though the fighting itself is pure Flynning, the various techniques they claim to be using (Bonetti's Defense, Capo Ferro, etc.) all include the names of real fencing masters. | |
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The duel between Mina and Dorian Grey in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is Better on DVD because A) the version in the deleted scenes lasts longer and B) the double entendres are hilarious. | |
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In Young Justice (2010), Black Spider frequently refers to the level of his "quippage" in every one of his appearances. Probably has something to do with having the same voice actor as Spidey and being on another show produced by Greg Weisman. Doubles as a Lampshade Hanging, Fandom Nod, or... something, as it came out not long after Spider-Man 3. One oft-mentioned downside to the Raimi Spidey trilogy is the absence of Spidey's trademark battle banter. |
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In Kuffs, during a standoff with some bad guys: | |
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Danny Phantom: Lampshaded when, during the episode "Beauty Marked," Danny runs out of quips while fighting a medieval executioner ghost. From "Shades of Grey," after the ghost dog bursts into the school cafeteria: |
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Weaponized by Prowl in Transformers: Animated. After cluing in to the link between Blitzwing's personalities and his alt modes, he has Bumblebee throw insults at Blitzwing until he switches from "Icy" to "Hothead", which swaps him from jet mode to tank mode. In midair. | |
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Warhammer: The Chaos special character Wulfrik the Wanderer is able to do this in order to challenge enemy champions. His insults are crude and unsubtle (think nine-foot-tall Viking Jerk Jock metalhead) but thank to Chaos magic, they infuriate the target so much they have to fight back (and often fight badly because of it). | |
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Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series references the Monkey Island insult during Joey vs. Kaiba. One of Kaiba's put-downs goes on for nearly a minute. | |
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Child of the Storm has multiple instances of this, true to its Marvel roots, but perhaps the finest example is in Unfinished Business when Wanda does this at the Arc Villain's expense, casually criticising her technique as she tries - fruitlessly - to destroy Wanda. This drives said Arc Villain nuts. | |
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Royal Flash. Flashman does this to the Rupert of Hentzau-expy he's fighting to make him lose his temper and wear himself out in wild thrusts, so the stronger Flashman will have the advantage. It doesn't work. | |
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In Strange Magic the duel between Marianne and the Bog King consists of a duet liberally mixed with these kinds of comments. And, as they prove to be each other's equal it turns downright flirtatious. | |
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The duels in Yu-Gi-Oh! are frequently peppered with insults when the characters don't Contemplate Our Navels. | |
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In Lace & Steel, exchanging witticisms during combat is facilitated by rolling (mutually agreed upon) Repartee contests at the start of combat, as well as whenever a Disengage or Lock Hilts card is played. The winner of the contest gets to steal two cards from the loser's hand. | |
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Intelligence Factor: Unlike most Inteleon, Thiver won't stop coming out with jokes and one-liners. Julian wonders if he does this to distract his opponents. | |
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The trope name is taken from the above Monkey Island quotation; in that game, the results of sword fights are based entirely on insults, with lots of Flynning between barbs. As the game's sword-fighting instructor put it, sword fighting is a lot like making love: It doesn't really matter what you do, but what you say. The sword-fighting in the first game starts with you getting a basic insult ("You fight like a dairy farmer") and a basic retort ("How appropriate, you fight like a cow.") You're then expected to roam the island looking for pirates, challenging them to duels, and using your insult to get a retort. If your opponent retorts successfully, they'll insult you, and if it's one you haven't heard before, you can add it to your repertoire. If you retort successfully, you can insult the enemy and see if they know the appropriate retort. Building up your insults and retorts allows you to then challenge the Swordmaster, who changes the game by always insulting you, and with insults that you haven't seen before, forcing you to find the retort that still matches ("I will milk every drop of blood from your body!" "How appropriate, you fight like a cow."). In later games things get more... interesting... In the third game the fights all take place at sea, so all insults and comebacks have to rhyme. By the fourth, everything is based around insulting: Insult Darts, Insult Mudwrestling, Insult Arm Wrestling, and the Big Bad is a Corrupt Corporate Executive who goes around performing hostile property takeovers by challenging everyone into playing insult games with him. Naturally, he wins every time because no one can make heads or tails of his Australian insult vocabulary. The latter half of the game even centers on finding the Ultimate Insult and using it to power up a monkey-shaped Humongous Mecha. Also in later games, the line "You fight like a cow" itself reappears as a Running Gag. Generally, the player has the option to respond "Oh yeah? Well, you fight like a cow!" or something similar when he feels he's been insulted and is usually told either that his material is stale or he's using the line out of context. It's also a Running Gag in the original game — it appears as a dialogue option (used completely out of context) in a couple of situations, one of which gets him the response "You never did know when to use that one." It also turns up in non-LucasFilm games, such as A Tale of Two Kingdoms, where you can use insult sword fighting against Rashakk the Goblin Warlord. Turns out he's better at it, though. There's a Shout-Out to it after the tutorial battle in Jade Empire, where you can tell a fellow student he fights like a cow. It should be noted that the insults were written by none other than Orson Scott Card. In Tales of Monkey Island, Guybrush tries using it on Morgan LeFlay. She responds by cutting off your hand. It comes back with a particularly dark twist in Chapter 4. After Guybrush is killed, LeChuck tells Elaine she waves her sword around like a dairy farmer, and Elaine replies with the no-longer-funny "How appropriate... you fight like a Pox-infected undead cow." Also comes back with a twist in Chapter 5. In the Crossroads, Guybrush tries to cheer up Morgan LeFlay's spirit and ends up getting in a fight with the ghost of an overzealous sword fighter. So you have to simultaneously compliment Morgan and insult your opponent. Ron Gilbert said that the creative team often watched 1930s swashbuckling movies for inspiration and noticed the abundance of taunts. This fit the game way better than originally planned arcade sequences. |
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In later games things get more... interesting... In the third game the fights all take place at sea, so all insults and comebacks have to rhyme. By the fourth, everything is based around insulting: Insult Darts, Insult Mudwrestling, Insult Arm Wrestling, and the Big Bad is a Corrupt Corporate Executive who goes around performing hostile property takeovers by challenging everyone into playing insult games with him. Naturally, he wins every time because no one can make heads or tails of his Australian insult vocabulary. The latter half of the game even centers on finding the Ultimate Insult and using it to power up a monkey-shaped Humongous Mecha. | |
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Cutthroat Kitchen: Chefs often do this in the middle of the round. The exchanges often go like this: | |
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Kurenai Otoya from Kamen Rider Kiva tends to quip a lot when fighting as IXA. | |
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Deadlands allows three social actions to hinder opponents in combat: staredowns (i.e. give 'em the old steel-eyed glare and get them pecker heads quaking in their boots), bluffing to keep them off balance, and mocking them into doing something stupid. | |
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7th Sea is made of this trope, the description of the game world is "Where a cutting remark is as sharp as any blade." The game has a Repartee system that includes taunts (making a flourish and then forcing an opponent to make an equally impressive flourish) and intimidation (depriving opponents of dice), to the point that some swordsman schools are built around it. For example, one gives the player an extra action each turn that can only be used to taunt his foe. | |
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Used hilariously in South Park by Russel Crowe while he's beating up some random basketball players. | |
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Warrior Cats: The Clan cats will use a phrase called "You're fighting like a kittypet(house cat)" to a cat whose fighting is poor. The best example is Blackfoot telling Darkstripe this when he's having trouble against a beaten and starving Stonefur. | |
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In Astro City story "Pastoral", Roustabout is full of quips when taking down the bank robbers. Less so with Team Carnivore, which actually looked able to overwhelm him for a time. | |
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Most of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer crew get a shot at it, as they're living in a World of Snark. Spoofed with the Buffybot, when Willow tries to make it as much like Buffy as possible but messes up the "quipping" feature, resulting in the likes of "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!" And lampshaded in "Anne", which showed the rest of the crew trying to get on with the slayage without her. Willow, after a really bad one: Also, in "Triangle", during the fight with Olaf the troll. Anya, being the reason he is a troll, has a lot to say about him - though she runs out of snark once she gets past, "You're a troll!"; Lampshaded by Buffy herself: Lampshaded when Buffy finds herself up against a female vampire who's as good as she is, including snark-wise. One of her henchvamps asks if they're going to fight or just have a monster sarcasm rally. |
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Sienkiewicz Trilogy: In The Deluge, during Wołodyjowski's duel with Kmicic, the former calls out the latter on all of his shabby fencing techniques. A less trashy example than usual, but there are a few comments along the lines of: "Alright, that one? Good for chasing off stray dogs." "You swing that sabre like a peasant's flail!", comparing the nobleman Kmicic to a peasant, is definitely below the belt by the standards of the time, though. | |
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In GURPS, there is an advantage called Rapier Wit, which enables its user to stun an opponent with a well-chosen remark. And it is a free action. | |
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One of the nastiest monsters in Beyond Zork is the Cruel Puppet, whose quips are so lethal they cause physical damage. In this case, though, responding in turn is the worst thing you can do. | |
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Star Wars Legends: Dun Möch is waging psychological warfare on their opponents through taunts and insults while using the Force to manipulate their enemies' emotions. Almost entirely a Sith technique, although there has been the occasional Jedi who made use of it for more benign reasons. Admittedly, Jedi use of it tends less toward hurling insults and more toward Warrior Therapist, but the goal remains the same: put your opponent off balance by interfering with their ability to concentrate and thus their ability to use the Force. The Captive Temple: While dueling Qui-Gon, Xanatos taunts his former Master for being slow, claiming he's faster now. Qui-Gon disagrees. Later he says that Xanatos always starts his taunts when he's tiring and that his fatal flaw is his need to boast, often revealing aspects of his complex plans that would be more effective if secret. |
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Scion lets Scions of the Tuatha De Dannan (the gods of Ireland) insult their opponents so harshly that it destroys their ability to do the task mocked ("I've seen blind children who could hurt me worse than this idiot!", for example, would cripple the target's combat skill). | |
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Averted in Star Control III. If an alien ship attacks you because you insulted their commander, you're considered the aggressor and heavily penalized. This can lead to a Non Standard Game Over. (Particularly nasty because there are two different opportunities to call the K'tang dolts, and only one of them has an associated penalty. Apparently, whether an insult counts as starting a fight is dependent on whether the specific alien you're talking to understands it.) | |
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Firefly: "War Stories" when Niska has Mal and Wash abducted and tortured. The two of them frustrate Niska by ignoring him and arguing with each other throughout the torture session, bantering and needling each other in between jolts of electricity. It's revealed later in the episode that Mal specifically goaded Wash with the banter to keep his mind focused and keep him sane throughout the brutal torture. | |
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In the The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Witcher 3 DLC Blood and Wine, one of the fistfighters in Beauclair will boast about his wit, insulting Geralt in the process. Instead of going straight into the fight, Geralt can choose to respond with a rhyming retort. After a few of these, the fistfighter won't be able to think of a comeback and declare Geralt the winner of the fight without a single punch being thrown. Incidentally, the fistfighter has a blonde ponytail, a loose-fitting white shirt, and the name 'Mancomb'. |
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Dragon Ball Z: Vegetto, the fusion of Goku and Vegeta, is the absolute master of this, having the perfect blend of Vegeta's (now justified) arrogance, and Goku's sense of humor. | |
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The Mountain and the Wolf: The Wolf continuously insults all his victims as they fight, but the only one who manages to answer and match him for a while is Euron. Not that it helps him, the Wolf having the advantage of saying things supernaturally guaranteed to piss off whoever he's fighting (and even the people he's friendly with without meaning to). The Night King also isn't too affected, but just remains silent. | |
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Kingdom of Loathing has Insult Beer Pong, a Shout-Out to Monkey Island. In order to win, you need to buy The Big Book of Pirate Insults and use it against pirates, and each time they embarrass you with a witty comeback, it's added to the list of retorts you can use during Insult Beer Pong. "You fight like a cow" is one of the default insults that don't work. | |
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The theme of the Britanick episode "OLS" — it's an infomercial for a company that provides witty one-liners on the fly. | |
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Kender, a race in the Dragonlance setting, have the racial ability to taunt opponents into attacking them wildly without regard to their personal safety as a tactical combat option. | |
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Max, the main character in Mighty Max, loves to shout quips, both in everyday life and when faced with life-thratening danger. | |
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Snape, ever the teacher, corrects Harry's technique and lectures him on his mistakes while they duel near the end of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. | |
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Deadpool: Being a lunatic who knows he's in a comic book, Deadpool has some truly... interesting... battle banter which often derails into stream-of-consciousness rambling about something completely unrelated (even as he handily beats the stuffing out of his opponent.) In fact, it's speculated by some characters that he does this on purpose to distract his opponents. Several characters, at least, have had lines like, "What are you talking about?" cut off by a blow to the face from Deadpool. Given that Spider-Man and Deadpool are the masters of this trope within the Marvel Universe, it should come as no surprise that they utilize this to the fullest when they meet up in Amazing Spider-Man #611, which writer Joe Kelly describes as "a fight that very quickly degenerates into a 'your mother is' joke contest." It continues throughout their Spider-Man/Deadpool series. In his second ongoing series, Deadpool has at least one voice in his head that he converses with; often he has two or more. As a result, he is one of the only comic book characters who can give "fight like a cow" insults to himself. |
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In the Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers episode "Mindnet", Shane Gooseman and Ryker Kilbane are fighting for Her Majesty's amusement, and Killbane is getting more and more frustrated the longer he fights. | |
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Rumble McSkirmish from Gravity Falls has this one: | |
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Gravity Falls | hasFeature |
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Vampire: The Requiem has a bloodline called the Spina who can gain combat advantages against opponents they've engaged in dialogue. At their power's highest level they can injure opponents just by insulting them. | |
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Rough Riders: While battling Jack Johnson, Rasputin delivers the odd insult "You fight like Russian midwife!". | |
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